


Shut the World Out

by mandrs



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad girl Ymir Fritz, Blow Jobs, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Caring Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Choking, Did I Mention Angst?, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, Established Relationship, Face Slapping, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, Long-Haired Eren Yeager, M/M, Riding, Rough Sex, Smut, They suck at communicating, Top Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:27:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28115385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandrs/pseuds/mandrs
Summary: Eren Jaeger's life was perfect. The perfect house, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect friends. It wasn't until he met Ymir Fritz that he realized just how boring perfect could be, when living the dream started to feel something more like a nightmare he couldn't wake up from.But being around Ymir was like chasing wildfire. She made his blood burn with adrenaline. For the first time in years, Eren could feel something new, something exciting. It was dangerous but so very addicting, the highs and the lows melting together in a confusing new reality. He wasalive, and in the dark space between his shadow and his soul, it feltspectacular.But how long will that last before reality comes crashing down around him?
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 135
Kudos: 148





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been obsessed with this idea of bad girl Ymir Fritz for weeks now. For those of you following me, I know I said I was going to do a sequel to Harder to Breathe, but this idea came along and I had to run with it. I will be getting to that sequel though! I just need some angst in my life before I try and write more fluff lol. And trust me, this is going to be a very angsty fic. Like. I'm a little ashamed of some of the ideas I have for it. But I'm a masochist and like pain apparently, so it is what it is. 
> 
> Anyway, I've never seen a fic with Ymir Fritz in it before so I'm curious to see how Eren and Ymir's relationship will be and I'm super excited to explore this idea. Let me know what you guys think of it!
> 
> Also if you're into listening to music, I have a whole playlist for this fic on [Spotify. ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/50ZAQzoOkzaUszSzXFkcIS)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it!

Eren was not a morning person. He hated waking up before 8 AM, hated the blaring alarm that pulled him from his comfortable slumber. Hated the grogginess that followed him around until he had a proper cup of coffee.

But getting to wake up to his boyfriend every morning made it better. Waking up to find Levi wrapped in his arms, his scent and warmth engulfing him like a blanket made being awake all the more bearable. He hated waking up early, but he loved the murmured good mornings and soft kisses shared against fluffy pillows. Loved it when Levi made him coffee with his usual cream and sugar before he even dragged his ass out of bed. Loved the quiet peacefulness that their quaint little house radiated as the sun slanted through the windows at eight in the morning. 

It was a morning like any other and Eren sat at the kitchen island, a steaming cup of coffee clutched between his cold hands. Bleary-eyed and far too tired, he watched Levi’s back muscles coiling under his tight, grey t-shirt as he scrambled some eggs in a frying pan. It was mornings like this, peaceful and quiet, that made Eren realize just how lucky he was. 

Don’t ask him how, but somehow he had managed to get the most private professor at Trost University to go on a date with him when he was only a mere freshman. Call it fate, or some holy miracle sent by God, but Levi had thought Eren interesting enough to give him a chance. And there had been no way in hell he was going to pass that up. After all, getting to date Dr. Ackerman was like catching a mystical unicorn and somehow leading it to water. It just didn’t happen.

Yet it did. And Levi was making Eren breakfast in  _ their  _ kitchen like he did every morning. Because Levi was pretty much perfect and Eren was positive he didn’t deserve him. Especially since he was just some shitty college student with nothing to his name and no money in his checking account. 

Meanwhile, Levi had a PhD and a successful career. He had a house with a porch and a garden and car that didn’t break down every other month. And even though Levi had a boyfriend that was sixteen years younger than him, who mooched off of him at every turn, he never complained, never faulted Eren for his shortcomings. He only ever looked at him with a look so devoted that it made Eren’s insides melt every time green met grey.

“Is your class with Nile Dok today?” Levi asked over the sizzle of the pan, his low voice pulling him out of his musing.

“Uhh I think so,” Eren hummed, taking a long sip of his coffee, the bittersweet flavor dancing across his tongue, sparking a short burst of energy in his veins that helped clear the haziness in his head. “He’s the guy who teaches multicultural lit, right?” 

“Yeah,” Levi huffed, moving over to the cabinet to grab down two plates. 

Eren smirked to himself as Levi got up on his tiptoes to reach, the sight far too endearing for his heart to handle that early in the morning. All he wanted to do in that moment was to go up behind him, wrap his arms around Levi’s waist, bend down and press a kiss to the cheek. It was a real shame that he was too tired to move from his perch at the island.

“I don’t understand how he’s teaching a class about diversity. Dude’s kind of a prejudiced asshole.”

Levi snorted, plating up the scrambled eggs with some buttered toast. “Fuck if I know. I was hoping to get the slot for it but administration decided I’d be better off with more fucking composition classes,” he said, turning and sliding a plate towards Eren who happily took it with a soft smile. Levi met his gaze, the barest hint of a smirk curling the corner of his mouth. “Not that I would want to be your professor again anyway. So I guess it’s for the best.”

“Don’t lie. I know you got off on it,” Eren said, grabbing a fork, hungrily stabbing at the fluffy eggs on his plate. 

“Like I’d be so perverse.” Levi rolled his eyes.

Eren smirked around his fork. “I could always come by your office later today, see if that’s a lie or not.”

“Better not, brat. Your loud ass will get me fired.”

“Me? Loud?” Eren scoffed, pretending to be appalled by the notion. Eren knew he made his fair share of noise whenever he and Levi fucked, but Levi was  _ by far _ louder than him. “Last I checked, you’re the one always screaming for more whenever I pound your sweet ass.”

Levi’s eyes widened momentarily as a pink blush reddened his cheeks, his head bowing ever so slightly as he reached for his own fork. Something hungry stirred inside of Eren at his reaction. The fact that he still had such an effect on Levi after all these years made his heart swell with pride and something primal. Unable to help himself, he leaned in closer to Levi, his face mere inches from his across the island as he slowly licked his lips, tasting the breath they shared between them. “Want me to prove it?”

“Eren…” Levi breathed, eyes dilating, peering deeply into Eren’s own. The pure desire darkening his stare stole the breath right out of Eren’s lungs, sending him completely over the edge. He needed Levi, now more than ever.

Forgetting all about his breakfast, Eren pushed his plate aside and leaned all the way across the island, stealing Levi’s parted lips into a slow and steady kiss that tasted like tea and honey. A low whine resonated in Eren’s throat and he pushed forward, deepening their kiss, his hand reaching out to cradle the sharp curve of Levi’s jaw as his tongue flicked inside of his mouth. That dark need that had surfaced earlier swirled hungrily in his gut and he could feel himself tightening in his pants already, the taste of Levi on his tongue drowning him in a sea of desire.

But Levi pulled away far too soon, his chest rising and falling with each hasty breath, soft lips red and wet and so enticing that Eren wanted to dive back in for more of those sweet kisses. “Eren, I don’t have time for this,” Levi said in a low voice. There was an air of regret to his words and Eren knew he didn’t want to cut their kiss short but time wouldn’t allow for them to lose themselves in each other. 

Eren groaned in obvious frustration, flopping back down on his stool as he pulled his plate back in front of him. “Fine,” he sighed, stabbing a glob of eggs a little too aggressively as he shifted in his seat to better accommodate the nagging boner he was now sporting.

“Stop pouting,” Levi rolled his eyes as he pushed his food around with his fork. “You know I would if I could.”

Eren nodded slowly. He knew Levi had to get to work soon, had responsibilities he couldn’t ignore. But sometimes Eren just wanted Levi to forget about the rest of the world, to just give in to his desires, to be just a little impulsive. Then again, Eren was plenty impulsive for both of them. If anything, Levi kept Eren in check, kept him from being reckless with his own responsibilities. As much as Eren wanted to moan and groan about Levi’s maturity when it came to prioritization, he knew it was good for them both.

But that didn’t stop Eren from being a little irresponsible sometimes.

“Looks like I’ll be stopping by your office hours after all.”

Levi stopped mid-bite, narrowing his eyes at Eren. “I will throw your ass out.”

“Oooh,” Eren drawled, a smirk curving his lip. “You know I like a challenge.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Whatever, you love me.”

Levi peered up at Eren through his eyelashes, the softest of smiles in his eyes. He reached across the island and grabbed Eren’s hand, lacing their fingers together. A perfect fit. “Yeah. I do.”

The soft admission made Eren’s heart swell two times bigger and his skin felt too tight for all of the emotions swirling underneath the surface. He had always been the more emotional one in the relationship, unable to stop himself from spilling out his feelings through his traitorous tear ducts. Even now, he could feel his eyes stinging with unshed tears, and he was sure his eyes were glistening with wetness if Levi’s soft expression was anything to go by. 

“Eren, you’re not going to cry, are you?” Levi asked, squeezing Eren’s hand. 

“No,” he said, looking down at his plate of half-eaten food as he tried to compose himself. But he couldn’t stop the stinging in his eyes, the tightness in his chest. Don’t ask him why, but whenever Levi admitted his feelings for Eren, it always made him overly emotional. Maybe it was because Levi wasn’t the most forthcoming about his emotions. So when he did admit his feelings out loud it always hit him in the chest so hard it made it difficult to breathe.

Levi hummed, letting go of Eren’s hand as he stood up and walked around the island. He came up next to him, leaning against the countertop as he brushed Eren’s long hair away from his face, a look so tender and devoted in those deep grey eyes that his bones went soft underneath them. What did he do to deserve that look? To deserve that kind of love? It just didn’t seem possible. Even after three years, sometimes Eren wondered when he was going to wake up from this dream.

Eren couldn’t stop the tears from finally escaping, falling fast and hot down his cheeks. Not when Levi was looking at him like  _ that.  _

“You better not be crying because I said I don’t have time to fuck,” Levi said in such a soft voice that if Eren hadn’t been directly in front of him, he wouldn’t have been able to hear him. His thumb trailed over his cheek, wiping away the wetness trailing down his face.

Eren couldn’t help but chuckle at that, sniffing lightly as he leaned into Levi’s touch. “If I said I was, would you change your mind?”

He scoffed. “Brat.” 

Despite the admonishing tone, Levi placed his hands on either side of Eren’s face, his thumbs idly brushing against Eren’s damp cheeks, eliciting another round of tears to fall from his eyes. How could someone who appeared so cold on the outside have the softest of touches? The warmest of eyes? Of course, Eren knew that Levi was anything but cold, that it was all a front too many people often misunderstood. Deep down, Levi had a big heart, though he never showed it, never wore it on his sleeves. Not like Eren did. But after being with him for years, Eren knew better than anyone just how deeply Levi felt about things, knew how much he cared for the ones he loved.

“Why are you crying, Eren?”

He tried to shake his head, to clear the emotion from behind his eyes, but it was hard with Levi’s hands holding him in place. So he forced himself to look up at Levi, forced himself to meet eyes that looked like molten pools of silver.

“I just love you so much,” he whispered, the words tumbling quietly from his lips like they were a secret being uttered for the first time.

“Eren,” Levi sighed, leaning in to kiss away the rogue tear sliding down his cheek. The sound of his name being breathed on Levi’s lips made his bones feel light and his body sank instinctively into Levi’s sturdy chest. Strong arms wrapped him up, pulling him tightly against him as Eren pressed his face into the crook of Levi’s neck. He breathed in his scent, soap and tea kindly meeting his nose. The scent was so comforting and so familiar that he wanted to stay there forever. It was home.

“You can come to my office at two. I don’t have any appointments,” Levi said suddenly against Eren’s hair. 

He pulled away immediately, eyes widening. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Levi nodded, running his fingers through Eren’s long hair, the small gesture making his scalp tingle.

His heart fluttered with excitement, the promise of Levi’s invitation stealing away the tears from his eyes. “No way I’m going to be able to sit through my morning classes now,” Eren smirked, looking down at Levi’s mouth as he thought about how much he just wanted to kiss him and take him right here and now. 

Levi snorted. “Amazing how the prospect of sex gets you to stop crying.”

“What can I say? I’m a simple man,” Eren sniffed, straightening out with a smirk.

“Apparently.” Levi ruffled Eren’s hair and turned back to the kitchen island, a playful glint lingering in his eyes. 

Levi continued to lean into his side as he pulled his plate across the counter. An amused smile curled Eren’s lip as he watched him scarf down his food with a fervor he usually didn’t employ. “Gross,” Eren teased.

Stopping mid-chew, Levi turned to Eren with a scowl. “Don’t ‘gross’ me,” he said, quickly swallowing his mouthful. “It’s your fault I’m running late now. So shut up and eat your food.”

Unable to stop himself from being childish, Eren stuck his tongue out at him. Feeling all too pleased with himself, he picked up his fork and scooped up a mound of eggs. But Levi was apparently feeling playful and decided to flick him hard on the nose, making him drop his food and fork back onto the plate with a loud clank. 

“What was that for?” Eren asked, scowling.

“For being a shitty brat,” he smirked, pecking Eren on the cheek before picking up his plate and heading to the sink. “Can you clean up, I have to get going.”

“Of course.”

And when Levi turned to look at him there was that familiar softness in his eyes that never seemed to waver. “I’ll see you at two,” Levi said, crossing the kitchen. Grabbing Eren by the collar, he pulled him in for a heated kiss that ended far too soon. 

“Looking forward to it,” Eren smirked, tentative fingers brushing up against his tingling lips as he watched Levi walk away.

And just like that, he was more than awake, his blood set abuzz with the promise of a passion-filled afternoon. It’s not like Eren was touch starved or anything. They had their fair share of intimate moments, the sexual attraction they had for each other overwhelming at times. But it was rare for Levi to agree to do something so risky knowing if he got caught it could likely cost him his job. But the risk made it all the more exciting, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he imagined all of the things he wanted to do to Levi as he bent him over his desk.

That image alone consumed his thoughts as he cleaned up the kitchen and he knew he was fucked. Getting through the rest of his morning was going to be a struggle, that much he was certain.

  
  


Just as Eren expected, his classes dragged by all morning. It was nearly impossible to pay attention to any of his teacher’s droning with the thought of Levi consuming his mind. It probably would’ve been better of him to miss class than try to listen to the lectures. Nothing his professors were saying was even registering in his head, his attendance completely pointless.

It was during his last class of the day when he started to get antsy, his leg bouncing impatiently underneath his desk. It didn’t help that multicultural literature was a completely bullshit class for him. It was just an elective he’d been forced to take that checked off two boxes towards graduation. Not only did it count for a humanities elective, but it fulfilled his diversity requirement as well. 

It was almost two o’clock and Eren’s mind was painting images of all the delicious things he wanted to do to Levi. But his classmates had different plans for him, not allowing his mind to wander down the dirty path he so wanted to take. Midway through the class, a heated discussion over whatever bullshit they were supposed to be going over erupted between a student and the professor, and it was impossible to ignore.

“Janie shouldn’t be forced to marry Logan, it’s wrong,” said an unfamiliar girl from across the room, her voice strong and steady.

Pulled from his daze, Eren sat up in his chair, peering across a row of heads to get a look at the woman that he didn’t recognize. At the other side of the room sat a girl with straight blonde hair that reached past her shoulders, choppy bangs framing an impassive face. Despite the heated words pouring from her mouth, she looked incredibly bored. And yet, behind the blank expression Eren spotted blue eyes that were so vivid and fierce, he was sure they’d be able to melt through glass.

“Consider the times, Ymir,” Dr. Dok countered. “Janie doesn’t have many options. She’s a black woman with no money and nothing to her name.”

“So what? The times shouldn’t dictate the innate freedom that all humans are gifted. Besides, her grandmother should have sympathy for Janie. She was a slave most of her life, she should understand what it’s like to have her choice taken away from her. Nanny should know better than force the choice on her granddaughter. Janie should be allowed to choose whether she wants to live freely in poverty or be trapped in a marriage she obviously doesn’t want. That’s her right,” said Ymir.

The passion in her voice caught Eren’s attention, making him lean forward as he watched her fling heated words at the dumbfounded professor. Truth be told, Eren hadn’t a clue what was going on in their discussion, having failed to read the material before class. But the topic they were discussing was interesting enough to spark his interest.

“But Nanny has a point,” another voice spoke up, closer to Eren this time. Another student he didn’t recognize. He’s pretty sure he heard the professor call her Gabi once or twice before. “If Janie doesn’t marry a man that offers stability and wealth, she might forever get suck being seen as a mule, so to speak.”

“But Janie doesn’t care about that. She doesn’t want to be trapped in a relationship that has no passion. She wants to be free to choose, to be free to explore her options on her own terms. The fact that Nanny, her own family, is trying to take away her freedom like that, is wrong.”

The blazing blue hue of Ymir’s eyes had Eren transfixed. How had he never noticed this girl before? Had he been that oblivious to all the people around him, lost in the mundane thoughts looping over and over in his head as he went through the daily routine of his life?

The obvious passion Ymir felt about the character’s right to choose had Eren curious. It obviously struck a chord in her when Dok had suggested that Janie didn’t have a choice in her future and Eren couldn’t help but wonder why.

For the rest of the class, Eren listened silently from the corner of the room, mesmerized by the eloquence his classmates exuded over the heated topic. Who would’ve thought a literature class could be grounds for such a passionate debate? No English class he’d been in before had been so interesting. But then again, maybe it wasn’t the class, so much as his peers. 

The class ended far too quickly and Eren was tempted to approach this Ymir girl, to introduce himself. But she was packing up her things quickly, slinging her black book bag over her shoulder, and storming out of the room. By the time Eren caught up with her, she had disappeared into the sea of students milling around the hallway, lost to the flow of bodies.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he followed after the direction she went. For whatever reason, there had been an energy about her that Eren just couldn’t ignore. He searched the crowd of people, looking for a blonde bob of hair that he spotted slipping through the doors leading to the courtyard.

Eren took chase after her, trying to appear as casual as possible as he quickened his pace. Nobody seemed to notice as he hurried through the hallways towards the double doors leading outside. As soon as he reached them, he pushed them open, finding Ymir standing off to the side, rummaging through her backpack, a cigarette clutched between two slender fingers.

“Ymir, right?” Eren asked, sliding his hands casually into his pockets, approaching her as if he hadn’t just stalked her through the school like some kind of weirdo.

“Yeah?” She said, placing the cigarette between her frowning lips. Now that she was standing in front of him, he noticed she was dressed in a black skirt with high socks and boots, suspenders holding it up over a white graphic T-shirt. Her frigid blue eyes were lined with smokey eyeliner, and the faintest of blush colored her pale cheeks. 

“The way you told off our professor today was pretty cool,” he said, kicking his foot against the pavement. Now that he had actually approached Ymir, he realized he had nothing to say and was growing increasingly uncomfortable at his own awkwardness. “I’m Eren, by the way.”

“Thanks, Eren…” she said, her face impassive as she lit her cigarette, a coldness in the hard set of her shoulders. Though her cold exterior didn’t bother him. In fact, it reminded him of how Levi used to be whenever he had tried to approach him after class his freshman year. “Dok is kind of a dick.”

“Yeah,” he snorted.

“Maybe you could side with me next time, take down the man in charge, start a coup d'etat.”

“Oh I would’ve, but I didn’t read the book so I didn’t really know what was going on,” he admitted sheepishly. 

Ymir huffed, blowing smoke as she looked at Eren from the corner of her eye. “Why are you in this class if you’re not going to read the book?”

“I don’t know. It sounded easy and it counts towards two different requirements, so,” he shrugged.

“Man, that’s real deep,” she deadpanned, rolling her eyes at him.

“Hey, I’m just trying to get by so I can graduate.”

Ymir hummed, taking a long drag of her cigarette. “I see,” she said, flicking the butt off the side, stomping on it with the toe of her boot. “I’m not interested in people who are just living to get by. Talk to me when you want to live a little.”

She shot Eren a cold look, her blonde hair flipping over her shoulder as she turned away, leaving him standing frozen by the door.  _ Damn. _ He hadn’t been expecting that kind of attitude from her, the roundness of her face had made her look sweet. But if her heated words and dismissive tone was anything to go by, she was anything but, making him all the more curious.

Eren stood there for a minute too long, watching as Ymir walked away. When his brain finally thawed out, he realized he had forgotten the time. Eren pulled out his phone, noting that it was fifteen minutes past two. 

“Damn,” he muttered to himself. Having been so distracted by his strange need to find that girl, he’d lost track of time. And now he was running late for his meeting with Levi, who didn’t like to be kept waiting.

Eren pocketed his phone and turned around, going back inside the humanities building, heading back towards the stairwell that would lead him up to where the offices resided. Luckily his class was in the same building as Levi’s office and since he hadn’t strayed too far, it was a short walk.

When he walked into the reception area, he skirted by the front desk, hoping the secretary wouldn’t spot him heading back to the offices. Too preoccupied with another student, Eren was able to sneak by without any issues, heading down the narrow corridor to the corner office with a plaque that read Ackerman on it.

His heart did a little flip as he spotted Levi through the cracked door. A pair of reading glasses sat on his face as he worked on his computer and he looked so cute, affection swirling inside his chest at the sight of him. Seeing him at work, knowing he had a place in his life both at school and at home was surreal to Eren. And yet when Levi spotted him approaching down the hallway, his focused stare warmed, the faintest hint of a smile on his lips, making it all too real.

“Is now a good time to talk, professor?” Eren asked. He winked playfully at Levi as he opened the door, leaning against the door frame, trying to appear casual even though his blood was hot with excitement.

Levi rolled his eyes, taking off his glasses with a scoff. “Get in here and lock the door.”

“Yes sir,” he smiled, doing as he was told.

“Do you get off on keeping me waiting, brat?” 

“Maybe,” Eren teased, walking over to Levi’s desk, placing his palms against the surface as he leaned closer to Levi. “It’s fun watching you squirm.”

“Little shit,” he muttered as he stood from his chair, closing the blinds to the window looking out to the courtyard. The likelihood of anyone being able to see them was slim, but Levi was always careful about these kinds of things. Eren didn’t blame him. He didn’t want him to get fired any more than Levi did. 

When Levi turned around, he slowly dragged his eyes up and down Eren’s body, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well? What are you waiting for? I don’t have all fucking day.”

Eren snorted, dropping his backpack onto the ground next to one of the chairs in front of the desk, skirting around it to take Levi into his arms. “Somebody’s impatient.”

“You know I don’t like to be kept waiting,” Levi said, peering up at him with darkened eyes.

Eren hummed, fingers trailing up Levi’s back, over his neck, and into his hair, tangling into his long, dark strands. He gently pulled at them, forcing his head back as Eren’s other hand cradled his angular jaw. The look on his face was perfect, eyes half-lidded, lips wet and parted. But Eren wanted more—wanted to see his skin flushed with desire, see his hair a mess, feel him hot and warm underneath him. He wanted to see him come completely undone.

“You’ve been thinking about this all day, haven’t you?” Eren asked, his thumb brushing against the smooth skin of his jawline.

Levi licked his lips, his hands resting on Eren’s side, thumbs digging into his hip bones. “Yeah,” he breathed.

“Me too,” he admitted, his blood burning with anticipation as Levi’s right hand trailed slowly up his side, all the way up to his neck. Long fingers wrapped around his nape, pulling him down into a kiss that was tinged with desperation, hungry lips pressing against his own with a fervor that stole Eren’s breath away.

Eren gasped into his mouth as he responded in kind, fingers digging roughly into Levi’s scalp and skin as he pushed Levi up against the wall, his hard body flush against his own. The growing erection trapped inside of his jeans pressed against Levi’s hip bone and a low groan escaped his throat as he flicked his tongue inside Levi’s mouth. Their tongues moved together in a familiar dance that set fire to Eren’s veins, a dark need brewing inside his belly, making him want more.

Breaking away, Eren reached for Levi’s collar, roughly pushing his blazer off, letting it drop haphazardly to the floor as he grabbed Levi’s chin, jerking his face to the side so he could run his teeth and tongue along his jaw. A ragged breath escaped Levi’s lips as Eren nipped at his pale skin, his hands pushing up his shirt, trailing over the smooth expanse of his stomach and chest. The small noise wasn’t enough for Eren and he desperately wanted to hear Levi beg for it.

“What can I do for a better grade, Dr. Ackerman?” Eren murmured, smirking against his neck, his tongue flicking out to suck right beneath his ear. Depending on his mood, sometimes Levi would allow the roleplay, other times shutting it down before it could ever get started. Eren secretly hoped that he’d go along with it this time. Even if it was a little silly, the thought of fucking his sexy professor in his own office was all too enticing to pass up.

Levi moaned, his head falling back against the wall, exposing more of his beautifully long neck for Eren to lavish.

“There’s got to be something I can do for you,” Eren whispered, his tongue teasing the shell of his ear.

Levi shivered against him, his fingers digging roughly into the back of Eren’s neck. “Blow me.”

Eren pulled back and hummed, meeting Levi’s hooded gaze with a small smile. He grabbed Levi by the arm, pushing his chair out of the way as he pulled him over to his desk, forcing him to sit down on the edge of it. Eren loved getting to do this for Levi. Loved being able to make him feel good. Loved getting to see him drop his carefully composed mask and enjoy himself. 

Getting down on his knees, he unbuckled Levi’s belt, undoing his slacks as Levi’s fingers intertwined into Eren’s tied back hair. Eren licked his lips in anticipation, pulling the fabric down until Levi’s throbbing cock was set free. He took him into his hand and Levi’s grip tightened in his hair, a sharp pang firing down his spine right into his own cock. The pressure building in his length was uncomfortable, and he wanted nothing more to free himself from the confines of his clothes, but Levi needed to be tended to first. His own pleasures could wait.

Going slow at first, Eren ran his hand up Levi’s cock, thumbing the precum pooling at his tip down the side of his length. Levi watched him, lips parted, chest heaving with uneven breaths as Eren pumped him once and then twice.

There was desire etched into his hooded grey eyes and a look of impatience furrowed Levi’s brow. Eren knew he wanted more, wanted to feel his warm, wet mouth surrounding his cock. But he enjoyed teasing him— enjoyed seeing his self control shatter.

“Eren,” Levi groaned, pulling Eren’s face closer to his cock. The sound of his name on his lips made his bones go soft, his own restraint wavering. 

Giving in, his hand slid down to the base and he pressed his tongue flat on the underside of his length, dragging it slowly all the way to his tip before closing his lips around his cock. A sharp hiss resonated from above him and Levi’s whole body tensed as Eren swirled his tongue up and around his length.

Eren hummed with approval as Levi’s cock swelled inside of his mouth, the salty taste of his precum drowning out his taste buds. Looking up through his lashes, he was met with grey eyes blown so wide that Eren was sure he would lose himself in them— the sight of Levi above him too much to handle. Levi bit his lip as he peered down at Eren, appearing as if he was trying to keep a moan locked behind his teeth. Emboldened by the desire to unlock that sultry sound from its cage, Eren took him deeper, his tongue leaving behind a fresh trail of spit as he bobbed up and down on him. 

“Shit,” Levi hissed, his fingers tightening into Eren’s hair, pulling on his loosened bun. It wasn’t quite the sound he was looking for, but pride swelled his chest nonetheless. Wanting more, Eren squeezed his base, spreading his spit around with his hand as his tongue teased the tip of his cock.

Suddenly, a shrill ring broke through the moment, making them both jump. The harsh ringing of his office phone reminding Eren that they were still at the school and Levi was supposed to be working.

“Goddamnit,” Levi groaned, letting his hands fall from Eren’s hair.

Reluctantly, Eren pulled away, wiping his mouth of the excess spit that had accumulated on his lips. The taste of Levi lingered on his tongue and his own erection pressed uncomfortably against his thigh. The damn thing was becoming impossible to ignore. If they had to stop because of this, he was sure he was going to die from sexual frustration.

The phone just kept ringing and ringing, the noise piercing against the quietness of their breathing. Finally, Levi reached for the phone, hesitating a moment before he picked it up with a harsh: “What?”

Eren couldn’t hear what was being said, but he could hear the voice of a woman on the other side of the phone and he assumed it was the secretary that he had passed on his way in. She was rambling on and on, Levi listening quietly with growing annoyance. Eren was becoming impatient himself, wanting desperately to continue what they had started.

“I’m busy right now,” Levi said, his voice surprisingly even despite the quick rise and fall of his breath. 

Eren wondered if he could change that.

Feeling bold, Eren reached for Levi’s cock, wrapping his fingers around his length once again. Levi turned to him, a glare in his eyes that said  _ don’t do it _ . But Eren just smirked, flicking his tongue up his length before swallowing him up. Eren peered up at Levi, slowly blinking at him as he slackened his jaw, relaxing his throat, taking his whole length deep into his mouth.

Levi’s eyes widened and his jaw muscles clenched as he undoubtedly tried to hold back the moan that was threatening to escape. The woman on the other end of the phone call was still rambling, going on about who knows what. But Eren didn’t care. He was having too much fun messing with Levi.

“Yeah,” Levi rasped, his voice strained and breathless. He cleared his throat, squeezing his eyes shut as Eren’s free hand snuck inside his pants, trailing over his bare backside.

“Tell him she can— ah” Levi gasped as Eren squeezed his ass, his finger slipping close to his entrance. A scowl deepend his brow and he tried to push Eren off of him but he gripped him harder, more determined than ever to see him lose his composure.

“I’m fine,” Levi said, squirming underneath Eren. Seeing how much Levi was falling apart from just his mouth had Eren’s heart swelling inside of his chest, his blood burning with want. He knew it was kind of mean to do this to Levi, but he was having too much fun with it, seeing him try to keep his composure when he was silently falling apart inside was far too satisfying. 

He pulled back slowly on his length again, only to take it all back inside of his mouth once more, making Levi groan as he threw his hand over the phone receiver. He looked down at Eren with a look that said he was going to kick his ass but all Eren could do was smirk around the cock in his mouth.

“Just tell her she can come by at three,” Levi managed to get out, dropping his hand onto Eren’s shoulder, his nails digging violently into his skin. Eren continued to work his tongue and mouth and hand over Levi’s cock, watching his face fall apart as he tried to finish his phone call. “Yeah… yeah… Yeah, okay Petra… I gotta go.” And then he hung up the phone, slamming it into the receiver, eyes dead set on Eren.

“I should punish you for that, brat,” Levi hissed, grabbing Eren’s head with both hands and pushing him back until he was sitting back on his heels, his cock slipping from his mouth.

Eren licked his lips, completely unphased by Levi’s brazen tone. If anything, the harsh glare in his eye paired with the hard press of his fingers into his scalp made his cock ache— his blood boiling beneath his skin. He knew Levi got off on power play, even if he would never outright admit it, the way he commanded respect in the bedroom a telltale sign of his kink. Even though Eren also liked to have control, he didn’t mind it one bit when Levi took charge. In fact, he got off on it too. Being with a strong man like Levi that exuded power while also being vulnerable to only Eren got him more excited than he cared to admit. 

“Sorry,” Eren murmured, arching his neck back as Levi towered over him, his finger trailing up Levi’s slender leg and around to his backside. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

Levi scoffed, letting go of Eren’s head, sitting back on the desk. “Finish the job,” he said, gesturing to his wet cock.

“But—” Eren started to say but was quickly cut off when Levi grabbed the back of his head again with one hand and his cock with the other, forcing Eren to take his length into his mouth.

“No buts. You wanted to suck my cock so badly just a moment ago, didn’t you?” Levi murmured, brushing some of the loose strands that had fallen from Eren’s bun out of his face while he held his head firmly in place. “Now do as you’re told.”

Eren peered up at him, nodding as his hand cradled the base of Levi’s cock, his mouth bobbing up and down on his length as his tongue trailed slowly over his soft skin. Levi groaned, holding Eren’s head as he began to jerk his hips into him. 

The movement caught him off guard and Levi’s length pressed too far into his throat, making him gag, eyes watering at the sudden intrusion. A dark look shadowed Levi’s eyes, lips parting as his long fingers reached out to wipe a rogue tear that pooled at the corner of Eren’s eye, the gentle touch making his heart stutter in his chest. Even when he was forceful, he was always tender, his reverent touches speaking to how much he cared.

Fingers brushing delicately across his cheek, Levi pushed up from the desk, positioning himself so he could fuck Eren’s mouth without restraint. His fingers pressed harshly into his skin and he threw his head back with a moan, that low and beautiful sound-making Eren's cock throb with a building need. Wanting to relieve some of the pressure, he reached for the bulge in his pants, rubbing his palm against it, groaning around Levi’s cock as heat spread throughout his core. Even the slightest friction felt so fucking good.

“I didn’t say you could touch yourself,” Levi said, kicking away Eren’s hand. Eren whined in protest, the overwhelming need for release making his skin feel too tight and his chest felt small.

Despite Levi’s harsh hold on Eren’s head, his grip loosened when he tried to pull away. “Please Levi,” he begged, hating how desperate he sounded. Ironic how quickly the tables had turned. Eren had wanted so badly to get Levi to beg for him, but now he was the one on his knees, begging for Levi to let him fuck him.

“No, this is your punishment for being a little shit,” Levi said. And despite the harshness of his words, there was an unmistakably fond look in his eyes as he looked down at Eren. They weren’t hard or icy like they would be if he was actually upset. Instead they were a tender grey, soft like fog in the early morning. It made Eren’s skin flush with warmth.

“Please, I need you,” Eren practically whispered, his chest heaving as he gasped for breath.

Levi hummed, nodding his head in understanding. “You can have me,” he practically whispered, the earlier harshness of his voice gone. He reached for Eren’s arms, pulling him up onto his feet, stealing his lips into a soft kiss. As their lips parted against each other, tongues meeting halfway in a caress, Levi pushed up his shirt, needy fingers pressing tenderly into his flesh as Eren melted into his touch. 

And just like that, the act was over.

Levi always knew just what Eren needed. It was one of the many things he loved about him. Somehow, he just understood him better than most, always knowing what to do or say at any given moment. Thankfully, Levi could sense that Eren was wound too tight, knew that he needed to have some kind of release from the blinding pressure in his cock. 

“Did you bring the stuff?” Levi asked as he broke their kiss, his warm breath fanning Eren’s wet lips.

“Yeah,” he huffed. He let go of Levi, kneeling down by his backpack, searching for the bottle of lube and the condom he had packed for this very moment. 

“I hate to rush this but I don’t have a lot of time,” Levi said as Eren pulled out the bottle and condom, placing them down on the desk. “I’ve got a student coming by at three.”

Eren frowned at that, wanting nothing more than to be able to take his time with Levi, to savor every touch and moment together. He hated being rushed, especially because it was for another student. It irked him knowing that Levi was going to be alone with someone else so soon after their intimate moment. Call him jealous, or even crazy, but he didn’t like the thought of that.

“Another student, huh?” Eren asked, stepping towards Levi with a raised brow, a wave of possessiveness washing over him. “You’re gonna let another student get between this, between us?”

Levi scoffed. “I have a job to do.”

“Yeah you do,” he said, grabbing Levi by the arms, turning him and pressing him up against the desk so that his backside was pressing into Eren’s erection. “You’re mine, it’s your job to please  _ me _ , not some other fucking student.” He pushed Levi face down into the desk and pulled his slacks down, exposing his round ass for Eren to see. Reaching out, he gave it a firm slap, allowing his palm to brush gently over the reddening skin.

“Eren,” Levi breathed as he pushed his ass back into Eren’s hand. The sound of his name spilling from his mouth was so sweet on his ears. Knowing that Levi wanted this just as much as he did made his cock twitch in his pants and he desperately needed to be set free.

He quickly undid his jeans, pushing them down enough to allow his cock to spring out. He sighed in relief, knowing he would be getting his release soon enough, though the wait was starting to become unbearable. 

Eren reached for the bottle of lube, flicking the cap open, slicking up his fingers with the slippery solution. Setting the bottle back on the desk, his other hand squeezed Levi’s cheek, pulling it to the side to reveal his tight asshole. Eren’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of it. He wanted so badly to just ram his cock into him, to feel his tight little body swallowing up his length. But he knew he needed to have some restraint, knew he needed to take care of Levi, to properly prepare him first. 

Taking one of his slicked up fingers, he traced the outline of his pink hole as Levi pushed back into his touch. Slowly, he pressed his finger inside of him, the puckered hole clenching around him at the sudden intrusion. Eren smirked to himself, pulling back slightly only to push in deeper, watching with satisfaction as Levi tensed beneath him, clearly trying to hold himself back. Eren’s heart fluttered in his chest, loving the way that Levi so desperately needed him. The sight of Levi’s pleasure making Eren’s own cock throb with want. 

Taking himself into his own hand, a soft moan left his lips at the delicious friction, and he slipped another finger inside of Levi, wanting so badly to hurry things along.

Levi hummed, turning his head to look at Eren. “Are you touching yourself?”

“Yeah,” Eren breathed, stroking himself in tandem as he fingered Levi’s hole. “You look so fucking good bent over for me.”

Levi bit his lip as he looked over his shoulder, a pink flush staining his cheeks. “Shit,” Levi gasped, his head bowing against the desk as Eren’s fingers pressed into his prostate. “God, Eren, I want you.”

“Yeah?” Eren cooed, dropping his throbbing cock, running his hand over Levi’s back as he slid another finger inside of him, stretching him open even further. “How bad do you want it?”

“So fucking bad,” he groaned as Eren pushed into his sweet spot again, Levi’s whole body quivering with pleasure as he tried to contain his cries.

“Bad enough to forget about my punishment?”

“Yes,” he hissed. 

Eren hummed, fingers digging into Levi’s soft skin. “Bad enough to beg for it?”

“God, yes. Please, fuck me already, Eren.”

Eren leaned over him, his chest pressing into Levi’s back as he grabbed his chin, pulling him back so Levi was forced to look at him. “I wanna make you look so fucked. Everyone will know that you’re mine when I'm done with you.”

A ragged breath stuttered from Levi’s parted lips, his half-lidded eyes fluttering at Eren’s haughty words. The look on his face was so salacious that Eren couldn’t stop himself from crushing his lips against Levi's, his teeth biting on his lower lip as he groaned into his mouth. 

“Please, Eren,” Levi breathed.

Unable to resist his pleas any longer, Eren straightened, grabbing the condom and ripping it from the package. A dark desire brewed inside his core, overwhelming him as his own cock ached with desperate need. Fingers shaking with anticipation, Eren slid the condom over his throbbing length, slicking it up with plenty of lubricant. Normally, they didn’t bother using condoms, having been together for so long they didn’t have to worry about protection anymore. But in moments like these, it made the clean-up a lot easier and he wanted to make sure Levi wasn’t uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Lining himself up with Levi's entrance, he spread his cheeks out and slowly pressed into him. A sweet pressure engulfed his cock, heat spreading through his core as he lost himself inside of Levi’s tight body. Trying to keep his composure, Eren dug his fingers into Levi’s hips, harshly indenting his skin as he held on with everything he had.

Once his cock was buried deep inside of Levi, Eren stood still, afraid that if he moved he might come prematurely. He was wound so tightly that his skin felt too small like he was going to burst at any moment. Taking a deep breath, he tried to hold it all in as Levi began to rut against him. He clenched his jaw, watching in complete awe as his length disappeared inside of Levi’s body again and again.

“Fuck you feel so good,” he hissed quietly, hands gripping Levi’s hips, holding him still as he wordlessly told him to slow down. If Levi kept trying to rush things, he wasn’t going to last. 

Levi groaned in protest, his forehead resting against the desk as his body shook underneath him. “Please, Eren. Get on with it already.”

“So needy,” Eren chuckled, flicking his hips forward into Levi’s ass, smirking to himself as he groaned into his hand, clearly trying to muffle his cries. “I guess if it’s what you need, I won’t deny you.”

He thrusted into Levi again, his cock getting lost in the tight warmth of his body as he slowly pushed in and out. The binding pressure building in his cock spread out over his skin, making him burn with lust, his veins glowing with a needy desire for release. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he quickened his pace, slamming into Levi’s ass until he was pressed harshly against the desk.

Levi was barely able to hold himself up as Eren pounded into him, his head thrown back in bliss as a throaty moan escaped his parted lips. All too pleased with himself, Eren smirked, angling himself as he searched for Levi’s prostate. The need to see Levi unravel underneath him becoming too much, driving him to thrust faster still. Eren knew that Levi wouldn’t be able to hold back his cries the moment that he found it, so he leaned over him, pressing himself against his back as his fingers brushed over his jaw before clamping his hand over his mouth. 

The second he hit his sweet spot, he knew. Levi’s entire body shook, his hands clenching around the edge of the desk as his muffled cries vibrated against Eren’s palm. “Is this what you needed?” Eren whispered, his tongue teasing the shell of Levi’s ear.

He nodded, unable to speak with Eren’s hand pressing hard against his mouth. He continued to pound into his ass, relishing in the muffled moans vibrating against his hand. Everything from the way Levi looked, to the way he sounded, to the way his body felt wrapped around Eren’s cock was just too good to handle. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to his release, could feel his nerves catching fire as delicious heat engulfed his cock.

“I’m so close,” Eren breathed, pressing his forehead against the back of Levi’s head, his hair sticking to his damp forehead.

Levi nodded, indicating that he was too. 

Eren smiled against his neck, his lips pressing rough kisses down his skin, his teeth sinking into the crook of his shoulder, muffling his own cries as his body tensed. His cock throbbed with each hasty thrust, head swimming with bliss as the pressure in his core became unbearable, filling him up to the point of bursting.

With a muffled moan, teeth biting harshly into Levi’s soft flesh, he slammed into Levi’s ass, the blinding pressure in his cock finally spilling out inside of Levi. Every nerve in his body was set aflame and he felt drunk on the bliss coursing through his veins, his limbs tingling as his cock twitched inside of Levi’s tight warmth.

Levi pressed back against him, freeing his cock from being trapped against his desk and Eren quickly straightened out, grabbing his length into his hand. With the desperate need to see Levi come undone, he desperately pumped his cock as he continued to thrust inside of him. His asshole clenched around him in response, cock throbbing in Eren’s hand. It was becoming too much, everything too sensitive in the aftermath of his orgasm. It was as if he was drowning in the overwhelming sensation of his bliss.

After several hasty pumps of his cock, Levi cried out into Eren’s hand, the sound muffled and so damn enticing as his body quivered and gave out against the desk. Levi’s cock twitched as hot cum spilled into Eren’s hand, his entire body jerking as Eren pumped him completely dry, pulling those sweet sounds of bliss from Levi’s lips.

Eren pressed his forehead against Levi’s shoulder as he tried to catch his breath, his bones soft as he came down from his high. He wished he could stay like that, pressed against his lover, basking in the afterglow of their bliss. But he knew Levi needed to go back to work, knew that life had to go on outside of those four walls.

For a quiet moment, there was only the sound of their ragged breaths filling the room, the soft sound of Eren pressing gentle kisses to Levi’s neck, the low hum of his voice as he nuzzled against Eren.

“Stay there, I’ll clean you up,” Eren murmured, his hands trailing delicately across Levi’s back as he straightened out, finally pulling out of Levi.

“I don’t know if I could move if I even wanted to,” Levi said, resting his forehead against his arm as he relaxed against the desk.

Eren snorted, as he wiped the cum off his hand with a tissue. “You look wrecked,” he said, peering at him from the corner of his eye. A dark pink flush stained his cheeks and his lips were red and swollen from their kissing. His dark hair was a mess, long strands sticking up from where Eren had run his hands through it.

“Mission accomplished, huh?”

“Yeah,” Eren smirked, pulling the condom off and wrapping it up in a tissue before tossing it in the bin. He took another tissue from the box on Levi’s desk and gently rubbed it over his hole, wiping away the excess lubricant that had been smeared over his ass.

Once he was done cleaning him up, he pressed a soft kiss on either side of his cheeks, giving his hip a quick squeeze. “Done.”

Levi straightened up with a groan, pulling on his pants and straightening out his wrinkled shirt. Picking up the discarded blazer, he slipped it on and frowned. “How obvious is it that we fucked?”

“Extremely,” Eren said, trying to hold back his laugh as he reached out to fix Levi’s hair, fingers gently brushing it down.

Levi hummed, grey eyes going soft as he peered up at Eren, his fingers caressing the outside of his wrist. “You look pretty fucked yourself.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah,” he smirked.

“What time is it?” Eren asked, searching for a clock.

“2:45. You have a couple of minutes to compose yourself.”

“Kicking me out, huh?”

Levi scoffed. “I have a meeting.”

“But what’s more important, me or another student?”

“Come on, Eren. Don’t be like that. You know you’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

Eren smiled, pressing a kiss onto Levi’s forehead. “Yeah, but I like getting you to say it.”

“Mmm.” Levi leaned into Eren, hiding his face into the crook of his neck, his arms wrapping around his waist. “Think anyone heard us?”

“Probably. You’re loud as fuck,” Eren said, nuzzling his face into Levi’s hair as his hands rested over his hips. 

Levi snorted, shaking his head against Eren’s chest. “You’ve never complained about it before.”

“Uhh, duh. It’s cause I like it.”

He pulled back, looking up at Eren, eyes crinkling as his lips curved into a half-smile. “You should probably fix your hair before you leave.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Little bit.”

Eren let go of Levi, running his hands through his completely disheveled hair, pulling the hair tie out. Levi quietly watched him as he ran his fingers through his hair, straightening out the mess that had become of his bun, gathering it all up again, neatly tying off.

“Better?” 

“Much,” Levi nodded, reaching out and brushing a strand of hair back that was too short to be pulled back.

Eren looked over at the clock, frowning when he realized he needed to leave. At least he’d be able to see Levi at home. “See you later?”

“Yeah,” Levi said, sitting down at his desk with the slightest grimace, the look making Eren’s chest flutter with satisfaction. At least Levi would be thinking about him the rest of his work day. “I’ll grab dinner on the way home. Chinese sound good?”

“Fuck yes,” Eren beamed, grabbing his backpack and heading for the door, his hand lingering on the handle as he looked at Levi one more time. There was still a pink tinge to his cheeks, his clothes wrinkled from where his hands had bunched up the fabric, lips bruised and all too kissable. It gave him such satisfaction knowing that  _ he _ had done that to him, and no one else.

Even after all these years, he still had it bad for Levi.

“Good,” Levi smirked. “See you, Eren.”

Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, he left the door cracked as he went into the hallway. He kept his head down as he left, hoping nobody would notice him leaving Levi’s office. There were several people in the department that knew Levi was dating someone that attended the University, but not everyone knew and Levi wanted to keep it that way. Not everyone on the board approved of that kind of thing and he didn’t want to make things difficult for Levi just because he had wanted to desperately fuck him in his office during school hours. 

But nobody seemed to notice him except for another student that was waiting in the lobby. Eren went for the door, but their eyes met momentarily, cool blue eyes meeting his own.

“Eren, right?” Ymir said, leaning back in her seat as she eyed him up and down.

He froze, hand lingering on the door handle, watching Ymir cross her legs as a crooked smile curved her plump lips. 

“Did you decide you want to live a little?” she asked, a knowing look flashing across her eyes.

Eren exhaled sharply through his nose, looking away, his gaze landing on the preoccupied receptionist behind the desk. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” she hummed, waving her boot-clad foot in the air. “I just think it’s curious that you don’t seem to care about your classes, yet you're visiting with a professor?”

“I have my reasons,” he huffed, narrowing his eyes at her. What was she trying to get at? Did she know something?

“Hmm. Maybe I was wrong about you,” Ymir murmured, tilting her head to the side, her blonde hair falling like a curtain around her face. She stood up quickly, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder as she strolled up to him with a confidence that would put a model to shame. Despite her short stature, she held her head high, eyes gleaming up at him with an emotion Eren couldn’t quite get a read on. “There’s a party tonight on campus. You should come.”

“Oh, really?” Eren asked, feigning interest. Ever since he and Levi started dating, he had lost interest in partying. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy letting loose and drinking with his friends, but he much preferred to stay in with Levi, snuggling on the couch and playing video games or watching TV together. He hadn’t really been to a party since his freshman year. But he didn’t want Ymir to think he was lame. “Yeah, I might be able to make it,” he lied.

Ymir looked at him, incredulous. “Or maybe I was right about you after all,” she scoffed. “You’re afraid to live, aren’t you?”

Eren scowled, her assumption making his blood burn. “I’m not.” He wasn’t afraid of anything.

“Then I’ll see you tonight,” she said, waving at him with a coy smile as she turned down the hallway he had come from.

Eren watched after her, standing dumbstruck once again as she walked away. Who was this woman? Confident and brash, cool yet passionate. Everything about her had Eren’s curiosity standing on edge. And yet he was frustrated by her taunt, angry that she would assume that he was afraid to live. He wasn’t afraid to live. He’d just fucked his boyfriend in his office at work for crying out loud. As far as he was concerned, he was living just fine.

But even as he left the lobby, pushing out into the early autumn afternoon, a cool breeze whipping around his face, her words burned in his mind, taunting him over and over again. It’s not that he was afraid to live, he was just comfortable with the life he was living. That’s what he told himself as he dove back to his white brick house with a manicured lawn and porch. He could let loose when he wanted to, his domestic life with Levi didn’t define who he was as a person. 

And as he stepped inside the living room that always smelled like Pine-Sol, tossing his keys into the same bowl he put them in every day, sliding his shoes off and tucking them onto the neatly organized shoe rack, he decided he would prove Ymir wrong. He wasn’t boring and he wasn’t afraid to live. He’d call up his friends, go to that stupid party, and have the time of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to his first party

“I’m going out tonight,” Eren said casually over the sound of running water as he put leftover Chinese containers into the fridge.

“Oh?” Levi looked up from the sink, a question on his brow. “Where are you going?”

Eren turned to look at his boyfriend, nerves fluttering in his stomach. He’d been unsure how Levi was going to react to his declaration, withholding his plans for the entirety of dinner. It was rare for him to go out on a moment’s notice, most of his outings were planned hours, if not days, in advance and he thought his spontaneity might bother Levi. 

It came to no surprise that Levi seemed surprised, if not a little miffed. His reaction would have irked Eren, but ever since he ran into Ymir, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what she’d said. Her words were dominating his thoughts and an undeniable need to go out and prove himself festered under his skin.

“I’m going to a party.”

“You’re going to a party,” Levi repeated, frowning as he turned off the water, drying his hands on a towel. “Who are you going with?”

“The usual group,” he shrugged, failing to mention that some random girl from school had invited him. Not that he thought Levi would have a problem with that, he just felt like he might question his reasoning and he didn’t want to explain himself.

“You’ll be out late then?”

“Yeah, you don’t have to wait up for me.”

Levi turned to him at that, placing his hands on Eren’s hips, peering up at him as he pulled him closer. “Call me if you need to be picked up?”

“You’re not upset?” Eren asked, uncertainty settling into his gut. It’s not that he’d been expecting Levi to be mad, but he certainly didn’t think he’d be so accepting. Eren knew that Levi had gotten into his fair share of trouble in his youth, but he’d always been the responsible one in their relationship, the one guiding Eren to make the right decisions. It was surprising that he wasn’t objecting to the idea of Eren going to a college party with a bunch of his friends on a school night.

“Why would I be?”

“I don’t know,” Eren shrugged. “It’s irresponsible?”

Levi sighed, reaching up to brush back a loose strand of Eren’s hair. “You’re twenty-one years old, Eren. I expect it from you. When I was your age, I did things much worse than going to a party on a Wednesday night. Sometimes I feel like I’m holding you back from being a normal college student.”

“I like staying in with you,” he pouted, leaning into Levi’s touch, his delicate fingers making his skin flush.

“I wonder when you’ll begin to find it boring.”

“Why would you even say that?” Eren bristled, his blood flaring a touch hotter. There wasn’t a day that went by that he felt bored with Levi. Sure, there were times when he would get restless, needing to get out of the house, but as long as Levi was with him, he was happy. “I’m never bored with you.”

“I remember very distinctly you were bitching about being bored the other night when I was grading papers,” Levi said, looking up at him skeptically.

“That’s different. You weren’t paying attention to me.”

“Oh, so as long as I’m constantly paying attention to you, you won’t get bored?” Levi deadpanned.

“Obviously,” Eren smirked. “Should be easy to do, I know I’m irresistible.”

“So irresistible,” Levi said, rolling his eyes, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “Whatever will I do while you’re away?”

“Probably jerk it while thinking of me like the old pervert that you are,” he said, leaning in to steal that smirk away from Levi’s lips. But he was met with a hand to his face, pushing him back. Eren whined in protest.

“Brat,” Levi hissed, narrowing his gaze at Eren as he turned to continue cleaning up the kitchen. 

That pet name, even when uttered in annoyance, made his heart flutter. Most people when they heard Levi call him that thought it was an insult, but Eren knew better. It was a term of endearment, one Levi used interchangeably with his mood. In this case, he used it in an exasperated way, one that said  _ you’re a little shit but you’re also not wrong _ .

“I’m going to go get ready. You could watch, if you want, get some ammunition for tonight,” Eren winked at Levi who looked back at him with a stony expression.

“I’ve got plenty of  _ ammunition _ already.”

“Suit yourself,” he shrugged, walking past Levi to their bedroom to go get ready for his big night out. 

It’d been so long since he’d done something like this and to say he was nervous was a massive understatement. His hands were clammy with sweat as he chewed at his lip, trying to decide what to wear. Don’t ask him why, but he wanted to look good— make a good impression. It felt imperative that he do so. 

After a long time sifting through the many different options hanging in the closet, he decided on his nicest pair of dark skinny jeans, a white crewneck, a deep green flannel, and his favorite pair of combat boots. When he went to fix his hair, he frowned, hating how flat it sat against his head after he’d been wearing it up all day. A quick shower would fix it.

When he finished, he appraised himself in the mirror, leaving his wet hair straight and loose around his face. He looked casual but well put together, a wave of satisfaction warming his blood. The only time he ever put this much stock into his appearance was when Levi took him on dates, which were getting few and far between with how busy they’ve both been. It felt good to have something to get dressed up for.

The sun had completely set, his bedroom all but dark if not for the light being on. He looked at his phone to check the time and sighed. His nervousness was becoming unbearable as it prickled uncomfortably under his skin. He didn’t want to have to sit and wait around for much longer, glad that Jean was on his way to pick him up. Hopefully being with his friends would help ease the nervous tension making him antsy. If not, he knew a drink or two would do the trick.

Despite the uncomfortable flutter of his stomach, he was looking forward to being a normal college student for just one night.

  
  


Jean pulled up to the curb, throwing the car into park as Eren and Armin pressed their faces against the glass window, looking out at the old victorian frat house with lawn chairs and red solo cups strewn messily across the front lawn. Just out on the front porch alone there were already so many people. They passed cigarettes and blunts around, hands waving animatedly in the air as they drunkenly discussed whatever college kids were supposed to talk about.

It looked like a scene right out of a movie, and it made Eren all the more apprehensive. He was really doing this, wasn’t he? Did he even know how to act like a normal college student anymore? It had been so long.

“Come on guys, you look like a bunch of creeps staring out the window like that,” Jean said, pulling his key out of the ignition and opening up the driver’s side door. Mikasa followed his lead, stepping out of the front seat and circling around the car to Jean’s side where she shyly took his hand.

Eren caught the subtle movement from the corner of his eye and frowned.

They had been dating for a couple of weeks now and it still weirded Eren out to see them be intimate with each other. It’s not like he disapproved of their relationship or anything, but seeing Mikasa acting soft with someone other than himself or Armin made him uncomfortable. Especially because that someone was  _ Jean _ . 

He used to hate Jean, used to get into fights with him at every opportunity. But the horse face managed to weasel his way into his friend group, quickly bonding with both Mikasa and Armin. At their insistence, Eren was forced to swallow up his pride long enough to get to know Jean, to ease the tension within their little group. After several reluctant conversations, he found that he wasn’t all that bad, if not annoying most of the time. There were worse people to deal with and he was decent enough for Mikasa, he supposed. He tried his best to accept their relationship with as little grumbling as possible but some days it was difficult.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go!” Armin chirped, pushing Eren towards the door.

“I’m going, I’m going,” he sighed, pushing the door open and stepping out so Armin could slide out of the car behind him.

The music blaring from the house was so loud he could hear it all the way across the street. Already he was wondering if he made a mistake by coming here tonight. But as soon as Armin grabbed his elbow, eagerly pulling him along, he knew he was being stupid. More of his friends would be inside and it would be just like the good old days before he settled down with Levi— before he stopped going out as much. If anything, it would be refreshing to let loose with them all again.

“What’s wrong, Eren?” Mikasa asked, peering at him from the corner of her eye. Her face was impassive but there was a hint of concern in her steely grey eyes.

He rolled his eyes at her constant worrying, waving her off. “Nothing. There’s just a lot of people here, is all.”

“We can leave if you want.” 

That’s probably what she wanted. She’d never been one for big get-togethers like this. But she always tagged along, quietly sipping her drink while she kept an eye on everyone like she was the mother hen of the group or something. It was fine, as long as she didn’t try and control Eren’s drinking like she used to do when he was a teenager. 

“Leave?” Armin whined, turning around to look at her. “But we just got here.”

“We’re not leaving,” Eren said. He still needed to find Ymir and prove to her that he wasn’t boring.

“Fine,” Mikasa sighed, obviously disappointed. At least she had Jean to cling to in these uncomfortable situations. It used to always be Eren she stuck to, but now that she was busy making googly eyes over her new boyfriend, Eren was actually able to breathe around her. At least Jean was good for  _ something _ .

Jean led the way up the walk and Eren followed, getting blasted by a gust of smoke that smelled like skunk. It swarmed his senses, hanging thick and heavy around his head but the familiar smell didn’t bother him. In fact, he found it oddly calming, the scent reminiscent of his freshman year.

“I wonder if Connie and Sasha are here already,” Eren mused.

“If they are, I’m sure they’re already high,” Mikasa said, waving away the smoke with a quiet little cough. She’d never approved of smoking pot, claiming it turned everyone into a bunch of mindless idiots. At least when it came to Sasha and Connie, she wasn’t too far off.

“Hopefully Sasha doesn’t get kicked out for eating all their food like the last time,” Armin said.

“Wait did that really happen?” Eren asked. It wouldn’t surprise him. Sasha had an appetite like no one else, especially when she was high.

“Yeah, your lame ass missed it. Too busy up Levi’s ass to come out with us, if I remember correctly,” Jean said, a shit eating grin on his face.

Eren whipped around to look at him, jaw clenching. Not only did the look on Jean’s face piss him off, but his comment about Levi made his chest burn with irritation. His friends loved ragging on him, teasing him constantly for practically being married to an old man because he never went out with them anymore. Eren refused to let those childish comments about his relationship slide, even when they claimed they were all in jest. If there was one thing he was defensive over, it was Levi.

“Least I’m getting some, virgin,” Eren quipped.

“Did you forget I’m fucking your sister, Jaeger?”

A sudden rush of heat lit up his blood, fists clenching at his side.  _ Shit _ . How could he forget that annoying little detail? Now the awful image of horse face railing his sister burned into his mind and he wanted to throw up.

“ _ Jean,” _ Mikasa growled, narrowing her gaze at him.

“Keep saying shit like that and I’ll kill you, Kirstein,” Eren growled, taking a step forward, jaw tight as he tried to suppress the biting anger licking at his skin.

“Quit it you guys,” Armin said, rolling his eyes as he pushed the two of them away from each other. “Let’s get a drink and cool down. No reason to fight each other.”

“Not until horse face apologizes for talking shit,” Eren said, pushing Armin aside. He knew Armin was right, that this was not the time and place for a fight, but that didn’t stop the nagging need to wipe that cocky grin off of Jean’s ugly face from taking over.

“Oh sure. Sorry you’re dating an old man that doesn’t go to parties with you,” Jean smirked.

Seeing red, Eren lunged forward, fist pulled back, ready to strike. But just like always, Mikasa was faster, stopping him before his fist could connect. She grabbed him by the waist, pulling him back with arms so strong they felt like they could snap him in half. 

“Eren,” she admonished, her voice low and even.

Eren tensed, peeking over at her. There was a deep scowl etched in her face. 

“Stop it Eren. Jean’s trying to rile you up and you’re letting him.”

“Oi Mikasa, don’t be telling him my secrets,” Jean laughed.

“Tell your boyfriend to stop being a piece of shit,” Eren growled, clenched fists shaking.

“Jean, stop instigating things with Eren,” Mikasa said, settling her steely gaze onto him.

Jean smiled sheepishly at her, rubbing the back of his head. “I’ll try. It’s just fun watching the idiot get all worked up over nothing.”

“Yeah, you’re right, you are nothing,” Eren said, gently pushing Mikasa back as he turned to walk away.

The group of students on the porch were quiet, still against the backdrop of blaring music as they stared at Eren and his group of friends. Eren scowled at them as he passed, not caring that he’d just made an ass out of himself. Jean could get it for all he cared. He hated it whenever he talked shit about Levi. It’s not like he could come out with him even if he wanted to. A college party was the last place he’d be welcomed.

Inside the house, there were swarms of bodies pressed together, red solo cups clenched in hands like it was their lifeline. Music blared above them in the empty space, a heavy bass vibrating through Eren’s chest. The smell of smoke and sweat filled the air, drowning out his senses as he pushed through the warm bodies surrounding him.

Not really sure where he was going, Eren pushed forward, eyes scanning the crowd for something familiar. Young, nameless faces flashed past his vision like a slideshow, nobody sticking out in his mind until he found himself in the kitchen.

“Eren!” a brown haired girl squealed around a mouthful of chips.

“Hey Sasha,” Eren greeted with a smile, her exuberance contagious as always. He walked over to her, searching for Connie. He was always attached to her hip, the two of them inseparable since freshman year. It was difficult imagining one without the other. “Where’s Connie?”

“I think he said he was taking a piss,” she shrugged, eyes glazed as she stuffed another handful of chips in her mouth.

“Not eating the whole kitchen, are you?” Armin asked, a smile in his voice.

“If I don’t, who will?” Sasha hopped down off the counter, wrapping Armin into a quick hug before doing the same to both Mikasa and Jean, both looking uncomfortable with the sudden affection. “Hey guys!”

“You got any more of the good stuff?” Jean asked, wagging his brow as Sasha pulled away.

“Nope! Connie and I smoked it all before we got here. We’ve just been mooching off those chumps on the front porch.”

“They’re so blasted they don’t care if you sneak into the circle,” Connie said with a laugh as he came up behind them, clapping Jean and Eren on the back.

“Nice, I’ll keep that in mind,” Jean said.

“Jean,” Mikasa frowned “No.” 

Eren couldn’t help but smirk, especially when Jean groaned at her admonishing look. It was nice having Mikasa’s overprotectiveness focused on someone other than himself for a change. 

“Drinks!” Armin chirped. “Let’s get some drinks!”

Ever since college, Armin had become much more interested in letting loose, having a good time with his friends. Back in high school, he’d been timid and shy. But starting over in a new town gave him newfound confidence that he didn’t have in his childhood. Being around him nowadays was like following around a ball of sunshine— bright, energetic, and warm.

Armin poured everyone a drink, passing around the red plastic cups to all of their friends.

“Cheers!” He smiled, holding up his cup as everyone joined in, clinking them together with a little cheer.

Eren took a long drink, the sweet mystery liquid burning the back of his throat as he swallowed it down. He shivered as it settled in his stomach, a sticky aftertaste lingering on his tongue. It was far from  _ good _ , but it was strong, and that’s what mattered. Whatever liquor that was in his cup already had his head feeling light and airy.

“I saw a beer pong table set up over in the dining room. We should go play!” Armin said, taking Eren’s arm and dragging him along before he could agree to it. Whenever Armin started drinking, he was impossible to refuse, more determined than Eren was when he was sober. More often than not, he just had to go along with whatever crazy plan Armin came up with.

“Awww. Looks like they just started,” Armin stopped, frowning at the table that had a full set up of cups on it. “We call the next game!”

One of the players looked up at his declaration, their curious gaze landing on Armin and Eren. Eren froze, skin going cold as Ymir’s icy stare pinned him in place, a coy smile curving her lips. He hadn’t been expecting to find her so quickly, but there she was, playing beer pong with students Eren had never seen before.

“Look who decided to show up,” she said, eyes trained on Eren as her opponents attempted to take shots at their cups.

“I told you I’d be here,” Eren said.

“You know her?” Armin asked, looking over at him from the corner of his eye, confusion glinting in those too bright eyes.

“We have a class together,” he explained. And that’s all it was— they were just classmates, nothing more nothing less. But that didn’t explain why Eren felt so drawn to her. It was as if he was caught in her gravitational pull, an unknown force driving him forward. 

Eren mulled over the conversations they shared as he quietly watched her play. Nothing in particular stood out in his mind, each word they spoke had been normal, tedious, even. So why was he so damn interested in getting to know her?

Maybe it was because everytime she scored, her bright blue eyes lit up like wildfire. Eren slowly slipped on his drink, mesmerized with the way she taunted the other team, the way she owned the playing field. And with every drink she took, Eren mirrored her, the dizzying beat of the music floating through the room making his head buzz, his thoughts slurring as the liquor began to settle in the haze of his peripherals. 

The last shot of the game went splashing into its cup and Ymir threw her arms into the air, her cheer drowned out by the pulse of the music. 

“That’s three times in a row. We’re on fire, baby,” Ymir beamed, giving her partner a high five, their hands just barely missing each other in a half hatred slap. With her dark blue eyes glinting in the low light, cheeks flushed from all the drinking, blonde hair disheveled from bouncing around— Eren finally realized what was different about her. She looked  _ alive _ .

“Our turn!” Armin said, pulling Eren to the now empty side of the table, setting up the cups in the customary triangle formation.

“Let’s see if you’re any good at this,” Ymir said, a challenge in her eyes.

Eren scowled, his blood burning, rising up to the taunt. “You’re going down.”

“We’ll see.”

Ymir was the first to toss and the ball flew into the front cup with ease, a taunting smile curling her lip. Armin peered up at Eren, a worried look creasing his brow before a sudden flash of determination swept across his expression. They shared a quick nod, taking the required sip of their drink, the sweet liquor burning all the way down to his stomach, making his veins light up with adrenaline. 

They waited with bated breath as Ymir’s partner took their shot. The ball hit the table, bouncing back to their side and a blurry flash of yellow reached across the table, snatching the ball up before Ymir could get her hands on it.

“Got it!” Armin exclaimed as he pulled back, holding the ball in the air. Eren smiled, unable to resist the excited energy radiating from his friend. It was nice seeing Armin having fun.

“C’mon Armin, time to show off your moves,” Eren said, elbowing him.

Armin nodded, his brow drawing down in concentration as he bounced the ball against the table. It knocked against the rim of the cup, bouncing once before falling into it with a splash. He threw his arms into the air, cheering.

“Wow,” Ymir smirked. “I wasn’t expecting you to make that. You’re better than you look.”

Armin smiled, ignoring the backhanded side of her compliment. “It’s all about angles and trajectory. It’s math, baby!”

She laughed, her hair falling around her face as she reached for the ball in the cup. “Fuck, I’m about to schooled by a nerd, huh?”

“Don’t call him that,” Eren scowled, his hand clenching tightly around the ping pong ball.

Ymir raised a brow at him from across the table. He didn’t care who she was, she wasn’t allowed to call his best friend names. Nobody was.

“It’s fine, Eren. It doesn’t bother me,” Armin said, gently bumping him with his shoulder.

Eren hummed, loosening his grip ever so slightly. There was no reason to get all worked up, Armin’s been called worse— his bullies in high school relentless. If Armin could handle them when he was meek and shy, he could handle Ymir now that he had confidence.

It was Eren’s turn to go, the pressure to not fail suddenly weighing heavy on his shoulders. Armin was weirdly good at beer pong and Eren really didn’t want to let him down. He lined up the ball with the back left cup, letting it fly free, hoping it would land in its intended target. But it just barely missed, the ball dinging off the rim of the cup and bouncing onto the floor.  _ Damnit _ . He needed to step up his game if he had any chance of winning.

Much to Eren’s disappointment, Ymir took the next round, managing to land two shots consecutively in a row.

“I’m heating up,” she smirked, shaking off the wet ball with a flick of her wrist.

“Lucky shot,” Eren muttered, picking up his cup. He frowned at it, not wanting to drink any more of it.

“No luck here. It’s all skill.”

Eren rolled his eyes, throwing back the drink, the bittersweet liquid burning his tongue. He shivered at the fire that trailed all the way down to his stomach.

“What’s the matter, can’t handle your booze?” Ymir snorted, her own words slurring as she spoke.

“I’m not the one slurring.”

“Let’s see if we can change that.”

Ymir and her partner tossed again, both missing by just an inch. “Shit,” she cursed into her drink as Eren sunk a shot into one of their cups, a wave of satisfaction flooding his chest. The game wasn’t over yet, there was still a chance they could win. He would make Ymir finish her drink and wipe that little smirk right off of her face.

The game went back and forth, both teams drinking their fair share of booze. Things were starting to get hot and he tore his flannel off, tying it around his hips, rolling up his sleeves with an exasperated huff.

“Oof, watch out, he’s getting serious,” Ymir teased.

“Yeah cause you’re gonna lose,” Eren shot back.

“If you’re gonna talk shit, you kind of need the skill to back it up.” 

There was only one cup left and it was Ymir’s turn. Blonde eyebrows pulled down in concentration, her tongue sticking out from behind red-stained lips as she lined up her shot. It was quiet except for the constant drumming of the bass underneath their feet as she let it fly, the ball landing perfectly into the last cup standing.

“Yes!” she exclaimed, bright eyes gleaming tauntingly at Eren. 

Eren grabbed his cup with a growl, taking a long drink as he tried to drown out the frustration coiling in his belly. He didn't want to lose— he couldn’t.

“Will he crack under the pressure?” Ymir asked, narrowing her gaze at Eren. It all came down to this last shot, the determining factor if they won or lost. If he made it, they’d be given another round to redeem themselves. If they didn’t, it’d be over.

Eren scowled, watching as Armin lined up his shot, his brow furrowed as he let the ball loose into the cup. It splashed in the water and Armin gave out a little cheer, blue eyes going wide with excitement. 

It was just up to him now. He could do this. 

Lining up his shot, Eren took a deep breath before tossing it, watching with bated breath as it hit the table. His stomach sank as the ball bounced unceremoniously onto the floor.

“Shit,” he hissed, hands clenching at his side.

“Oof, that’s too bad,” Ymir said, that familiar, taunting smirk of hers curving her lips.

“Let’s go again,” Eren challenged. There was no way in hell he was going to leave it at that. He needed to beat her— needed to wipe that annoying smirk off of her face.

“Sorry boys, but I think that’s it for me. I’m all out of my drink,” she said, waving her empty cup in the air. 

“It was a good game!” Armin said, smiling despite the soft hue of disappointment in his eyes. 

Ymir and her partner nodded in agreement and walked away, leaving the other side of the table empty. 

“I’m going to go refill my drink too,” Eren said, his words starting to slur. He took another drink, a burning jolt setting his nerves on fire. Everything was starting to get hazy around the edges of his vision and the thumping of the bass underneath his feet made him feel even dizzier as he moved around the table.

“I’ll go with you,” Armin said, following after Eren as they pushed their way into the kitchen.

Eren didn’t need another drink— the first one more than enough. But he wanted to wash the acrid taste of his loss from his mouth— wanted to numb the sharp pangs of frustration prickling his skin. First Jean had to go and run his mouth and then Ymir had to go and taunt him. If his mood had been sour before, it was downright bitter now.

“Oh! There’s Annie!” Armin exclaimed. “I’m going to go say hi.”

Before Eren could say anything, his friend was gone, disappearing into a sea of bodies he didn’t know or recognize. He groaned to himself, silently wishing he was at home with Levi, snuggled up on the couch while they watched some shitty movie together. That sounded a hell of a lot better than picking fights with Jean and losing to some smug girl he couldn’t get a read on.

And now all of his friends were missing, lost in the swarm of strangers that he had no interest in talking to. Even if he wanted to leave, Jean was nowhere to be found. He remembered what Levi said, and he considered calling him to have him come pick him up. But he didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction of being right about his constant desire to be around his boyfriend. If his friends found out that Levi picked him up early, he would never hear the end of it from Jean.

Eren sighed, pouring himself another drink, tossing it back as the cool liquid burned his throat and stomach. His world spun as the liquor settled into his bloodstream, his skin warming underneath the layers of his clothes. The nameless faces around him were a blur, hazy figures in his peripheral. 

It was becoming increasingly hotter inside the house, the sheer number of people making the air stifling. Eren grabbed his drink and made for the back door, desperately needing some fresh air. 

There were about a dozen people gathered around a swimming pool, colored cups littered the concrete and grass like rainbow glitter strewn across the floor. Eren walked towards the pool, a cloud of cigarette smoke wafting over his head, the ashy scent making his head spin and his eyes water.

“So much for fresh air,” he grumbled to himself as he pushed past the group of people blocking his way.

At the other side of the pool, an empty pool chair called his name. He walked over to it, the clean and cool air clearing the murky haze in his head, easing out the dizziness blurring the edges of his vision.

He sat down, cradling his drink in his lap, pulling out his phone to see if any of his friends had messaged him. But when he unlocked his phone there were no new messages, only the soft, familiar grey eyes that so often consumed his thoughts looking back at him. His heart did a quick little somersault in his chest as he looked down at the picture of Levi he had set as his background. He’d been so reluctant to let Eren take a picture of him, and yet he’d managed to capture Levi with the barest hint of a smile on his lips, a tender look softening his usually hard expression.

For a long moment, Eren sat there alone, simply staring at his phone, his eyes trailing longingly over Levi’s face. Even though he’d only been gone for a couple of hours, he missed him. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but all he wanted to do was rush home, take Levi into his arms and never let him go.

“Your phone must be pretty interesting if you’re going to stare at it like that while you’re at a party like this,” came a familiar voice.

Eren looked up, meeting cool blue eyes peering down at him. “What’s it to you?” he asked, sliding his phone into his pocket.

Ymir shrugged, sitting down next to him on the chair, their shoulders almost touching. She smelled like liquor and cigarettes. “I don’t know. Just curious, I guess. I’m usually pretty good at reading people, and yet I can’t seem to get a good read on you.”

That surprised Eren. Most people liked to say he was an open book, his expressive eyes making him all too easy to read. “What do you mean?”

“It’s like you’re two different people,” she explained, pulling a cigarette box out of her bra. Eren looked at her quizzically but she pressed on anyway. “It’s like one moment you’re this bright burning fire, and the next you’re a dull flame, about to fizzle out.” A cigarette sat between her fingers as she watched Eren from the corner of her eye. She shrugged again, placing it between her lips, lighting it up.

Smoke wafted into his face and he shook his head, trying to clear the haze clouding his brain. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“No?” She crossed her legs and leaned forward as she took a long drag from her cigarette. “Did you want one?” she asked, holding out her pack of Marlboro Reds.

“I’m good.”

“Suit yourself.”

They sat in silence as Ymir balanced between taking a hit of her cigarette and sipping her drink. Eren rubbed his hands against his jeans, uncomfortable in the quietness that surrounded them. Was he supposed to say something— start a conversation? Or was she content sitting in silence, watching others across the pool getting drunker with each drink they took? Either way, he wasn’t sure what to do, so he simply stared up at the stars, basking in the low buzz warming his numb skin as he continued to sip on his drink.

“So what’s your deal, Eren. You trying to fuck me or something?” Ymir said suddenly, flicking her cigarette butt into the pool. 

“What?” Eren sputtered, wiping his chin as he coughed. “No way.” He turned towards her, eyes wide with surprise. Who says something like that? “Hate to break it to you, but you’re not really my type. I’m gay as fuck and I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh?” she perked up, seemingly curious. “Why isn’t he here with you tonight?”

“This isn’t really his scene.” Not to mention he couldn’t show his face here even if he wanted to. If the administration found out, he’d be fired on the spot.

“Is that why you were on your phone?”

“Um yeah, I guess,” he shrugged. He didn’t really want to admit that he had just been sitting there staring at a picture of his boyfriend while he should’ve been off having a good time.

“Does he not like that you’re here or something?”

Eren’s skin prickled at that, a scowl furrowing his brow. “No. But even if that were the case, I wouldn’t let that dictate how I live,” he said, not really sure if he was being truthful or not. Surely if Levi didn’t want him going out, he’d consider his feelings before rushing ahead with his plans. But on the other side of it, he hated the idea of being told what to do. If he wanted to go to a party, he would, whether Levi approved or not.

“Good,” Ymir hummed, a soft smile on his lips. For whatever reason, her approval made Eren’s chest flutter and his scowl turned up into an uneven smile. “Nobody should control how you want to live.”

Eren nodded in agreement. If there was one thing that Eren has always wanted in life, it was to be free. It’s why he moved to Trost with his friends after graduation. Living under the suffocating and controlling hand of his father had been unbearable, so determined to force Eren down a path he never wanted for himself. The moment that he turned eighteen, he decided he would leave, create his own life for himself away from his father. As much as he missed his mother, the move had been the best thing for him.

“Hey, you should give me your phone number,” Ymir said as he pulled out her cellphone.

“Yeah, sure,” Eren said, doing the same.

The moment he unlocked his phone, Ymir was staring at his screen, eyes wide. “Oh my god,” she breathed. “Is that your boyfriend?”

_ Fuck _ . Eren stiffened, quickly locking his phone. He messed up. “Um, yeah.”

“Holy shit, that’s my professor for British literature. I thought something was up when I visited him during office hours yesterday. You guys  _ fucked _ didn’t you?” she gushed, her eyes lighting up like the stars overhead.

“You can’t say anything,” Eren pleaded, holding his hands up as he desperately clutched at his phone. “He can’t get fired because I’m a careless shithead.”

“What?” Ymir scoffed. “Why would I say anything? Honestly, I’m impressed— way to work the system by getting yourself an older man to take care of you while you get to do whatever the fuck you want. I respect it.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m not working the system.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to help you sleep at night buddy,” she laughed. “But I bet you don’t pay for a single thing. Hell, I bet you even call him  _ daddy _ .”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Eren growled, his panic swirling into anger, the blurred edges of his mind churning up his emotions like a whirlwind. He felt too hot, his skin prickling sharply. He took a long sip of his drink, trying to douse the growing flame in his chest but it only made it burn brighter.

“See,” Ymir said, hopping up in her seat, excitedly clapping her hands together. “That’s the fire I was talking about.”

Eren sighed heavily, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to get his bearing. The alcohol thrumming through his veins was making it hard to see straight, let alone distinguish one emotion from the other. “What is it with people always trying to rile me up?” he muttered, more to himself than to Ymir.

“Maybe they think your passion is inspiring.”

He opened his eyes, looking down at Ymir, confusion stifling the growing heat inside of his chest. “Is that what you think?”

“Perhaps,” she shrugged, prying Eren’s phone out of his hand. Too drunk to put up a fight, he let her, watching as she entered her phone number into his contacts. She passed his phone back and stood, looking down at Eren with a smirk, a cool indifference in her eyes. “They’re having another party this weekend. You should come. Maybe we can have that rematch.”

“You’re on,” Eren said, clutching his phone in his lap as he stared back up at her.

Her smirk turned into a smile and she nodded before turning away and disappearing into the flood of people, leaving Eren alone by the pool.

What had he just gotten himself into? He hardly wanted to be at this party tonight and now he was agreeing to go out  _ again _ in a couple of days? And yet he hadn’t been able to say no to the challenging look in her eyes— the taunt in her voice too strong to ignore. It’s like she was playing on his interests to draw him in.

What was her game?

Eren sighed, picking himself up off the pool chair, tucking his phone back into his pocket. Whatever her intentions, Eren knew he wouldn’t be able to simply ignore her, the weight of her phone number sitting heavy against his thigh. They were connected now in a way that didn’t really make sense, like there was a string threading them together. While it was invisible to the eye, Eren could sense it, leading him down a path that he’d never been down before. It wrapped around him tightly, pulling him forward against his will. Having no other choice but to follow, he gave in, wanting to see where it led.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi worries and Eren comes home drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Levi's pov! I do plan to write from both povs throughout the story so we can see how Eren's downfall affects both characters and the relationship.
> 
> Plus I just really prefer writing from Levi’s pov if I'm being honest.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The house was too quiet without Eren.

Every creak of the hardwood floors—every whistle of the wind through the crack in the window—was too loud in the empty space of Levi’s living room. He sat alone in his chair, mindlessly flipping through one of the novels he was teaching for his British literature class, but his mind was elsewhere, unable to focus on the words on the page.

Eren had been getting restless as of late, complaining more than usual about being bored whenever they spent their evenings coexisting. Sometimes they watched movies together, wrapped up in each other’s arms on the couch—other times working independently, Eren laying back on the couch with his face in his phone, while Levi worked on his laptop in his chair. To Levi, it was peaceful, just having Eren nearby, knowing that if he looked up, he would be there without fail.

But whenever Levi looked over to where Eren usually was, there was just empty space.

Sighing, Levi reached for his phone, checking the time. It was still relatively early—too early to go to bed and he still had so much he needed to do before his next lecture in the morning. But his mind was preoccupied, focused on shining green eyes and chestnut hair, worry festering under the surface of his skin. 

A part of him knew there was no reason to worry. Eren was allowed to go out and have fun with his friends, but the spontaneity of his plans had been so off-putting that Levi couldn’t help but wonder if something was wrong. Perhaps he was becoming too complacent in his relationship, not paying enough attention to Eren and his needs. The thought that Eren might be trying to find ways to satisfy those needs elsewhere made Levi’s stomach clench and his hands clammy.

Levi unlocked his phone, clicking over into his contacts, opening a text thread with Erwin and Hange. As much as he needed to get his work done, the uncertainty coiling in his gut was making him restless and he needed something to take his mind off of Eren. Typing up a quick message, Levi’s thumb hovered over the send button before giving in and pressing it.

 **[Levi]** Come over

For a long moment, he stared at his phone, chewing at his lower lip. What if Eren _was_ getting bored of him? Even if he had adamantly denied it, the worry was still there, making his skin prickle as he sat alone in the cold room. 

Levi’s phone vibrated in his hand and he quickly pulled open the awaiting message.

 **[Hange]** WHAAAAT! Levi is asking us to come over?? Am I dreaming?

 **[Erwin]** This is unexpected, Levi. Is everything okay?

 **[Levi]** Yeah I just have an unopened bottle of vintage cabernet that I don’t want to drink by myself

 **[Hange]** Where’s Eren??

 **[Levi]** At a party with his friends

 **[Hange]** Oh :( Well… I won’t say no to free wine!

 **[Erwin]** I’ll be there as soon as I finish up dinner with Mike

Levi sighed, setting his phone on the end table, peeking at it periodically to see if Eren had messaged him at all. Every time he checked, there was nothing new, the minutes passing by slowly as he waited for his friends to arrive. 

Normally, Levi didn’t mind the solitude, enjoying the peacefulness of sitting quietly in the comfort of his own home. But without Eren’s warm presence to keep him grounded, it felt far too cold and stifling within the confines of his living room and he desperately wanted to fill the space with life.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for Hange to arrive. They only lived a couple of blocks down the street, right next to the University. The soft knock on his front door pulled him from his thoughts and he stood, padding over to the door, the hardwood floors cold under his feet. Levi pulled the door open and Hange stood on the other side, grinning as they held up two different bags, one white and plastic and the other brown, covered in grease stains.

“What’s that?” Levi asked, narrowing his gaze at the items in their hands, not even bothering to say hello.

“Burgers and ice cream! I didn’t know which one would cheer you up more so I got both,” they said, pushing past Levi into the living room.

Levi stiffened, looking down at Hange’s dirty boots with a frown. “Oi. Shoes. Off.”

“Oops! I forgot, silly me.” They turned back around, kicking their boots off in front of the shoe rack. The mucked up treads laid upward, staring Levi right in the face.

“What do you do in those things? Stomp around in mud?”

Hange whipped around, their ponytail smacking them in the face. “Yes, of course! What else would an environmental professor do all day?”

Levi rolled his eyes at them. Expecting Hange to be clean was like expecting Levi to be dirty—it wouldn’t ever happen. Hange was a firm believer in hands-on teaching, getting their students out into the field to conduct experiments and collect samples from the woods and river just south of the University. And as much as Levi liked to bitch and moan about how unclean Hange was after a day of work, he had to admit that they were a great professor. 

The students at Trost University loved Hange, their score on Rate My Professor a 5.0 while Levi’s was a mere 3.4, which was generous in the eyes of his students. Mostly, they rated his classes as difficult, claiming that he was too tough a grader. There was truth behind that—he had high expectations for his students and refused to be soft on them. If they just did the work that was expected of them, they’d easily pass his class. But they just didn’t want to put in the effort.

The only reason he even got positive points in the ratings at all was because his students thought he was good looking. The thirsty comments that were left on that website were disgusting, to say the least, and he tried to avoid reading them at all. But Eren liked to scour that stupid website, working himself up over all the things his fellow students said about him, bringing them up on occasion whenever he was undergoing a random bout of jealousy, which was more often than Levi cared to admit. 

Eren was sometimes overly protective, his possessiveness over their relationship shining through whenever someone paid too much attention to Levi while they were out. While it was sometimes problematic with Eren often confronting anyone who’s eyes lingered a little too long on him, Levi found it strangely endearing. Just knowing that Eren cared enough about him to get into a fight to protect and claim Levi made his blood burn. It made him feel incredibly wanted, which is something he’d never experienced before Eren came barreling into his life.

That’s what he had to remind himself as he led Hange into the kitchen. Eren loved him, more so than anyone ever has before. If there was something wrong, he’d say something. 

_Right?_

“You’re awfully quiet,” Hange pointed out, setting their bags onto the kitchen island. “Everything okay?”

Levi hummed, peaking into the bags, the smell of grease and meat assaulting his nose. Even though he’d just eaten dinner not that long ago, the delicious scent made his mouth water. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“Want to talk about it?” Hange asked, grabbing one of the wrapped-up burgers from the bag, ripping through the paper with a feral tenacity.

Watching Hange eat was like watching a wolf devour a deer carcass—more food ended up on their face than in their mouth. It was disgusting. 

“Not really,” he frowned, looking away from the gruesome display of human hunger.

“Ok,” Hange shrugged, seemingly nonplussed over his rejection. “You gonna open up that bottle of wine or you just gonna watch me eat?”

“I was going to wait for Erwin to get here, you greedy fuck.”

“I need something to wash down my burger, Levi! Be a good host and pour me a glass already!”

Levi sighed, pushing away from the counter, grabbing three wine glasses and the bottle of cabernet. Sometimes Hange could be overzealous, but Levi was used to it at this point in his life. After knowing them for nearly ten years, he’d learned how to deal with their craziness.

“How are your classes going so far?” Hange asked as Levi poured each of them a generous glass.

“Same shit, different year,” Levi gruffed, sliding one of the glasses over to Hange. 

They took it, immediately bringing the glass up to their long nose, breathing it in. “Oh that’s nice,” they said, taking a quick little sip, humming their approval. “Still only teaching freshman composition?”

“Mostly, yeah,” Levi said, testing out his glass of wine. He’d never had this brand before, having only heard of its quality from a colleague at the University. It had a fruity scent that caught in his nose before the dry liquid slid over his tongue, the high acidity of it making his mouth water as he swallowed it down. A bittersweet aftertaste of cherry with a hint of vanilla lingered on his tongue. Hange was right, it was really good. “Though they did give me an upper-level class—British literature,” he tacked on as an afterthought.

“Finally,” Hange sighed. “You’ve only been applying for upper-level courses for years now.”

“Yeah but those fucks also added another composition class to my schedule because they lost a bunch of professors to that shitty arts school across town. I guess they’re paying better,” he said. He’d considered checking it out, to see if it was worth his time. Not that he needed the money, but he was so sick of teaching freshman composition. Half of his students couldn’t write to save their lives and the other half didn’t even care to try. It was a waste of his time.

“Damn,” Hange shook their head, taking another bite of their burger, a little blob of ketchup fell onto the countertop and Levi frowned at it. “What, that’s like four composition classes and one higher-level English course? I can’t believe they have you teaching five courses. The most I’ve ever heard a professor taking on is four.”

Levi grabbed a napkin from the bag, wiping up Hange’s mess. “It’s bullshit.”

“I take it that’s why I haven’t heard from you much. You’ve been pretty busy?”

He nodded, taking another sip of his wine, his skin warming as it settled in his stomach. 

Hange hummed, letting the silence hang between them as they chewed thoughtfully on their burger. Levi just stared at the wine floating in his glass, wondering if all the work he’s been doing lately was contributing to Eren’s restlessness.

“Here, you should eat,” Hange said, sliding a burger in front of Levi. “You’re looking a little thin.”

Levi looked up at that, scowling. “Fuck you, no I’m not.” But he reached for the burger anyway, unwrapping it and wiping the excess ketchup off of it with a napkin. He hated when his food was swimming with sauce.

He ate his food, slowly sipping his wine as Hange continued to tease him as they so often did. It was nice, having a distraction to take his mind off of Eren, and the wine helped soften the hard edges of his uncertainty, making any of his worries a hazy afterthought in the back of his mind.

Hange was in the middle of telling him a story about a student that had peed themselves in the river while they were wading in the water, collecting samples. Going on and on about how all the students ran away, falling over in the dirty water, screaming in disgust when a hard knock sounded against the front door.

Excusing himself, Levi got up to grab the door, pulling it open and revealing Erwin on the other side, the tall blonde-haired man looming over him as he stepped past.

“Levi,” he nodded in greeting.

“Erwin,” he said, closing the door behind him.

Erwin already knew to take his shoes off, neatly placing them in front of the shoe rack, next to Hange’s upturned boots. The main difference between his two friends was that Erwin took great care to respect Levi’s space, while Hange did whatever they wanted without giving things much thought. They were two very different people, but they balanced each other out well enough, creating a strange dichotomy of personality when the three of them were together.

“Hange’s already in the kitchen,” Levi said, leading the way there. “They’ve already drunk most of their wine.”

“If we run out, I brought a back-up, just in case,” Erwin said, holding up a bottle of merlot. Always the prepared one.

“Erwin!” Hange bellowed, hopping down from their stool, jumping up to wrap their arms around his neck in an overbearing embrace.

Erwin patted them on the back, chuckling softly under his breath. “Hey Hange, long time no see.”

They pulled back, a frown creasing their brow. “I know. Ever since you got that promotion you’ve been incognito.”

“Things have been rather hectic as of late. Lucky you reached out today of all days, Levi. It’s the first night I’ve been free in a while,” Erwin said, setting the bottle down onto the countertop with a soft clink. He sat down on the stool next to Hange, rolling up his sleeves as he leaned against the island. “Is everything okay?”

“Things are fine,” Levi said, grabbing the one empty wine glass, filling it up with the rest of the cabernet.

Hange leaned over towards Erwin, their shoulder bumping into his arm. “I think he’s lying,” they whispered, though Levi could hear them clear as day.

“I’m not,” Levi scowled.

“Why would you think that?” Erwin said, taking a drink of his wine.

“Just look at him, he looks more tired than usual, doesn’t he?”

Erwin hummed. “Yes, I suppose he does. Have you been sleeping well, Levi?”

“What a stupid question,” Levi huffed into his wine glass. “You know I don’t sleep well. We’ve talked about it before.”

“Yes, but that was before you started living with Eren. Once he moved in, your sleeping improved quite a bit. I take it you’ve regressed to how it was before?”

 _Shit._ Had he fallen back into his poor sleeping patterns without even realizing it? Lately, he’d just been so tired, overworked from the heavy class load he’d taken up at the University. It hadn’t even occurred to him that his insomnia had come back, didn’t even think it was odd that he would lay in bed for hours just staring at the ceiling as Eren snored softly next to him. 

“Are you stressed?”

“A little bit,” he shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

“Don’t lie,” Hange said, staring at him over her wine glass. “A little bit for Levi means a lot.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, looking away from their scrutinizing gaze.

“You never complain about anything, so if you’re admitting to being stressed, that means things are worse than what you’re making them out to be.”

“That’s just pure speculation. I’m fine. Besides, I can handle a little stress.”

“I’m sure you can,” Hange started, leaning over the counter, brown eyes ablaze with determination. “But you never reach out to us on a whim like this. There’s something more going on.”

“Hange’s right,” Erwin said, cool blue eyes peering down at Levi. “What’s going on?”

Levi sighed, knowing all too well he wasn’t going to get out of this. Both Erwin and Hange were too determined and stubborn to give up. They would keep swinging until his wall came crumbling down. There was no point in fighting it.

He took a long sip of his wine, letting the acidic liquid warm his blood as it blurred out of the edges of his trepidation. “I’m worried Eren’s getting bored of me,” he finally admitted.

Hange’s eyes went wide and Erwin’s back straightened, both staring at him for a moment too long.

“Why do you think that?” Erwin finally asked.

Levi shrugged, swirling his wine around as he avoided their probing eyes. “He’s been restless lately with how much I’ve been having to work. We hardly go on dates anymore. And well—” he stopped, taking another sip of his wine, the warmth seeping into his bones making it easier to get the words out. 

“And what?” Erwin prodded.

“He randomly went to a party tonight without any forethought or planning behind it. He’s always been brash, but in all the time we’ve been together he’s had no interest in going to parties. It just seems a bit odd.”

Erwin and Hange were both quiet as they considered what Levi said, the stillness in the air making it difficult to breathe. It was hard to tell what they were thinking.

“Who goes to a party on a Wednesday night?” Erwin finally said, his thick eyebrows pulling down in confusion.

Hange barked a laugh, their brown hair falling haphazardly around their face as they attempted to hide their amusement behind their hand. “Erwin, did you even _go_ to college? There are parties every night.”

“Really?” Erwin hummed, resting his chin in his hand as he considered what Hange said. “I always took my studies very seriously in college. I suppose I never noticed.”

“Of course you did,” Levi rolled his eyes.

Erwin had always been the straight-laced one of their friend group. It came as no surprise that he had avoided the party scene in his youth, though that didn’t explain how he’d missed the very obvious party culture on Trost’s campus over the past couple of years. Especially since he was the new dean at the College of Business and Innovation. The fact that he was so blind to what his students were doing right under his nose was a little unnerving.

“The business students you work with are the worst ones out of the whole school, Erwin. They are party animals,” Hange said, exasperated.

“Is that so? There’s been a lot on my plate since I took the position as dean. I suppose it may have slipped past my radar,” Erwin mused. “Do you want me to report it?” he asked, pulling out his phone. “What’s the address?”

“For fuck sake Erwin,” Levi groaned. “No, that’s the last thing I want. I don’t need Eren getting busted at a party full of underage students drinking and smoking pot.”

“Are you not upset that he’s at a party, then?”

“I couldn’t care less that he’s at a party. If he wants to get drunk on Wednesday night with his friends, that’s his business. It’d be normal for a kid his age.”

“I’m sorry Levi, I guess I don’t understand what the problem is.”

Levi groaned, dropping his head into the palm of his hand. This was why he didn’t like talking about his problems with people. It was too difficult trying to put his feelings into words.

“I think what little Levi is trying to say is that he’s concerned that Eren is trying to find a way to subvert his boredom because he is becoming restless at home,” Hange explained, their eyes softening as they frowned down at Levi. Even though they were eccentric most of the time, they were observant and empathetic when it counted, knowing exactly when they needed to turn serious.

“I see,” Erwin hummed. “So you don’t mind that he’s finding an outlet in such an irresponsible manner?”

“It’s not ideal, but it is what it is. I can’t stop him from doing what he wants,” Levi said. And that was the truth of it. Eren was too stubborn and headstrong to control—not that he ever would try. It’s what he loved about Eren. Being around him was like flying through the summer sky—warm and bright and so very freeing.

“And what if this behavior continues?”

“I’m hoping that it won’t.”

“I think if you want to avoid it becoming a habit, you should try to make some time for him, be intentional about what you do together,” Erwin explained. “With my recent promotion, I’ve been incredibly busy at work. Mike and I haven’t been able to see each other as much anymore but I still schedule date nights together whenever I have free time because I know it’s important to him.”

It had been so long since Levi had taken Eren out on a date. They’d both been so busy with school and work that it just didn’t seem like they had the time for it. Whenever there was extra time in the day, Levi would be too tired to plan something, opting for takeout and a movie over actually going out and doing something.

Was that why Eren was getting so restless? Because Levi wasn’t paying proper attention to him anymore? Eren knew he was busy—stressed and overwhelmed with work. Surely he understood that Levi was tired and didn’t have the energy to go out whenever they had a moment’s rest.

“I guess it’s worth a shot,” Levi sighed, downing the rest of his wine. His head felt light and airy and his blood was buzzing underneath his skin. He didn’t drink often, not like he used to when he was younger, but the occasional drink was nice to calm the nerves.

“It’s a shame you couldn’t go with him tonight. Wouldn’t that have been a sight to see. Levi at a party,” Hange said, biting back their amusement.

“Just scowling at everyone from the corner,” Erwin added with a smirk.

“Muttering angrily into his cup every time someone looked at Eren.”

“Throwing his drink at the unlucky soul who brushes up against Eren while they pass by.”

“Going full gremlin mode and beating the shit out of them,” Hange laughed out.

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi growled, clenching his fist against the countertop. “I wouldn’t do any of that shit.”

“Oh?” Erwin quirked his brow at him. “I remember very vividly you threw your drink at a guy that dared to flirt with Eren at Hange and Moblit’s wedding.”

Levi tensed, remembering all too well how pissed off he’d been when he saw some himbo resting his dirty hand on Eren’s elbow while he smiled a dopey grin at his boyfriend. Just imagining it made his blood burn a little too bright. 

So maybe he also experienced his own bouts of jealousy from time to time. But he couldn’t help it. Eren was an extremely attractive young man, and more often than not, he’d get hit on whenever they went out in public. It drove Levi crazy, understanding all too well why Eren got pissy whenever he read those comments on Rate My Professor.

Eren was _his_ and he was Eren’s. He wouldn’t let anyone come between that.

“Yeah, well,” Levi huffed, knowing Erwin was all too right. There was no denying it. “It’s not like I can go with him even if I wanted to.”

“Yes, that does pose quite a problem,” Erwin hummed. “Hopefully this doesn’t continue, so you won’t have to worry about it.”

“Try doing what Erwin suggested. If intentional quality time doesn’t work, we’ll come up with something else!” Hange said, clapping Levi on the shoulder. “We’re here for you, Levi, no matter what!”

Erwin nodded in agreement, a soft hint of a smile brightening his eyes.

It wasn’t often that they were all able to get together like this and Levi was incredibly grateful that they were able to come over at such a moment’s notice. To have friends like these—he was blessed, even if he didn’t always know how to express that sentiment. 

“Thanks, you guys,” he managed, letting himself smile softly as he shifted his gaze between Erwin and Hange. Those three words didn’t quite express just how much they meant to him, but it was enough. And if their surprised expressions were anything to go by, they understood exactly what he meant— 

_You guys mean the world to me._

* * *

A loud slam pulled him from his sleep and Levi jolted awake, heart beating rapidly against his chest. Reaching under his bed, he fumbled around in the dark, fingers finally finding a metal switchblade tucked between his mattress. He gripped it tightly, pulling it close to his chest as he slid out from under the covers, padding over to the bedroom door. Peeking through the small opening, he spotted a tall, shadowy figure swaying towards him.

“Eren,” he breathed in relief. That’s right, Eren had gone out and was just now getting home—he’d forgotten in his half-asleep daze. His reaction to the intrusion had been so instinctual he didn’t even think to question whether it was Eren or not. Old habits die hard, and all that. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Levi,” came Eren’s voice in the darkness, his shadowy frame pushing open the door, sweeping Levi up into a tight embrace. His long hair brushed against his face and the smell of alcohol and smoke assaulted his senses, making his nose wrinkle in disgust.

“You smell like shit,” he huffed, trying to pull away. But Eren only tightened his grip on Levi, burying his face into the crook of his neck, heavily breathing against his skin.

“Mmm, but you smell good,” he hummed, pressing hot lips against his neck.

“Let go Eren, I can’t breathe.” The acrid smell clinging to Eren’s hair and clothes was overwhelming.

Groaning, Eren did as he was told, swaying on his feet as he straightened out. “Take a shower with me,” he slurred.

“No, I need to go back to sleep. I have to get up early,” Levi said, turning back towards the bed, tucking the switchblade back where it belonged underneath the mattress.

Eren threw his head back, scoffing, the dramatics amped up to one hundred percent. “God, you’re so lame,” he drawled, storming off towards the bathroom, the door closing harshly behind him.

Levi’s heart sank, the dig hitting a little too close to home. With all of his worrying just a few hours before, Eren’s words hurt more than he would’ve anticipated. He crawled back into bed, laying down onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as uncertainty slithered into his chest. There was no doubt in Levi’s mind that Eren was getting restless, the evidence clear in his behavior. And while he knew Eren was drunk, it didn’t soften the sting of his words, the harsh reality of them weighing heavily on his heart. Eren probably didn’t even realize he was feeling this way, but it was there, festering under the surface. Levi could feel it.

The sound of running water finally cut off, pulling Levi from his thoughts. The door to the bedroom opened with a thud, making Levi jump at the loud noise.

“Oops,” Eren whispered into the darkness, his voice coming from the foot of the bed.

Levi didn’t look up, just continued to lay on his back, eyes closed as he tried to push back the anxious thoughts clouding his mind. A heavy weight came crashing down on top of him, stealing all the breath out of his lungs, making him forget all about his problems. Eren laid limp on top of him, his heavy body completely naked and sopping wet from his shower.

“Fucking hell, why are you still wet?” Levi grunted, trying to find his breath again. It was difficult to do with Eren squishing his lungs. “Get off, you fat oaf.”

“No,” Eren whined, stubbornly wrapping his arms around Levi’s neck, nuzzling closer.

While Levi didn’t mind the affection that Eren was determined to express, he was far too heavy in his drunken state and sopping wet, making the duvet and sheets cold against his skin. 

“Seriously, Eren, move,” Levi tried again, but Eren was as solid as a brick wall.

He grabbed Eren’s arms, pulling them away from his neck as he sat up, rolling Eren off of him. Everything was covered in water, and he would need to change the sheets if he was going to be able to get any sleep tonight. Knowing Eren wasn't going to cooperate in his drunkenness, Levi threw the edge of the duvet over Eren, rolling him up in the blanket like a burrito before pushing him onto the ground.

Eren flopped next to the bed like a fish out of water, groaning. “Why’d you do that?” Eren pouted, his head lolling to the side, looking up at Levi with puppy dog eyes.

“You’re not listening to me,” Levi said.

“I just want to snuggle,” Eren sighed, wriggling on the floor as he tried to free himself from the blanket burrito. But his coordination was off from all the alcohol and he couldn’t seem to figure it out. Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes. It would’ve been amusing, if not for the fact that Levi had to get up and change the sheets.

“Help me up, Levi, pleeease,” Eren drawled. 

Ignoring his pleas, he went over to the closet and pulled out a dry sheet and fleece blanket. Tearing off the wet sheets, he replaced them with the dry. 

“If you let me out, I’ll make it up to you.”

“Is that right?” Levi asked, tucking the sheet underneath the mattress.

“Mmmhmm. I’ll suck you off so good,” he said in a sing-song voice.

Levi snorted, shaking his head. While the offer was tempting, Eren was drunk off his ass and Levi needed to get to bed. It hardly seemed like the appropriate time for a blow job. 

“You don’t have to,” Levi said, knowing that no matter what he said, Eren would insist otherwise. He stepped over to Eren, kneeling to help him out of his cacoon.

“I want to.” 

As soon as his arms were free, they wrapped around Levi’s neck, pulling him down into his chest as he crushed their lips together into a sloppy kiss. His tongue shot out, hot and wet, hungrily licking at Levi’s lips, demanding entrance. Unable to resist, Levi opened his mouth, his tongue gliding across Eren’s, the taste of mint on his breath. Everything about Eren swarmed his senses, making his head spin as he pressed against him, his skin warming with sudden desire.

Eren groaned into his mouth and Levi swallowed up the delicious sound, his cock twitching to life in his boxers. Tongue flicking deep into his wet mouth, Levi rutted against Eren’s side, unable to stop the low moan from escaping his throat. It was everything he ever wanted and more. To simply be wrapped up in Eren’s arms, his senses overwhelmed with his scent and his taste—he never wanted to let go. But at the same time, he felt like she should.

Levi was torn. On one hand, he desperately wanted to feel Eren surrounding him, filling him up until he was close to bursting. He wanted to prove that he wasn’t _lame_ , that he could have a fun time with Eren no matter what time of day. But on the other hand, he didn’t want to have sex with Eren while he was completely drunk and he was sober. It just didn’t feel right.

Against his better judgment, he pulled back, breaking their heated kiss, his chest rising and falling with each hasty breath. Eren whined, the sound low and needy, making Levi’s stomach burn with a dark hunger.

“Levi please,” Eren groaned, his hot breath fanning across Levi’s wet and swollen lips. “I want you so bad.”

“You’re not fucking me when your drunk,” Levi said, trying to catch his breath. As much as Levi wanted to give in to those tantalizing words, he couldn’t. 

Eren rolled his eyes, his hands gripping Levi’s hips tightly as he jutted upward, his cock pressing against his ass. “But I’m so fucking horny. I’ve been thinking about this all night.”

Those words made his abdomen burn with lusty desire. Just the idea that Eren had been thinking about him while he was out with his friends weakened his resolve, his wall crumbling as Eren's fingers dug into his skin. Levi sighed, resting his forehead against Eren’s forehead, breathing in the smell of his shampoo.

“What have you been thinking about?” The words slipped from his mouth and he instantly regretted them. Levi knew the moment that Eren revealed his fantasies, he would be royally fucked. The flimsy resolve he was holding on to was already so weak against the temptation of Eren’s touch.

One of Eren’s hands left his hip, trailing over to the erection tenting his boxers, teasing fingers rubbing his length through the fabric. Levi groaned, heat flaring under his skin.

“Just how much I want to take your cock into my mouth, and how I want to suck it until you're a writhing mess underneath me,” he slurred, his lips teasing the shell of Levi’s ear. He shivered as his hot breath caressed his sensitive skin.

“What else?” Levi moaned, his breath catching in his throat as Eren bit the soft flesh of his neck, his hand sliding into his boxers, taking his hard length into his palm. There was no going back from this, he was too far gone, completely putty in Eren’s hands and he needed him now more than ever.

“There’s so much I want to do to you,” Eren purred, nipping at his jaw. “I want to fuck your ass with my tongue, licking you open for me. But right before you’re about to cum, I’m going to stop and you’re going to be begging me to fuck you. And just when you’re at the point of breaking, I’m going to rail you so fucking hard with my cock that the neighbors will be able to hear you coming undone.”

“Fuck yes, Eren,” Levi breathed, throwing his head back as his skin burned with heat, Eren’s tantalizing promises making his abdomen constrict with sinful desire. It all was too much—from Eren’s warm hand jerking his cock, to his lips and tongue sucking and biting at his neck, to the dirty images floating through his head—he already felt close to his release.

Any worry or uncertainty he’d been feeling before had completely evaporated and all he could think about was the heavenly way that Eren made him feel—his heart full, skin flush, blood buzzing with arousal. If there was one thing he never wanted to give up, this was it.

“I want all of that and more,” he said between breaths. It didn’t matter that Eren was drunk, didn’t matter that he’d been out partying until three in the morning. All that mattered was how much they wanted each other, right here, right now.

Eren bit his neck, growling, a sharp jolt of pain shooting right into his cock. And as Eren picked him off the ground, stumbling over to the bed, Levi forgot—forgot that Eren was drunk, forgot that he was restless, forgot that he was worried. Eren threw him down onto the bed, smothering him in kisses and caresses, and Levi completely lost himself in the overwhelming feeling of lust and love that threatened to burst out from his too tight skin.

As Eren lavished his body, doing all of those dirty things that he had promised, Levi realized that he could never let him go. No matter what happened, he would do anything to ensure that Eren stayed a part of his life. The love he felt for him was far too precious to give up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets high and makes new friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished plotting out the story and it looks like it'll be around 23 chapters, including an epilogue. Really excited for the things I have planned. Hope yall enjoy!

Friday came far too quickly. With how hungover Eren was on Thursday, he hadn’t been able to go to any of his classes, and now he was playing catch-up with all of his school work. Luckily, he didn’t have any classes on Friday, which gave him plenty of time to pour his attention into the assignments he let himself fall behind on.

But even as he sat alone in the kitchen, his books and laptop sprawled out across the island, he couldn’t focus. He kept thinking about Levi, about the hard set of his jaw, the tension he’d been carrying in his shoulders the day before. Though he never said anything, Levi had seemed irritated at Eren’s hungover state, disappointed that he was staying home instead of going to his classes.

That sour mood of his made sharing his plans all the more difficult.

It was Friday—he was supposed to be going to a party tonight with Ymir. Yet, he hadn’t spoken a word about it to Levi—too afraid to irritate him any further.

His phone buzzed against the hard countertop and Eren reached for it.

**[Ymir]** You’re coming tonight, right?

Ymir and Eren had been texting occasionally since they’d exchanged phone numbers the other night. As far as he could tell, they had similar interests and tastes in things, making small talk fluid and easy. But other than surface-level stuff, he still didn’t know much about her.

And there was still that low burning curiosity tugging him forward. Without thinking, he typed a quick  _ yes  _ and hit send. With nerves fluttering at his confirmation, he set his phone down, trying to focus on the damn paper he needed to write. 

Time passed by far too slowly as he stared hopelessly at the computer screen and before he knew it, the front door was unlocking and his boyfriend was stepping into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Eren said, turning to greet him. “How was work?”

“Fine,” Levi sighed, setting his bag onto the counter and pressing a quick kiss to Eren’s cheek. He didn’t even bother looking up at Eren, almost like he was trying to hide something.

He reached out, grabbing Levi’s chin before he could walk away, forcing him to look up at Eren. There were dark circles under his eyes, his skin paler than usual, and his hair looked like he’d been blown over by a gust of wind.

“Are you okay?”

“Just tired,” Levi said, swatting away Eren’s hands. He let go, settling his hand back onto the countertop.

Eren frowned. Was his insomnia acting up again? This year did seem more difficult than the ones before—perhaps work was wearing him down. 

“Is there anything I can do?”

Levi shrugged, absently sliding some of Eren’s books around as he avoided his probing gaze. “I don’t really feel like cooking or anything,” he said, peeking up to glance at Eren. “I was thinking maybe we could go out tonight, maybe try someplace new?”

“Oh,” Eren perked up, his back straightening as his heart sank into his stomach. He hadn’t been expecting that. It’d been a while since they’d last gone out somewhere nice. And of course the one time he’d asked to go out, Eren wasn’t able to. What shitty timing.

“Oh?” Levi asked, his brows pulling down into a scowl. “Not really the response I was looking for.”

“It’s just that—” he cut off, looking away, guilt coiling in his gut. “I have to finish writing this paper… It’s due at midnight and I was planning on going out after.”

Levi’s scowl somehow managed to deepen and he looked away with a scoff. “Again?”

“Well, yeah,” Eren bristled, not liking his petulant tone. “I had fun hanging out with my friends on Wednesday and they want to do it again so I said yes.”

“Are you going to another party?”

Eren nodded.

Levi pushed away from the countertop, shaking his head. “So I can’t even go with? That’s fucking perfect.”

“Don’t pretend like you would want to if you could. You don’t even like my friends.”

“That’s not true. Why would you even say that?” Levi snapped.

Eren scoffed. “You literally call them annoying all the time.”

“Yeah, it’s because they fucking are. So are you and Hange and I still manage just fine around you two.”

“What the hell?” Eren sat up, his fists clenching against the counter. Why was Levi being a dick all of a sudden? “Fuck you, I’m not annoying.”

“Eren,” Levi growled, eyes narrowing. “I’m too tired for this shit. Drop the attitude.”

“No, you,” Eren stood up, the stool legs scraping loudly against hardwood floors as he towered over Levi. “You’re the one being all pissy.”

Levi snapped his jaw shut, looking away. With how tense his shoulders were, how deeply the scowl pulled down over his eyes, Eren could tell he was mad, though he didn’t know why. And for whatever reason, Levi wasn’t telling him. 

“Who shit in your cereal this morning?” Eren asked, hoping his poor attempt at a joke would lighten Levi’s mood, even if just a little bit.

Levi snorted, but the hard set of his body didn’t ease up. “Nobody.”

“Then why do you keep making that stank face?” Eren poked his cheek and Levi swatted away his hand, the corner of his mouth twitching.

Levi sniffed. “Cause it stinks in here.” At that, Levi grabbed his bag and walked around the island. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Can I come with?” Eren asked. Though he didn’t think a shower together would take away whatever seemed to be bothering Levi, it was worth a shot

But he shook his head, eyeing the stack of schoolwork scattered across the counter. “No, you need to finish your paper.”

While Levi had a point, it didn’t stop Eren from slumping down onto his stool, disappointed. No matter how tempting showering with Levi was, Eren knew there was hardly any time for it. Somehow he’d only managed to write one page all afternoon and the paper was due in seven hours. Even with all that time available to him, he wanted to try and get it done before nine so he could get to that party before it got too late.

“Fine,” Eren sighed, silently pouting to himself as he rested his cheek into the palm of his hand.

As Levi left, he caught the smallest frown on his lips, a fleeting look of disappointment warping his smooth features. It made Eren’s heart sink knowing that he’d put it there, even if he didn’t fully understand how. While they got into their fair share of arguments over the course of their relationship, they never amounted to much, always resolving themselves out before it could turn into something bigger. But Eren couldn’t help thinking there was something more going on, something festering under the surface that he couldn’t quite grasp. 

Was Levi upset that he was going out again?

That didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Just the other day Levi had said it was fine for him to go to a party, that it would be a normal thing for a person his age to do. So why did he seem so irked by the idea of it now? Was it because he had wanted to take him out on a date and he’d said no? Though he’d never been upset before when school came in the way of a date night, so that didn’t make sense either.

But Eren couldn’t get it out of his head that Levi was upset. The thought to ask him about it registered in his mind but he quickly brushed it away. If it was important, Levi would tell him, right? It was all probably part of his imagination anyway. He was worrying over nothing.

  
  


“I’m surprised you wanted to go out again,” Armin said as Eren got situated in the passenger seat, clicking his seatbelt into place.

“Oh, yeah, well I had fun the other night,” Eren shrugged.

“Really? After our game, I don’t think I saw you once. I actually thought you’d left.”

“Why would you think that?”

Armin put the car into reverse, backing out of his driveway. Putting it into drive, he focused on the road ahead of him and shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know. You never want to go out anymore. I just kind of assumed you weren’t interested in drinking and socializing and all that.”

“Wow, way to make me sound lame, Armin,” Eren scoffed, leaning against the door as he watched his quiet neighborhood pass through the window.

It’s not like Armin was wrong—he really didn’t care about doing any of that stuff anymore. But he didn’t like being called out on it, didn’t like that  _ Armin _ of all people was the one doing it. Armin, who used to be too afraid to socialize, who Mikasa and Eren had to drag out of his house to go to social events. Crazy how much the tables had turned in just a few years.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Armin said, peeking over at Eren. “I’m actually really glad you’re coming out with me!”

“Yeah,” Eren hummed. “It’s a shame Mikasa and Jean couldn’t come.”

They apparently had a date night planned out, and Mikasa had been very cryptic about what that meant. Not that he really  _ cared _ , but having more familiar faces for tonight would’ve been nice.

“Levi too. Maybe we should try and do something where he could join next time.”

Eren rolled his eyes, still bitter about how he and Levi had left things. After his shower, his mood had only improved marginally, his crankiness written in the hard frown on his face. He barely said a word to Eren the rest of the night, and when he’d slipped out the front door, he’d muttered a  _ have fun _ without even giving him a kiss goodbye.

“I doubt he’d want to even if he could.”

“Really? You don’t think he wants to spend time with you?”

He remembered the way Levi had seemed particularly peeved about the fact that he couldn’t come with and he bit at his lip, unsure of himself. Going out and doing things wasn’t really Levi’s cup of tea, and yet he said those words like he wished he could come out with Eren.

“I think he does,” Eren sighed, fidgeting with the aircon controls, trying to hide how uncomfortable this conversation was making him. He didn’t like talking about the details of his relationship, even with Armin, his best friend. It just always felt too personal. “I don’t know, he’s been kind of grumpy the past few days.”

Armin hummed, staring straight ahead. “Does he not like you going out? Is that why you stopped going out with us?”

Eren shook his head. “No, he’s never said anything like that before.”

“I don’t know then. He’s always seemed kind of grumpy to me. I just kind of figured that was his normal state.”

“Yeah, I’m probably just reading into it.”

Armin looked over at him, patting him gently on the knee before gripping the steering wheel again. “Don’t sweat it. I’m sure if there was a problem, he’d say something. He’s mature enough. Let’s just forget it and have a good time tonight!”

“Right,” Eren nodded, Armin’s pep talk lifting the weight off of his chest. There was no point worrying about it now. Worrying wouldn’t change anything. All he could do was set it aside for later and let himself have a good time in the here and now.

  
  


It had been easy to find Ymir once they got to the party, the pull he felt towards her leading him straight to the dining room where the table was set up for beer pong. They had their fated rematch and Eren had managed to clutch a win in the first round, but lost the second, all the drinking making it difficult to score. And now he was three drinks deep, his head swimming with a familiar buz.

The house was even more crowded this time around, people pressed together like so many weeds, intermingling, and moving as one singular unit. The press of bodies against each other was stifling and it was getting hot, the alcohol making his blood warm.

“I’m going to get some air,” Eren said, gesturing towards the back door.

“I’ll go with you. I could use a smoke,” Ymir said, following after him.

The back porch wasn’t as crowded but there were several people scattered about on the random pieces of furniture. He took a deep breath, the heaviness in his skull lightening as he breathed in the fresh autumn air.

“Hey, Ymir!” a deep voice called, drawing both their attention over to a man sitting in the corner.

“Oh shit,” Ymir beamed, dragging Eren over to two men that he didn’t recognize. “Eren, this is Bertholdt and Reiner. They’re super chill.” Ymir gestured to the tall dark-haired man with a hooked nose and then a bulky, sandy-haired man with a neatly groomed beard accenting his strong jaw. They were sitting back on a ratty couch tucked into the corner of the back porch, the coffee table in front of them littered with ashtrays and beer cans. 

The two men looked up at him and Eren tucked his hands into his pockets, giving them a quick nod. Introductions like this always made him uncomfortable and he wished he had Armin around to lean on. But he had gone running off again the moment someone caught his attention. He was just like that sometimes, too flighty for his own good.

“Got here just in time,” Reiner said, leaning back into the couch as he twisted a blunt between his fingers, licking the paper and sealing it shut. “Was just about to light this baby up.”

“Hell yeah. Is it the same stuff as last time?” Ymir asked, plopping down on the couch next to him, sipping at the beverage in her red solo cup.

Following her lead, Eren sat down on a scuffed up lazy boy that was caddy corner to her, resting his drink between his knees.

“This is even better,” Bertholdt said, slinging his arm behind Reiner. While the gesture seemed innocent enough, there was something intimate about it and if Eren had to guess, those two were dating. Eren silently wished he could be doing the same with Levi, knowing it was foolish to fantasize of such things. If only he’d been able to come out with him...

“Do you smoke, Eren?” Ymir asked, pulling him from his daydream.

“Yeah, but it’s been a while.”

Three years to be exact. Last time had been before he met Levi at a college party similar to this one. It’s not that he didn’t  _ like  _ getting high, it just didn’t feel necessary when he felt high from just being around his boyfriend. Though a small part of him wanted to try it again, see how it would feel after all these years.

“Well, you’re in for a treat my guy,” Reiner smirked, lighting up the blunt and taking a fat hit from it. After holding it in for a moment, he exhaled, a heavy cloud of smoke hanging in the air. He passed it to his left and Bertholdt took it, doing the same.

The blunt finally got to Eren and he brought it to his lips, tasting the soft grape of the swisher sweet wrapper on his tongue. He inhaled deeply and heavy smoke attacked his throat, his lungs burning as they constricted at the intrusion. Unable to hold it in, he coughed, eyes watering as his throat caught fire, smoke leaving his lungs.

Ymir laughed. “Oh no dude, you’re totally fucked.”

Eren continued to cough, the harsh tickle in his throat unrelenting. He passed the blunt to Ymir and took a long pull from his drink, the sticky sweet cocktail coating his throat and extinguishing the fire burning there.

“Fuck,” he sighed, blinking past the sudden haziness that oozed into his brain. He sat back in his chair, staring up at the night sky, skin tingling as the effects set in.

“Damn, that’s good,” Ymir exhaled, her voice sounding far away against the buzzing in Eren’s skull.

The voices around him droned into a solitary noise, the bass of the music in the background vibrating his bones. Everything around him melded into a blur, the stars above him swirling dots that moved like a kaleidoscope.

“Yo Eren,” Reiner said, pulling him from his daze.

He sat up, head lolling to look at the blunt being passed to him again. Hesitating, he stared at it, unsure if he should hit it or not, the edges of his reality already hazy. But from the corner of his eye, he saw Ymir staring, a delicate brow raised in a question. He reached for it, bringing it to his lips and took a smaller hit.

The smoke settled in his lungs more easily this time and he was able to exhale without coughing. It felt like the smoke was crawling up his lungs, through his throat, behind his face, and to his brain, everything tingling as it passed. It felt ethereal—the combination of the alcohol and weed mixing into his consciousness, making the colors around him bleed together. 

Sinking into the chair once more, he rubbed his face, his skin tingling underneath his own touch. Every muscle in his body was relaxed and he felt like a giant blob existing in a swaying reality, like nothing could touch and hurt him.

“Eren, you good?” Ymir asked, and he rolled his head to the side, peering at her amused expression, unable to lift his head off the headrest.

“Fucking great,” he huffed, his tongue feeling particularly heavy in his mouth. It felt like he was fading in and out of a dream.

“You look blazed as fuck bro,” Reiner said.

“You’re one to talk,” Bertholdt quipped.

“Reiner always looks high though, it’s just his natural state of being,” Ymir teased.

“That’s cause he  _ is _ always high.”

Their voices all melded together and Eren was struggling to keep up with the conversation as it went on. He just sat there, absently listening to their voices as he stared up at the stars, his whole body tingling with this new feeling, savoring it as his mind wandered, thinking about everything and nothing all at once.

“Yo, Eren, how come we’ve never seen you here before?” One of them asked, pulling him from his reverie. Eren couldn’t be bothered to look and see who it was.

He half shrugged, his movement stilted. “I don’t know.”

“He’s got a sugar daddy to entertain,” Ymir said. “Doesn’t have time for parties.”

“T-that’s not true,” Eren slurred. “He’s not my sugar daddy.”

“Yeah okay,” she snorted. “He lives in a house over on Kingston where all the old money is and he doesn’t have a job or anything.”

“Dude that’s sick. I’m fucking working at Taco Bell and Spencer’s just to pay all the bullshit fees for this stupid frat,” Reiner sighed. “Damn, I need to find myself a sugar daddy.”

“What the fuck, Reiner,  _ I’m _ your sugar daddy,” Bertholdt said.

“You gotta be older than me to be my sugar daddy, Bert. Hence the  _ daddy  _ part. Besides, your salary at Hot Topic isn’t going to get me a house on Kingston.”

“Maybe one day, after we graduate, I’ll be able to.”

“I don’t have a sugar daddy,” Eren interjected, too stoned to feel annoyed. Even though they weren’t even talking to him anymore, he felt it imperative that he make it clear that he wasn’t with his boyfriend for the money.

“It’s all good, Eren. Even if you did, there’s no judgement here,” Reiner said.

“Yeah, we’re just proud that your sugar baby ass has grown up and decided to get out into the world,” said Ymir.

“Just cause I don’t go to parties all the time doesn’t mean that I don’t get out,” Eren said, not wanting them thinking that he didn’t have freedom in his relationship—he definitely did. He could do whatever the hell he wanted.

“That’s not what your friend, Armin, was saying.”

At that, Eren sat up, his blood flaring hot. “What did he say?”

“Just that you don’t get out much since you started dating your boyfriend. Said getting you to go out anymore is difficult.”

Eren slumped in his chair, frustrated that Armin was talking about his business behind his back. It seemed so unlike him, and yet, Ymir spoke with such confidence that he believed her. “Yeah, well,” he started, trying to work through the heavy haze muddying up his brain. “I’m here now, so what’s it matter?”

“And I hope you keep coming out with us. You’re pretty fun, Eren. I’m just worried your boyfriend might try to hold you back.”

“Yeah, bro, gotta keep doing you, no matter what. Don’t let no man keep you down,” Reiner said.

“I do, do me,” Eren huffed, too high to be annoyed at the lecture he was receiving.

Everyone laughed at that. He rolled his head to the side to look at them and there was mirth crinkling blood shot eyes.

“That’s TMI dude,” Ymir snorted.

“Not what I meant,” Eren rolled his eyes, but they felt incredibly sticky under his eyelids. Every part of him felt sluggish and slow. He couldn’t even work himself up enough to argue on his and Levi’s behalf.

“Well glad you decided to come out. You seem chill as fuck,” Reiner said.

“That’s funny,” Eren snorted, Reiner’s assessment of his character so completely wrong that it was comical. “I’m the least chill person I know.” From being riled up at the drop of a needle to running head first after what he wanted, there was nothing  _ chill _ about him.

“Really? That’s crazy. Must be the weed, bro. This indica strain is no joke, mellows you out right into the couch.”

Eren hummed, quietly agreeing. The lazy boy was practically swallowing him whole. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

“Yo, Annie!” Reiner yelled suddenly, making Eren jump.

Turning his head to the side, he spotted a short, blonde haired woman with a long, curved nose, her plump lips frowning. Her hands were placed on her hips and she looked positively annoyed.

“What?”

“We can’t move. Would you bring us a round of beers?”

“What do I look like to you, a fucking server?”

“Please, Annie?” Bert begged. 

Her cool blue eyes flicked over to the dark haired man and she sighed, relenting. “Fine.” And then she walked inside the house, disappearing into the dark vibrations leaking through the back door.

“Nice.”

Eren wasn’t sure if he could handle any more alcohol at this point, the three drinks and weed more than enough. But he didn’t refuse the cold beer when Annie returned, taking the can and resting it between his hands, relishing in how icy it felt against his hot skin.

“Did you already smoke all of that weed?” Annie asked, plopping down between Reiner and Ymir. 

“Nah, we got some left,” he huffed, sitting forward and grabbing the half smoked blunt, passing it to Annie.

She took it, lighting it up and taking a long drag, the heady smoke filling up the air once more. 

“Hey, you’re Armin’s friend, yeah?” Annie asked, peering over at Eren through a veil of smoke.

Eren nodded, his tongue too heavy to move. 

“Is he here? I haven’t seen him.”

“Yeah, he ran off somewhere a while ago.”

She hummed, a faint look of disappointment flashing across her features before it disappeared into an impassive mask. What was that about? Eren didn’t have a clue.

They fell into an easy conversation as they passed the rest of the blunt around. Doubling up again on beer and weed, his head went hazy once again, eyelids drooping, voices fading into the background.

Time passed at an unknown pace, his phone buried deep into his pocket, completely forgotten. And as he sat there, conversing with new friends, fading in and out of consciousness, he lost track of time and reality.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi wakes up to an empty bed and tries to mend the rift that seems to be forming between him and his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Thanks for your patience with this one. For whatever reason, I was really struggling to finish this chapter. School just started back up for me and my creativity and motivation has kind of been at an all time low. So the comments and encouragement have been extremely helpful in getting me to write this story. Thanks for all your continued support. I hope you enjoy the chapterrr!

When Levi woke up, he was alone, the space next to him cold and empty. He rolled over onto his back, his hand reaching for the space where Eren normally laid, finding nothing. Confused, he sat up, looking around the room, caught in a daze. Everything was in its place, neat and orderly just as he’d left it the night before and yet it felt so completely off.

His heart sank to the pit of his stomach. Did Eren not come home last night? Levi threw the comforter off of him, sitting up and grabbing his phone, checking it for any missed calls or messages.

He had no new notifications.

It was still relatively early, the sun just barely peeking through the curtains. He got up quickly, throwing on a baggy sweatshirt that smelled like Eren to combat the morning chill, and padded downstairs, calling out for Eren. There was no response.

He checked the living room, the bathroom, the kitchen, the guest bedroom, the basement— everywhere he could possibly think to look. But he wasn’t home. Where the hell was he? A hundred different scenarios whipped into his mind, making his hands slick with sweat as worry began to set in.

Did something happen to him? Did he get hurt or sick at the party? Was he arrested? Did he go home with someone else? The possibilities seemed endless as they played on repeat in his thoughts, panic making his heart race.

“What the fuck, Eren,” he growled to himself, clutching his phone in his hand as he dialed his number. It didn’t even ring once, going straight to voicemail. He tried again, and again, and again, even though he knew at this point that his phone was probably dead. 

Gritting his teeth with frustration, he typed up a quick message and hit send.

**[Levi]** Where the fuck are you?

He knew he wasn’t going to get a response, but he desperately needed to know that Eren was okay, that he was safe somewhere. 

Minutes passed and he tried to call his phone again, going straight to voicemail. He waited for the prompt to beep before leaving a curt message of  _ call me back. _

Levi paced back and forth in the living room, chewing at his lip. He didn’t even know where the party had been, so he couldn’t go and see if he was still there. Though he couldn’t even if he knew the location of it. If he showed his face at a frat house without being on University business it would be questionable at best. There was no way he could go on campus to look for his boyfriend without causing trouble for himself.

Eren had also failed to mention who he was going out with, though Levi could assume it was his usual group of friends. That gave him some options, at least. He pulled up his contact list and sifted through the names, finding Armin’s first. Dialing his number, he impatiently tapped his foot as he listened to it ring over and over again.

It eventually went to voicemail and Levi sighed, canceling the call, opting to send a text instead of leaving a message. 

**[Levi]** Hey Armin. Have you seen Eren?

It was still early and honestly, Levi wasn’t expecting Armin to respond any time soon, so he continued to scroll through his list until he came upon Mikasa’s name. She was always reliable. Hopefully, she’d answer her phone despite the early hour.

The phone rang twice before she picked up with a quiet, “Levi?”

“Hey,” he muttered. “Have you seen Eren?”

“He’s not with you?” she asked, her voice coated in concern.

“No, he didn’t come home last night. I was hoping he’d be with you.”

“I didn’t go to the party last night. It was just him and Armin. Did you try calling them?”

Levi rolled his eyes. It’d been the first thing he tried. “Yeah, neither of them picked up.”

Silence. And then, “I’ll drive over to the house and see if he’s still there.”

“Thanks, Mikasa,” he sighed, a small weight being lifted off his shoulders. 

Thank God for Mikasa. She was always willing to drop everything when it came to Eren. At first, it had been worrying, her dedication to him seeming to be more than a familial bond, even though Eren had assured him otherwise. Thankfully her oppressiveness eased up the longer Levi dated him. The more he proved that he could take care of Eren, the less she breathed down his neck. A year into dating and she finally accepted him, backing off so that their relationship could flourish without her overbearing protectiveness getting in the way.

“Of course.”

The line went silent and Levi placed his phone onto the coffee table, slumping into the couch as he thought about where he went wrong. 

When Levi had found out Eren was planning on going out again, choosing a night out with friends over quality time with him, it had hurt. More than he would’ve anticipated. Erwin and Hange had given him advice like it would be so easy—he hadn’t been expecting to be flat out rejected.

Worse yet, he couldn't even go with Eren, couldn’t spend time with him in that way. Levi wasn’t a fan of parties or big social gatherings, rather spending the evening at home or with an intimate group of friends. But if it meant getting to be with his boyfriend, he’d grin and bear it, suck up his social anxiety and face the absurd amount of people that existed outside the comfort of his home just so he could be with Eren.

But he couldn’t and that was the problem. That realization had soured his mood the moment it hit him and as a result, he’d been cold to Eren all evening. Is that why he didn’t come home? Was Eren inadvertently punishing him? Surely Eren knew he wasn’t  _ trying  _ to be a dick. It’s just that he’d been hurt by the rejection, allowing Eren’s ‘no’ to sink his thoughts into a sea of negativity, pulling him under the dark waves of his uncertainty.

All Levi had wanted was to spend the evening with his boyfriend. Do something outside the boring comforts of their home. And Eren had stepped on his desires without even giving it a second thought. 

Maybe he was overreacting or maybe even being a little dramatic on his part. But he couldn’t help it. This semester had Levi feeling like they were drifting apart and he desperately wanted to anchor their relationship in something concrete to keep it from floating away.

So if—no,  _ when _ —Eren got home, he would try and stitch whatever rift had formed between them, lest it tear into something deeper.

When his phone buzzed harshly against the coffee table, it was like a godsend. Heart lurching into his throat, he leaned forward to answer it, Mikasa’s name flashing across the screen.

“Yeah?”

“I found him. He was passed out on the couch,” she said, the slightest hint of irritation in her usually calm voice.

Relief flooded through him and he sagged back onto the sofa. “I see,” he said, closing his eyes. Everything was fine, he’d just been overreacting. He could vaguely hear Eren's low voice in the background, but he couldn’t make out what he was saying. He was alive and well—that’s all that mattered. 

“I can bring him home.”

_ “Can I talk to him?”  _ he heard Eren say in the background. 

There was muffling over the speaker and then a quiet, “No, this isn’t a conversation to have over the phone.”

While Levi was slightly disappointed Mikasa wasn’t going to let them talk, he knew he’d get to say his piece once Eren got home. And it would be better when they could do it face to face. It also gave him more time to figure out exactly what he wanted to say.

“Thanks again Mikasa,” Levi sighed into the receiver before hanging up and pocketing his phone.

His house wasn’t far from the university so he knew they’d be there in a couple of minutes, as long as they didn’t make any stops along the way. And knowing that Eren was fine ensured Levi enough peace that he was able to pull himself up from the couch so he could start making breakfast.

As usual, he turned on the coffee maker, the machine heating up with a low groan while he placed a kettle full of water on the stove so he could brew his tea. It was rare that Levi ever got hungover, never allowing himself to get drunk enough to experience the after-effects. But he remembered the grueling headaches and nausea that always came the morning after a hard night of drinking. 

Whenever he was too sick to function, he’d eat something greasy, something so unhealthy it was sure to clog his arteries. Even though he was annoyed with Eren’s lack of consideration, he wanted to clear the air, make things right after their short worded evening the night before. So he pulled out a pound of bacon and fried it up in a pan, using the leftover grease to fry up some eggs. It wasn’t the most unhealthy breakfast ever, but it would likely get the job done. 

The front door rattled open and the faintest jingling of keys reached Levi all the way in the kitchen. He stopped what he was doing, taking the pan off the heat, before he stepped towards the living room.

“Levi?” Eren called, his voice hoarse. 

He followed the sound of his voice, leaning against the archway separating the two rooms, slipping his hands into the comfort of his sweatshirt pocket. “Hey,” he mumbled, his eyes slowly raking up and down Eren’s body. His clothes were completely wrinkled and his hair was a mess, sticking out every which way. Those usually bright green eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles lining them. “You look like shit,” he added on.

Eren looked down at himself with a frown as he ran a hand through his hair in a poor attempt to straighten it out. “I think I’m still a little drunk,” he admitted, albeit reluctantly. 

Levi sighed, pushing away from the archway, heading back into the kitchen. “Come eat some breakfast. It should help.”

Eren followed him into the kitchen without another word. The air was thick between them, the silence deafening as Levi plated up some eggs and bacon, pouring him a cup of coffee. Even with what time he had to think of something to say, he was at a loss for words. Having Eren’s heavy presence hanging over him made it difficult to put thoughts into words.

He slid the plate of food and the mug of coffee across the countertop to Eren, avoiding his gaze.

“Are you mad?” Eren finally broke the silence.

Levi shrugged as he poured himself a cup of tea. “I was worried.”

“I can take care of myself, you know.” There was an air of irritation to his words but they lacked the usual flare, his eyes unusually tired.

“Yeah, it really looks like it,” Levi huffed as he grabbed his mug by the rim, taking a long sip of the hot Earl Gray.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eren asked, chomping off a bite of bacon, a scowl furrowing his brow. 

“It means exactly what it sounds like.”

Eren rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. “Can’t you just say what you’re thinking and be done with it? I’m too tired to try and interpret your thoughts and feelings right now.”

Is that what Eren thought? That it was a chore to try and understand him? While Levi wanted nothing more than to have a civil conversation, Eren was making it exceedingly difficult to keep his cool. He always did know how to rile Levi up the most. 

“You come home at nine in the morning, looking like a hot mess, half drunk, and say you can take care of yourself? Well I don’t fucking believe that because I pretty much do everything for you and you’re constantly taking advantage of it,” Levi ranted, his blood flaring underneath his usually cool skin.

“I never asked you to do that. And I don’t need you to. Like I said, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Is that right?” Levi frowned, clicking his tongue and looking away. Well if that’s how it was going to be, then that’s what Eren would get. Without another word, he picked up Eren’s plate and dumped all the food into the trash can, slamming the lid shut.

“What are you doing?” Eren gaped.

“You can make your own fucking breakfast.”

With that, Levi took the coffee cup and empty plate to the sink, dumping the hot liquid down the drain, tossing them into the basin with a loud clank.

“You’re being really fucking childish right now,” Eren said, the legs of the bar stool scraping against the hardwood floors as he stood.

“I’m being childish?” Levi repeated, turning to look up at the man looming above him. “You’re being an asshole.”

“How am I an asshole?”

Levi scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Your head is so far up your ass it’s honestly quite impressive.” He reached for his tea, allowing the familiar warmth of the ceramic to calm his agitated nerves. Then, without even looking at Eren, he walked into the living room, not wanting to deal a moment longer with Eren’s attitude.

“Levi, would you stop and just talk to me for fuck’s sake,” Eren called after him, following him into the other room.

He turned around on his heel, his gaze landing on Eren’s fiery green eyes. They were bright and vibrant, a stark contrast of how they looked just moments ago. There was something about his look that sparked something deep inside of Levi and warmth spread out from his chest, all the way down to his fingertips. Even when they were fighting, that passionate fire in Eren’s eyes always managed to steal his breath away. It’s one of the many reasons he fell in love with him. That, and the positively vibrant energy that he always exuded, even when they were at each other's throats.

In those eyes were a depth of care that was otherworldly, foreign and bizarre. It never occurred to Levi that someone could look at him like  _ that _ —with so much passion and warmth that it made his bones practically melt. Because nobody has ever looked at him the way that Eren did, the warm glow of affection that followed that fiery gaze made Levi feel alive—made him feel like he could take on the world with only Eren at his side. 

And within that fire was a determination unlike any other. A determination to understand and make things right. Because even though Eren could be an ass, he deeply cared about Levi. It was evident in the ways he showered him in affections. How he took great care to keep their shared space clean and orderly even though such things weren’t as important to Eren. How he fought for their relationship with tooth and nail even when things were difficult because they were both incredibly stubborn people with control issues. And while it wasn’t as grandiose as elaborate displays of love, his small acts of kindness were proof enough of his devotion.

So Levi took a deep breath, allowing that fiery gaze to overpower the anger boiling in his blood. He stood there, letting himself stare deeply into those dazzling eyes, resetting himself into the state of peace he had been in prior to Eren coming home. There was no reason for them to fight. And Eren had been right about one thing—it was childish of him to behave in such a petty and defensive way. He needed to get back on track, to smooth things out before things got any worse.

“I don’t like that you didn’t come home last night,” he finally admitted. Speaking his truth made him uncomfortable, anxiety coiling under the surface as he bared his soul to Eren. But it was the only way to make things right. Eren needed to know what Levi was thinking and feeling—the good and the bad. “Especially because you didn’t text me or anything.”

“I know,” Eren sighed, any traces of his anger dissipating as his shoulders slumped forward. “It was an accident, honestly. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Still, you freaked me out, Eren. I didn’t know what the fuck happened to you.”

“Well, I’m fine. Nothing happened.”

Levi scoffed, realizing that Eren wasn’t necessarily  _ wrong _ . Yes, he was fine and nothing bad happened. But that didn’t mean that what he did was  _ right _ . If communication was key in any relationship, then Eren needed to pull his weight as well. “If you’re going to make a habit of going out, you need to do better at communicating with me about it. Don’t tell me only hours before that you’re going out. Also you need to tell me if you’re going to come home or not. I don’t like surprises.”

Silence hung in the air as Eren considered what he said, his mouth popping open several times as if he was about to say something and then at the last second he changed his mind.

“That’s… fair, I guess,” he finally said, a mild reluctance in his tone.

Was there something wrong with asking Eren to simply communicate more? He didn’t think so. But then again, Eren didn’t like being controlled or told what to do. The fact that he accepted his condition with such grace was surprising. Apparently he was going to put in an effort to make this work as well, which was reassuring.

“So,” Levi sighed, breaking away from Eren’s heavy stare. “What now?”

Eren shrugged. “I dunno. I feel like shit and kinda want to go back to bed.”

Of course he did. Judging by the bags under his eyes, he probably didn’t get much sleep. Especially since Mikasa had abruptly woken him up before he was good and ready.

“Right.” 

“Will you come with me?”

While Levi wasn’t particularly tired, he didn’t want to deny Eren, not after their little fight. Especially because he wasn’t sure he had rightfully patched things up like he had wanted to. There were still the lingering touches of dread coiling deep within his gut, making his skin prickle. Something was off between them, he just didn’t know  _ what _ .

“Yeah,” he conceded, hoping that his agreement would make Eren smile. But he was only met with a tired and impassive stare.

And as they climbed the stairs to their bedroom, Eren stripping down into his underwear before crawling into bed, Levi wondered what exactly he needed to do to make things right between them. He situated himself next to his boyfriend, sitting up against the headboard as Eren snuggled into his side, his arm draping over his lap.

“Are we good?” Levi asked, uncertainty tightening his chest. The things that Eren had said in the kitchen had him thinking.

Eren looked up at him through thick eyelashes, drowsiness evident in the softness of his eyes. “Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?”

Levi shrugged. There had been something chilling about their fight that he just couldn’t place. But he didn’t know how to voice his concerns. “Just making sure,” he sighed. “Get some sleep.”

Eren hummed softly as his eyes slid shut, his arms squeezing Levi closer. It was only a manner of minutes before Eren drifted off into sleep. And in the quietness of their bedroom, Levi sat awake, mindlessly stroking back soft brown hair as he watched Eren dream. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi go on a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'ello! It's update day, yay! Not much to say other than here's some fluff for you all to enjoy. I actually wrote this while fighting with my fiance so I'm surprised it came out as sweet as it did. 
> 
> We love living vicariously through my favorites boys to find a little bit of happiness during tough times lol
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading. Appreciate all the love and support <3 
> 
> Enjoy!

“How do I look?” Eren asked, spreading his arms out as he stepped away from the closet.

Levi looked up from his phone, sitting up on the bed as he appraised Eren. He was wearing a white crew neck with a deep green jacket over it and black skinny jeans that had holes at the knees with pristine white vans. The outfit was casual, and yet he looked well put together, his usually unkempt hair tied back into a bun, several strands falling loose around his face.

In comparison, Levi wore a muted blue sweater that Eren always said brought out the dark blue of his predominantly grey eyes, paired with a pair of his black slim-fit jeans—though his were free of any holes or tears. 

Their taste in clothing was very different. While Eren always chose to dress casually, his outfits reflecting his carefree nature, Levi chose a more reserved and clean look.

Levi stood, approaching Eren, his eyes trailing slowly up and down his body. With all those layers on, he looked so soft and huggable even though he knew there was nothing but hard muscle underneath all his layers. Unable to resist the urge to indulge himself, he slipped his hands underneath his jacket, wrapping his arms around his waist as he buried his face against the soft fabric of his shirt.

“You look good,” he sighed, breathing in the scent of fresh laundry. 

Eren’s arms encircled his back, his large hand splayed out between his shoulder blades as he pressed Levi’s body closer to him, humming with contentment. “Thanks, so do you,” he said, pulling away ever so slightly so he could look down at him, soft green eyes slowly flicking over Levi’s face. “That color looks good on you.”

Levi felt his cheeks warm up and he quickly looked away. Even after three years of dating, Eren’s compliments always managed to throw him off guard. Praise wasn’t something he was used to hearing. He grew up without the guidance of a father and his mother died when he was still young, leaving him to be raised by someone hardly fit to be a parent. It left him clueless in the ways of what a loving relationship was supposed to look like. It’s why when Eren looked at him with such softness, his reverent touches worshiping his body, he felt so incredibly flustered.

“Let’s go, or we’ll be late for the movie,” Levi said, pulling away from the warm embrace of his lover.

Eren frowned, and yet his eyes were alight with excitement. They finally found time for their date, and when Levi told Eren that he had a whole evening planned out for them, he had lit up like the stars at night.

“Can I drive?” Eren asked, a cheeky little smile on his lips.

Levi rolled his eyes and began heading towards the stairs. “Not a chance.”

“Awww c’mon, Levi. You never let me drive anywhere. You planned everything tonight, let me drive so you can just relax on the way there.”

As he descended the stairs, he considered Eren’s proposal, weighing his options. It’s not like Eren was a particularly  _ bad _ driver, but he wasn’t good either. He was extremely reckless and loved to speed, dominating the road like other drivers didn’t exist. Besides, Levi preferred to drive. It was relaxing to feel the hum of the motor buzzing as he accelerated with a smoothness that Eren failed to employ.

But when Levi turned around to look at Eren, he was met with a pleading gaze that could bring even the sternest dictator to his knees.

“Fine,” Levi huffed, grabbing his light grey peacoat from the closet and slipping it on. It was still early autumn, and yet the temperature had dropped considerably over the weekend. Leaves were already starting to fall to the ground, even though they had just begun to turn orange and yellow.

Eren smiled, the brightness of it practically blinding him and he couldn’t help himself from smirking in return. “You won’t regret it.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

Grabbing the keys to Levi’s Mercedes-Benz, Eren opened up the front door, holding it open as Levi stepped outside. It was still relatively light out, the sun making it feel warmer than it was. But the cool breeze whipping around him made him grateful for the coat, a small shiver running down his spine as Eren placed his hand on the small of his back, leading them over to the black coupe parked in the long driveway.

“Jeez who drove this last, a child?” Eren teased as he attempted to climb into the driver’s seat, half sticking out as the electric motor slowly pushed the seat back.

Levi scoffed as he climbed into the passenger seat, closing the door a little more harshly than intended as he narrowed his gaze at Eren. “Keep talking shit and I’ll take away your driving rights.”

“Oh yeah? And how are you going to do that? I have the keys and I’m already in the driver’s seat, so—” 

“Keep talking and you’ll find out.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No, it’s an invitation to go frolicking through the leaves,” Levi said as he rolled his eyes, sarcasm thick in his tone as he sat back and fastened his seatbelt.

“Oh,” Eren huffed, sitting back in his seat as he pressed the ignition, the car purring to life. “Well, that’s not as fun.”

Eren revved the six-cylinder engine, a low steady growl vibrating the seats. He peered at Levi from the corner of his eye, a cocky little smirk on his face.

“Eren,” Levi warned, his brows drawing down into a stern line as excitement gleamed in green eyes.  _ Shit.  _ Letting Eren drive was a mistake, wasn’t it?

“What?” Eren smiled, looking down the driveway to the quiet and empty suburban side street, one hand gripping the steering wheel while the other rested on the gear shift. The gleam in his eyes told Levi all he needed to know. The brat was going to peel out of the driveway like a madman.

And as much as he wanted to admonish him, to tell him not to do it, he didn’t want to ruin his fun. It’s not like Levi let him drive his car often, if ever. One night out wasn’t going to kill him. 

_ Maybe. _

“Try not to get us killed on the way there, yeah?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

And with that, Eren put it into first gear, whipping out of the driveway and into the street, revving the engine and throwing it into second and then third, speeding down the long and narrow street until he hit a red light.

A wide smile slowly spread across his face and he turned to Levi. “Where are we going again?” he asked, vibrant energy radiating out from him. It was nice seeing Eren have fun. Levi was glad that he could make him so alight with joy with such a small thing like letting him drive his car.

“The movie theater in Oldtown.”

Eren nodded and as soon as the light turned green, he was speeding off again, weaving through cars with reckless abandon as Levi watched the city pass by in a blur.

* * *

The old movie theatre downtown was outdated in design but it had a certain charm about it. The interior lobby had bright red paisley carpeting, gold-painted walls, and bright lights that surrounded old movie posters. Other than the low hum of employees chatting with the handful of customers, it was relatively quiet, only a few people out on a Sunday evening to see some overhyped action movie.

Levi didn’t care much about seeing this movie, but Eren had been talking about it for weeks, praising it for its intricate action scenes and impressive A-list cast. To Levi, it looked like just another action film with a lackluster plot and a shit ton of fanservice.

With a big tub of popcorn and a large coke in hand, Eren led the way to the theater, picking the seats in the back where no one was around to bother them.

There were still a few minutes to spare before the movie started, and yet the room was relatively empty. Levi preferred it that way. Too many people made the chances for a crying baby or kid on their cell phone to ruin the film.

They settled into their seats and Eren passed the popcorn over to Levi who took it and mindlessly picked at it, the buttery and salty combination downright addicting. Eren sunk back in his seat, resting his feet on the chair in front of him as he pulled out his phone, flicking through his apps far too quickly for Levi to keep up.

He sighed, looking away from Eren, trying not to be nosey. Though he could see from the corner of his eye that he was texting someone now and he was curious as to who it was. 

Levi leaned over the armrest casually looking at Eren’s phone as he went to take a drink from Eren’s coke. Taking the straw sticking out of the plastic cup clutched in Eren’s hand, he took a long sip, fizzy bubbles sliding across his tongue as he spotted the name  _ Ymir _ at the top of the text thread.

“Hey,” Eren said, pulling the cup away from him. “That’s mine.”

Levi leaned back in his seat and narrowed his gaze at Eren. “I paid for it.”

“Yeah, but you bought it for  _ me. _ You could’ve gotten your own.”

“I don’t want my own. I want yours.”

“But you’re going to drink it all and I’ll have nothing left.”

“Who’s Ymir?” he asked suddenly, silently cursing at himself as the question slipped off his tongue. He wasn’t going to ask, but his curiosity was getting the better of him.

“Nobody,” Eren said, defensively. Levi raised an eyebrow at that, and Eren visibly deflated. “She’s a friend from school.”

_ Ymir. _ The name sounded incredibly familiar. “Ymir Fritz?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?” Eren looked surprised.

“She’s a student of mine. She doesn’t know about us, does she?”

Eren didn’t say anything as he peered at Levi from the corner of his eye, a frown pulling down the corner of his mouth. His expression said all that he needed to know.

Levi sighed, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Eren, what were you thinking? What if she reports me?”

“She won’t, I promise. She’s not that kind of person.”

Levi could vaguely picture Ymir in his head. The girl always sat at the front of the class, ready to argue with anyone willing to debate with her. While she had a seemingly innocent-looking face, there was nothing sweet or innocent about her, those blue eyes more chilling than Erwin’s. There was something about her that rubbed Levi the wrong way. He couldn’t simply accept that she wouldn’t report him just because Eren believed that she wasn’t ‘that kind of person’.

“How do you know? How long have you even known this girl?” 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Like a week.”

“A week?” Levi gaped, sitting up in his seat, several kernels of popcorn falling onto the floor. “You’ve known her a week and you told her we were dating?”

Eren scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t do it on purpose. She saw the picture on my phone and recognized you.”

Levi groaned, sinking back in the chair, staring at the white speckled ceiling tiles.  _ Unbelievable.  _ “I told you to take that picture off.”

“But I like it.” Eren held up his phone, the picture of himself staring back at him. “You’re so pretty.”

“You know I could get fired if she decides to say anything, right?” Too annoyed to let that compliment get to him.

He sagged in his seat, shoulders slumping as he let his phone fall back into his lap. “I know, I’m sorry, it was an accident.”

“Just change the background okay?” He couldn’t stay mad at Eren, not when they were supposed to have a nice evening out together. So he mustered up the softest of smiles which seemed to brighten Eren’s eyes, that beautiful green hue gleaming in the low light of the theater. 

And before anything else could be said, the lights were dimming completely, the screen going dark before it lit up again with an image that asked everyone to silence their cellphones. Levi looked over at Eren who was still on his phone while the movie screen transitioned over into showing the previews.

Eren reached over for a handful of popcorn, shoving it in his mouth as he continued to text this Ymir girl. Levi frowned, ignoring the previews flashing across the screen as he opted for staring down Eren who didn’t even seem to notice he was looking at him. After several minutes of the bright screen of Eren’s phone blinding him in the dark room, he had about enough. Taking several kernels of popcorn into his hand, he threw them at Eren’s face.

“Hey,” he whined, putting his phone down to fix a scowl at Levi. “What was that for?”

“Get off your phone.”

“I’m just sending a quick text and then I will.”

Levi sighed, resting his chin in his hand as he leaned against his armrest. “Do you not want to spend time with me or something?”

“What do you mean? We’re spending time together right now.”

“No, you’re on your phone off in fucking neverland while I’m here being ignored.”

“Well, now you know how I feel when you’re doing work stuff at home.”

Levi stiffened. “It’s not the same and you know it.”

Eren scoffed, and he could see that he was shaking his head from the soft glow of his phone screen. “How is it not the same?”

“You know I have work to do at home. I can’t help it. We’re supposed to be spending time together right now. You can choose to put your phone away for a few hours,” he sighed. “Just indulge me for once?”

Eren rolled his eyes, pocketing his phone. “Fine.”

They settled into silence as the movie started, the blaring music drowning out the crunch of popcorn. It started just like any other action movie with an attention-grabbing scene, and Levi found himself zoning out as he watched the figures on the screen completing intricate fight sequences.

About halfway through the movie, Eren shifted, catching Levi’s attention as he sat up and put his feet on the floor. He reached for the armrest separating them and lifted it, grabbing the half-eaten popcorn and setting it on the ground. Levi looked over at him, an eyebrow quirked in a question but Eren didn’t say anything, just pulled him into his side as he draped his arm around Levi’s shoulders

They sat like that for a while, Eren’s fingers idly rubbing small circles into his arm. The small motion lulled him into a state of relaxation, and he forgot all about how Eren had slipped up and told Ymir about their relationship. Forgot how Eren seemed more interested in his phone than him. At that moment it was just him and Eren and nothing else mattered.

“Levi?” Eren whispered, his hot breath fanning the top of his forehead.

Levi turned, angling his head back so he could look up at Eren. “Hm?”

It was dark in the theater and yet with how close their faces were to each other, he could see the softest look in Eren’s eyes, his lips quirked in a small smile. Their lips were mere inches from each other. All he had to do was lean forward and he could taste those sweet lips with his own.

But Eren beat him to it, leaning down and pressing his mouth against Levi’s as his hand cradled his jaw, his thumb brushing softly across his cheek. Those tender lips coaxed his mouth open and Eren’s tongue brushed against his own. He made a soft sound in the back of his throat as a warmth spread across his chest down and his pulse quickened against his neck. 

Needing to feel more of him, Levi sat up, deepening their kiss as he tangled his fingers into Eren’s silky hair. He pulled him closer, slipping his tongue further into Eren’s mouth, swallowing up his quiet groan as Levi pressed against him. That soft little sound stirred something dark within his abdomen and he could feel himself tightening against his jeans.

Suddenly, Eren’s hand slid down Levi’s arm, finding his hip, his fingers pressing harshly into his skin. As his other hand slid down his neck, trailing languidly down his chest, his cock twitched for attention. But just as he neared the growing erection trapped in Levi’s pants, he pulled away, licking his lips as he looked up at Eren with hooded eyes.

“You’re missing the movie,” Levi sighed, his breathing slightly erratic from the arousal coursing through his veins.

Eren squeezed his hip, growling low as he smirked at Levi. “So?”

Levi looked at the seats below them, several heads scattered amongst them. There weren't many people in the theater. Yet someone could still turn around and see them if they made too much noise.

While he was turned away, Eren took the opportunity to press several hungry kisses across his jaw, his tongue flicking over the shell of his ear. “Nobody will see us,” he whispered, his breath tickling the wet skin on his ear, making Levi shiver with unbidden desire.

Levi pulled away, eyeing the lustful look darkening Eren’s gaze. He looked so sexy in the lowlight of the theater, his eyes blown wide with desire, lips wet and parted and so damn enticing. 

_ Fuck it. _

He grabbed Eren’s face and pulled him down for a kiss that tasted like sweet desperation, their tongues sliding across each other as they messily sucked and nipped at each other’s mouths. With each press of their lips, a heady hunger swelled inside of him, his cock straining within his pants, making his skin feel too tight.

Eren’s hand slid across his clothed bulge, the muted friction making him buzz with anticipation. It was all becoming too much. He needed Eren to touch him before he lost his mind.

Sensing Levi's growing need, Eren managed to unbutton his pants without breaking their kiss, slipping his hand inside his loosened clothing. His long fingers found his throbbing length, pulling it out of his boxers as he curled his fingers around it, giving it an experimental tug.

The sudden friction sent a thrill up Levi’s spine, making him groan softly into Eren’s mouth. That small noise seemed to encourage him, his hand moving fervently up and down his cock as he sucked on Levi’s bottom lip, the sensation making his head spin as his heart pounded in his chest.

Eren suddenly broke away from their kiss, letting Levi catch his breath as he moved to suck harshly on his neck, his teeth grazing against his soft skin. His thumb brushed over the tip of his cock, spreading precum down the side of his length, the teasing touch to his sensitive head making him shudder with pleasure.

“You have such a pretty cock,” Eren murmured against his jaw, his hot breath fanning his wet neck. “I just want to suck on it.”

God, Levi wanted that too—more than anything. He didn’t even care that there were people in the room with him. Didn't care that someone could easily turn around and catch them in their act of indecency. In fact, the risk made it all the more exciting.

“Then do it,” he choked out as Eren’s fist continued to stroke him, the pressure building up in his cock making him ache for more. 

Eren pulled back, his hand sliding down his length to cradle his base, a slow smile creeping onto his face. He turned in his seat, leaning over Levi’s torso, his height making it a bit of an awkward angle, but he managed to get situated nonetheless. And as his tongue flicked out over his tip, Levi bit his lip, struggling to hold back the moan that threatened to spill out of him. 

Needing to hold on to something to ground himself, Levi’s hand slid up Eren’s spine, his fingers teasing the back of his neck before tangling into his long hair. He rested his other elbow against the armrest, his fingers pressing against his mouth as he watched Eren take his cock into his mouth.

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath as his cock was swallowed up by his velvety warmth. Seeing his man hunched over him, cheeks hollow as he pulled up on his length had Levi’s head swimming with unadulterated lust, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. It was going to be more difficult to stay quiet than he originally anticipated.

Eren’s smooth tongue swirled up his length and around his tip as he slowly bobbed up and down. His lips slid sensually over his soft skin, drawing a low groan from Levi’s throat, his eyes fluttering shut as heat pooled in his core. A trickle of drool dripped onto his thigh as he jerked his hips upward into that inviting heat, and Eren firmly grabbed his hips, pressing him harshly into the seat. Levi gasped as Eren teasingly dragged his teeth against the underside of his length, his fingers tightening in Eren’s hair as he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to hold back the moans that wanted to fall freely from his tongue.

But Eren was just getting started, that skilled mouth and tongue gliding across his length with practiced ease. Pulling back, he slid off his cock with a pop of his lips, turning around to stare at Levi as his hand spread around the spit saturating his length. Hooded green eyes trailed over Levi’s face, a coy smirk curling his lip.

“Does that feel good?”

Levi nodded his head, afraid that if he spoke he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from moaning.

Eren hummed, leaning back over him, taking his whole length inside of his mouth until his tip hit the back of his throat. Completely engulfed by his warmth, Levi’s entire body tensed as pure heat coursed through his veins. A loud moan ripped from his mouth at the same time an explosion blasted across the screen. He stiffened as he looked out at the seats below him but nobody seemed to notice and he was thankful for the sudden action scene to drown out the sound of his bliss.

The pressure building up in his cock was making it difficult to think clearly and he was slowly losing himself to the mind-numbing feeling of Eren’s velvety cheeks swallowing him up. Just as he was getting closer to his climax, Eren’s slicked-up hand slid further into his pants and he cradled his balls, giving him a soft squeeze as he took his length to the back of his throat once more.

The combination was too much to handle—the heat pooling in his core threatening to spill over. With fingers desperately clutching Eren’s hair, the back of his hand pressing hard against his mouth, his whole body jerked as a white-hot heat overtook him. It completely filled him up to the point of bursting and his cock twitched as he came hard into the back of Eren’s throat. A muffled moan, drowned out by the sound of gunfire blasting over the speakers, escaped past his hand, his breathing stuttered as Eren milked his cock for everything it had, his tongue lapping up the cum spilling from his tip.

“Eren,” he choked out, pulling on Eren’s hair as his tongue continued to tease his over-sensitive tip. “That’s enough.” As good as it felt, it was becoming overwhelming, his body buzzing with a heady fire that made every little touch and lick feel like he was drowning in pure ecstasy.

Eren hummed, the vibration of his low voice going straight through Levi’s cock and into his chest, his heart beating wildly like a hummingbird’s wings. As he came down from his high, his cock starting to go soft inside Eren's mouth, he finally pulled off of him, the final flick of his tongue making his whole body twitch. Eren chuckled softly under his breath, fixing Levi’s underwear and buttoning him back up.

“That was fun,” he murmured, leaning back towards Levi. Taking his chin in his hand, Eren claimed his mouth with his own, his tongue sliding sensually over Levi’s. He was met with the salty flavor of his cum on Eren’s tongue and couldn't help but hum in satisfaction. It was a small thing, but it validated the fact that Eren was Levi’s—and that knowledge made his heart swell with pride and affection. In a soft attempt to show his appreciation, he brushed his fingers delicately over Eren’s cheek as he pressed one last kiss to his lips before pulling away.

“What about you?” Levi asked, his eyes trailing down to the obvious erection trapped in Eren’s pants.

Eren smirked but shook his head. “I’ll get mine later when there aren’t so many prying eyes to see all the things I want to do to you.”

Heat spread across his skin and despite his orgasm mere moments ago, his blood flared with arousal. Leave it to Eren to make him feel like a horny teenager all over again. 

Eren pressed a soft kiss onto Levi’s forehead before sitting back in his seat, pulling him down into his side. He willingly leaned into him, his head resting against his shoulder as his hand curled into his soft shirt.

Despite the rumbling of the explosions and gunfire blaring across the screen, Levi found himself incredibly relaxed, his muscles loose, his eyes heavy. His mind was buzzing with bliss as he settled into Eren’s warmth. The lack of sleep from his insomnia was catching up to him and his eyes began to droop as Eren lazily stroked back his hair, his fingers brushing gently against his scalp, lulling him to sleep.

* * *

“I can’t believe you fell asleep during an action movie,” Eren said as he blew on the hot coffee in his hand.

Levi peered up at the man walking next to him, a to-go cup of tea clutched between both his hands as he tried to warm them up. “The plot was stupid.”

“People don’t watch action movies for the plot.”

“Evidently,” Levi scoffed, giving Eren a pointed look. “They apparently don’t watch them for the action either.”

Eren laughed. “Guess not.”

They walked side by side down the sidewalk, a string of lights hanging between the tall buildings. It was like a thousand little fireflies flew overhead, illuminating their path. It was incredibly peaceful—the evening breeze blowing gently through the nearly empty street. 

Oldtown was usually bustling with people. But with it being on the colder side and a Sunday night, the city was relatively quiet. And amongst the old buildings and street lamps, it was as if it was just the two of them in a city with thousands upon thousands of people.

Levi dropped one of his hands to his side, his fingers brushing against the back of Eren’s hand. He looked down at Levi, a soft smile on his lips as he took his smaller hand into his larger one, lacing their fingers together. A tender warmth spread up his arm, to his chest, and he couldn’t help the contented smile that curled his lip. 

Enjoying the silence of the night, they continued down the sidewalk, hand in hand. Eventually, Levi pulled him down a side street, leading them away from the main thoroughfare.

“Where are we going?” Eren asked.

“You’ll see,” Levi said. It wasn’t much, but the view of the river at night was beautiful and he wanted to share it with Eren. They didn’t get out much and with Eren being from Shiganshina, there was still so much in Trost he had yet to see. He wanted to show him all of his favorites spots if he could. 

The river finally came into view, the dark water reflecting the city lights that shined brightly on the other side. The tall buildings of the skyline stretched into the night sky like fingers reaching out for something to grab hold of. And above it all, the moon shined brilliantly, pale light bleeding into the night sky and turning it a dark blue.

“Here,” Levi said, leading Eren down a set of stairs that connected to a wide walkway that was adorned with lush vegetation and lights that wrapped around lamp posts and iron wrought railing. 

As he got closer to the water, the breeze picked up, a chill running down his spine making him shiver. To combat the cold, he took a long sip of his tea, the bitter liquid warming him from the inside.

“It’s so nice out here,” Eren said, his voice so soft he almost missed what he said.

Levi hummed in agreement, leaning against the railing as he looked out at the shimmering water, the reflection of the moon dancing with its steady movement.

Eren came up behind him, his arm wrapping around Levi’s waist as his other hand rested his coffee cup against the top of the railing. His chin pressed against the side of Levi’s head, and he leaned into him, comforted by the warmth surrounding him.

Sighing in contentment, Levi looked up at the sky, searching for the stars but they were nowhere to be seen, the light pollution from the city making them invisible to the eye. “It’s a shame we can’t see the stars from here,” he frowned.

“Yeah,” Eren sighed, squeezing Levi closer, their bodies separated only by a thick layer of their clothes. “But the moon is beautiful tonight.”

It really was. The pale light of the full moon shone down onto them, painting everything in a yellow glow. He looked up at it, knowing it was millions of miles away, and yet it felt so close to him like he could reach out and touch it if he wanted to.

Levi turned ever so slightly, looking up at Eren, his eyes trailing lazily over those soft features that were washed in the pale moonlight. “You know you never told me about the parties you went to.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to hear about them,” he said, peering down at him from the corner of his eye.

When it came to Eren, Levi wanted to know everything that was happening in his life. Not because he was distrusting or anything. No, he simply enjoyed talking to him, liked knowing every little detail of his boyfriend’s life. So it was odd that Eren didn’t think he’d be interested in hearing about his night out. 

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, feeling the curt movement against his back. “You seemed annoyed that I was going to them in the first place.”

Levi sighed. Of course he misread Levi’s worry as annoyance. It was no secret that he wasn’t the best at expressing himself. At least now he would be able to clear up the confusion. 

“I don’t care if you go to parties, as long as you don’t do anything stupid,” he explained. “I guess I’m just worried that you’re only going to them because you’re getting bored of me or something.”

“I’m not bored of  _ you. _ I just—” he cut off abruptly shaking his head, seemingly at a loss for words. After a long silence, he finally said, “You’ve been so busy with work lately we don’t get to hang out anymore.”

“I know,” he bowed his head as he picked at the cardboard sleeve wrapped around his cup. 

Levi thought he’d feel better knowing where the problem lied, but it only made him feel guilty. He couldn’t help that he was busy with work. There was absolutely nothing he could do about the workload that came with having to teach five classes. All he could do was make time for Eren whenever he had the chance and wait it out until the semester was over. Once spring came around, he could go back down to only teaching four classes—a much more manageable workload.

“But this is nice. I wish we could do this more,” Eren said, nuzzling his cheek against Levi’s. The gesture was wholesome, and his chest glowed with affection that warmed him all the way to his bones. 

“We can. I’ll make sure of it,” Levi said, turning to face Eren once more. 

“Good.” Eren smiled down at him, pressing the softest kiss against his lips. It was a simple gesture, and yet it felt so much deeper than  _ just a kiss _ . It was a seal to their declaration—a promise to do better by each other.

And Levi would try his best to keep that promise because Eren was worth fighting for.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. School has been a bit overwhelming for me this past week and it's probably just going to keep getting worse from here as the semester goes on (I'm currently student teaching and taking 16 credit hours. It's kind of a lot). BUT I still want to find the time to write because it keeps me sane and happy and I just love hearing from you guys--it really makes my whole day. Needless to say, my chapters may not come out as quickly as they once were since my life is getting kind of hectic. I'm still going to try my best to adhere to my weekly schedule but we shall see.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your kind words and feedback. I love reading your comments <3

It was another chilly day on campus and Eren walked briskly to his class, his black windbreaker barely staving off the autumn wind. The cold didn’t bother him all too much but the university quad was a wind tunnel, tucked low in a valley between buildings that funneled in cold air like a jetstream. While he had no desire to get to class early, he didn’t want to stay a moment longer outside.

“Hey, Eren!” a familiar voice called out. He turned towards the sound, his barely restrained hair whipping him in the face. A pair of blue eyes surrounded by braided blonde pigtails jogged towards him.

“Oh, hey Ymir,” he greeted casually, continuing his walk towards the humanities building.

“Just the gay man I was looking for.”

“What?” Eren turned to her, confusion clear on his face. What an odd thing to say. “Why?”

“There’s this new gay bar that opened up recently,” she said, her blue eyes lighting up with excitement. “They’re having a foam party tonight and I thought it’d be really fun if we checked it out.”

“A gay bar?” Eren repeated, chewing on the inside of his lip. He’d never been to a gay bar—hell he never really went to _any_ bar since he turned of age. People went to bars to hook up with strangers, and he’d been with Levi for most of his adult life. There was no need for it. “I don’t know…”

Ymir sighed. “Really, Eren? Why are you hesitating? Reiner and Bert will be there, maybe Annie, too. It’ll be fun!”

It’s not that he didn’t _want_ to go out with his new friends, it was just that he didn’t think Levi would approve of his choice in venue. It was no secret that Levi was a touch possessive, his jealousy shining through whenever someone showed Eren a little too much attention. While some people might find such behavior a turn off, Eren found it endearing. Just the thought that his boyfriend loved him so much to get protective over him made his heart flutter with satisfaction.

Though right now, it was proving to be a problem. Telling Levi he was going to go to a gay bar with his college friends was sure to piss him off.

“I just don’t think my boyfriend would like that very much,” he said, grimacing. He knew the moment he said that Ymir was going to give him shit. But he couldn’t lie to her—it was a huge concern of his, after all.

He saw her shake her head from the corner of her eye. “Well maybe if he’s so concerned, he should come out with you,” she paused, a slow smirk creeping onto her face. “Oh, wait—that’s right. He can’t, can he?”

“No need to rub it in my face,” he growled.

“This is why relationships are stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the hustle. You don’t have to work because of him. But he’s holding you back, Eren. Can’t you see that?”

His blood flared with heat, the cold a mere afterthought in the back of his mind as Ymir’s words had his teeth grinding together. “He’s not holding me back. Levi does nothing but build me up.”

“If that’s the case, you should be able to come out with me tonight.”

“I don’t think it’s that black and white, Ymir.”

She scoffed. “Going out with people your age is a college experience you don’t want to miss out on. You’ve been sheltered for far too long,” she said, opening the door as they slipped inside the humanities building. Hot, stuffy air rushed around him, making him too warm all of sudden. “And if Levi really is the _perfect_ man you make him out to be, then he’ll understand.”

Eren was quiet for a moment while he considered what she said. Levi did say the other night that he didn’t care if he went to parties, as long as he didn’t do anything stupid. Surely that applied to bars as well. And if it didn’t, who was Levi to tell Eren what he can and cannot do? Eren was his own person, able to make his own choices. Just because he was in a relationship didn’t mean he couldn’t go to a gay bar with some of his friends, right?

“If you’re so worried about it, don’t tell him,” Ymir said, shrugging.

“And what if he finds out? Lying would be worse than telling him.”

“Maybe. But who’s to say he’ll find out? He’s pretty old, isn’t he? I mean—does he even have social media?”

“He’s thirty-six, not some fucking boomer,” Eren said, rolling his eyes. “ _Yes_ , he has social media.”

“Just don’t post anything about it and you should be fine.”

Eren sighed, exasperated. “I don’t know.”

“Fine, then tell him you’re going to a gay bar tonight.” She threw her hands up dramatically in the air, smacking her thighs as they came back down. “Though, Ackerman doesn’t seem the type to be cool with it. Kinda seems like he has a stick up his ass,” she chuckled softly to herself, but the sound lacked any humor. “Honestly don’t know what you see in him.”

Eren breathed heavily out of his nose, trying to mask his irritation with a poor attempt at humor. “He’s got a nice ass?”

Ymir laughed loudly at that.

“No—,” he shook his head, a small smile curling his lip as he thought about his boyfriend, those soft grey eyes flashing in his mind. “He’s a good man. Caring right down to the core. He’s just not very good at expressing himself, is all.”

She nodded in understanding, humming thoughtfully to herself. “Well, I can’t tell you what to do. But I would like for you to come tonight. I’d hate to be the third wheel with Reiner and Bert.”

Eren wanted to go. He’d never been to a foam party, let alone a gay bar, and the thought of experiencing something new with his friends was an exciting prospect, but he couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his chest that he would be hurting Levi by doing so. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there,” Eren said, following her into their multicultural lit classroom. He didn’t have to tell Levi where he was going. And by not telling him, he was sparing him of the jealousy Eren was sure he’d feel. What Levi didn’t know, won’t hurt him, right? 

“Awesome,” she smirked, sitting down in her usual seat at the front of the class. 

Eren sat down next to her, even though he preferred to sit in the back. It felt right, sitting next to someone he could call an ally. Plus, it was kind of entertaining watching her debate with the professor.

“Wanna fill me in on the reading before class starts?” Eren asked, giving the woman a cheeky little smile.

Her cool blue eyes flicked over to him and then softened ever so slightly, shoulders sagging as she muttered her compliance. Of course, it also didn’t hurt having a classmate that was willing to help him slide by in a class he couldn’t care less about.

* * *

Levi sat at the kitchen island, his laptop open to the university grade book, a stack of student papers piled in front of him. He was about halfway through grading the shitty excuses for persuasive essays his students had turned in, his red pen putting in work as he corrected error after error. Groaning, he shook his head as he flipped another failed paper into the completed pile, taking a long sip of his tea, hoping it would soothe the headache pounding against his skull.

It didn’t.

Just as he was about to start reading the next paper, Eren came padding into the kitchen, drawing Levi’s attention. He perked up, eyes running appreciatively over his body, mouth watering at the sight of him—he looked like a damn snack. He was wearing ripped up black jeans that were tight around his ass and thighs, a dark green zip-up jacket covering up a white t-shirt that he couldn’t see much of. A hint of it peeked out from under his jacket and it looked nearly see-through, tan skin muted by the soft fabric. The neckline of the shirt was low cut, and with his hair tied up in a high bun, his long neck was exposed, looking far too delicious.

“Where are you going?” Levi asked, putting down his pen as he watched Eren dig through the fridge for a bottle of water, his eyes lingering on the curve of his ass. He licked his lips, his skin growing hot as his eyes trailed languidly up his backside. _Shit._ That man had no business looking so damn good on a Wednesday night. 

He cracked open the lid and took a long drink from it before wiping his mouth, looking at Levi. “I’m just going to go to Armin’s tonight.”

Levi quirked a brow at him. “Looking like that?”

“Looking like what?”

“Don’t play dumb. You look hot as fuck. And for what?”

Eren shrugged. “I just wanted to dress up. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” Levi grumbled into his teacup. “Except it looks like you're trying to get some ass tonight...” The thought of anyone touching Eren, let alone looking at him, made Levi’s blood flare, the little green monster inside of him slithering out to play.

Eren walked around the kitchen island, standing in front of Levi, a coy little smirk on his face. “Is that an offer, Levi?” he purred, leaning over him.

Levi scoffed, unable to look away from the tantalizing look in Eren’s eyes. “Maybe it would be. But aren’t you going somewhere?”

“I have some time,” Eren said, his tongue running languidly up the shell of Levi’s ear. “If we make it quick.”

A shiver ran down his spine, his mouth going dry as Eren’s hot breath fanned the wet trail of spit on his ear. “Eren…” Levi breathed, his hands trailing up his neck, tangling into the back of his hair. It was hard keeping his hands to himself when Eren looked so damn good hovering over him like that. “Where are you _actually_ going?”

“I told you—” Eren trailed several kissed down his neck, his teeth grazing against his soft flesh. “I’m just going to Armin’s.”

“Ah—” Levi gasped, Eren’s fingers sliding under his waistband, squeezing his backside. He swallowed thickly, trying to compose himself. “Why didn’t you say something earlier? I could’ve waited to grade these papers until you left and we could’ve hung out.”

Eren shrugged, pulling away from his neck, his lips wet and shiny. They looked so damn tempting. “It was kind of last minute.”

Levi rolled his eyes, trying to keep his horniness in check, but the swirl of desire heating his blood made it hard to think straight. He leaned forward, catching Eren’s lips with his, flicking his tongue into his mouth. Eren hummed, pulling him closer as he nipped at Levi’s bottom lip, his fingers digging harshly into his skin. He pressed between Levi’s legs, his hardening erection poking the inside of his thigh, and Levi instinctively arched his back, rutting against it as he felt his own length tightening inside of his pants.

Just as his mind began to lose itself to the tantalizing taste of Eren on his tongue, something harsh buzzed against his leg, tickling his already tingling thigh. The fuck? He pulled away, looking up at Eren who seemed completely unfazed.

“What?”

“You gonna answer that?” Levi asked, looking down at the phone tucked into his jeans.

“It can wait,” Eren said, his fingers snaking into Levi’s hair, pulling him in for another kiss. It was more desperate than before, Eren’s lips hungrily coaxing his mouth open as his tongue pressed into his mouth like he was dying of dehydration and Levi was his last drink of water.

A throaty moan slipped from his mouth and Eren hummed his approval as he held Levi in a vice grip, his fingers tugging harshly at his hair. Levi’s skin flushed as lust coursed heavily under his skin, his own hands grasping desperately at Eren’s arm and hip. All of his senses were drowned out by Eren’s heady presence, his pores swelling with his warmth, his lungs filling with his scent. 

“Eren I—” A loud horn blared from the front of the house, making both of them jump as they turned towards the sound. His phone started to vibrate against his leg again and this time, Eren reached for it, annoyance obvious in the furrow of his brow.

“What?” Eren barked into the receiver, running a hand through his hair, refusing to look Levi in the eye.

A muffled voice spoke on the other end, and Levi sat there, watching as Eren’s eye twitched in irritation. Why was he so pissed off? What was going on? Levi let go of Eren, sitting back on the barstool, trying to put some space between their bodies, allowing himself to clear his lust dazed head.

“You’re early.”

Those words made Levi stiffen. Early for what? Wasn’t he just going over to Armin’s house? Why was someone picking him up? So many questions filtered through his mind, anxiety beginning to overtake his desire.

Eren hung up his phone, slipping it back into his pocket. He finally looked at Levi, his eyes softening ever so slightly as a soft smirk curled his lip. “I gotta go.”

“I thought you were going to Armin’s,” Levi said, narrowing his gaze at him.

“I am. I’m just catching a ride with my friend.”

His friend? Levi couldn’t help but wonder if he was talking about Ymir.

“You’re acting weird.”

“What?” Eren laughed, patting Levi on the top of his head. “No, I’m not.”

“Are you going to be out late?” Levi asked, realizing he wasn’t going to get very far acting suspicious of his boyfriend. Eren wouldn’t take too kindly to that anyway. If he said he was going to Armin’s, then that’s what he was doing. There was no reason for Levi not to trust him. He’s always been honest with him before.

“Probably,” Eren said, pressing a quick kiss to Levi’s lips before stepping away. “Don’t wait up for me.”

Levi rolled his eyes. Like he’d be able to sleep anyways. “Be careful.”

“Of course,” Eren said with a big smile. “Bye, Levi!”

With that, Eren left, leaving Levi alone in the kitchen, feeling confused and way too horny.

_Great._

* * *

“Can I buy you a drink?” 

A deep voice came up from behind him, slightly muffled by the drone of the bass overhead. And yet, Eren heard his unwelcomed question clear as day, making him tense. Jaw clenched in irritation, he turned to look at the man leaning up against the bar next to him.

He was pretty average looking—sandy blonde hair that was slicked back with gel, his narrow eyes paired with the dark lighting hiding the color of his irises. He had soft facial features, curved up in a soft smile as he looked up at Eren, who was just a couple inches taller than him. 

“That’s alright,” Eren said, turning away from him as he tried to flag down the bartender. The bar was crowded and they were packed shoulder to shoulder as they all fought over the attention of the three people who held the key to all of the alcohol.

The man laughed, sliding closer to Eren, invading his personal space as if it wasn’t already nonexistent. “Why not? It’s just one drink.”

Eren frowned, refusing to look at the man who was practically burning a hole into the side of his head with how intensely he was staring. There had been plenty of times throughout his life that he had been hit on—it’s not like this was something new to him. But usually, Levi was always there next to him to scare anyone off. Whenever someone brave enough mustered up the courage to approach Eren, they were always sent away with their tail between their legs the moment that Levi set his signature glare onto them.

This was different. Levi wasn’t here to keep the creeps at bay. He was going to have to fend for himself.

“Look,” Eren said, turning to look at the man next to him. “I have a boyfriend. And even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be interested in someone as vanilla looking as you.” He rolled his eyes and turned away, refusing to entertain this man any longer.

He scoffed, pushing away from the bar. “Damn. You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.” 

And then he was gone, leaving Eren alone at the bar. Well—relatively alone. He was still surrounded by sweaty bodies that made standing against the bar way too hot.

Eren sighed to himself, shaking his head. Bert and Reiner had disappeared thirty minutes ago, sneaking off to do god knows what, and Ymir had slipped off to the patio, telling Eren she had some business to take care of, leaving him all alone. So the only rational thing to do was go get himself a drink. It kept him busy and the alcohol was sure to take the edge off of his irritation.

Ymir was the one that dragged his ass to this stupid bar and she was so quick to give him the slip. It’s not like Eren was socially awkward or anything, he was perfectly capable of talking to people if he _wanted_ to. He just didn’t care to meet anyone new, especially not at a gay bar where everyone was keen on getting laid.

A small part of him wished Levi could be there with him. He looked over at the crowded dance floor, bodies pressed together, hips swaying to the hypnotic beat of the bass. All he wanted was to lose himself to the music with Levi pressed up against him, his scent overtaking him as his head buzzed with liquor. To just let loose with the man that he loved, to feel the adrenaline he so desperately craved coursing through his bloodstream—it sounded like an absolute dream.

Finally, the bartender approached him, and he ordered the first thing that popped into his mind, not having a clue what he wanted. Before meeting Ymir, he didn’t drink much alcohol, and the parties he went to always provided a shitty punch that tasted like every liquor ever had been poured into it. So when it came to alcohol, he didn’t have a clue what his preferences were.

After a couple of minutes, the bartender came back with his rum and coke. He took a long sip of it, the sweet liquor dancing across his tongue. The moment it hit his stomach, his shoulders relaxed and his mind felt fuzzy, his annoyance seemingly melting away.

Not having a clue what to do with himself, he made his way to the back patio, the bass bumping loudly in his head like a migraine pounding against his skull. The technicolored lights above swirled vividly in the dark room, lighting his path as he pushed past people washed in rainbow reds and blues.

“Eren!” A high pitched voice called above the blasting music.

Stopping in his tracks, he looked around, trying to find the source of the noise. A tall man stepped forward, revealing a short Ymir, pushing past the sea of bodies.

“Oh, there you are,” he said, frowning down at her.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a party pooper. I got us something special. Come with me,” she said, taking his hand and tugging Eren over to a secluded booth in the corner of the club.

“What do you mean, something special?” Eren asked, his nerves flaring with uncertainty. What was Ymir on about? He took a long sip of his drink, hoping to take the edge off his anxiety.

“Relax,” she drawled, sliding into the booth with a huff. Eren followed her, trepidation written all over his face. Ymir took a small baggy out of her purse, a white powder inside. Was that… what he thought it was? He swallowed heavily, not sure he liked where this was going. “What? Have you not done coke before?”

Eren shook his head. Doing it had never even crossed his mind. It’s never been offered to him before and he never thought to seek it out. All his friends ever seemed interested in was drinking and smoking. Anything harder than that was off the table.

Ymir stared at him for a moment before her small mouth broke out into a wide grin. “Don’t sweat it. It’s not a big deal,” she said, pouring some of the white powder onto the table.

“I don’t know, Ymir,” Eren said, his brows furrowing with uncertainty. “Drinking and smoking is one thing… But this is something entirely different.”

“Not really. It’s just like drinking. Makes things more fun, gives you more energy. Trust me, it’s cool.”

“Isn’t it like… kind of addictive?”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “You can get addicted to anything if you let yourself. Food, alcohol, weed—it’s all addictive. This isn’t any different.”

Eren was quiet for a moment, watching as Ymir cut a line across the table, her cool blue eyes peering up at him as if willing him to take a chance. It’s not that he wasn’t curious, he just didn’t want to lose control or anything. Though every time he’s seen people do coke in movies, they always seemed in control of themselves, if not a little amped up.

“Look, I used to be a lot like you, Eren. Growing up, my family was overbearing, controlling. I let them tell me how to live my life, going along with whatever it was that they wanted. But one day, I woke up and decided no more,” she said, her deep blue eyes pouring into Eren’s soul, the intensity of her stare completely mesmerizing. 

“I said fuck them and finally started to live my life how I wanted to live it. While I don’t know what kind of upbringing you had, or the complexity of your relationship with Levi, I can tell that _something_ is holding you back. Stop giving a shit what other people think of you, stop caring what other people want for you. Do what you want, live your life the way you want to live it, Eren.”

It felt like she was staring into the deepest parts of his soul, revealing the truth behind his very nature. All of his life, he lived to try and please his mother and father, going along with whatever it was that they wanted. He had moved away from them to try and free himself from their unrealistic expectations. But even now, miles away from home, he was still bound to the chains of society, living his life by doing what was expected of him.

“You’re right,” Eren huffed, finally coming to his decision. “Fuck it.”

Ymir’s lips curved into a grin, eyes glistening with excitement. “You won’t regret it.”

She curled over the table, plugging one side of her nose with her long finger as she snorted the white powder. A gasp left her lips as she blinked, sitting back in the seat, a slow smile creeping onto her face.

“Do it just like that,” she said. “It’s easy.”

“Right,” Eren nodded, mimicking her movements as he leaned forward and breathed in the line of powder into his nostril.

It burned his nose, creating a trail of fire inside of his skull as the powder absorbed itself into his system, his brain tingling as the effects set it. His pulse quickened in his neck, his skin growing warm and tingly and his vision burned brightly as he looked over at Ymir. She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but grin in return, euphoria overtaking him.

* * *

Life was bright and beautiful, exciting and wild. 

Technicolored lights danced around him like a dream, reflecting off of foam particles floating through the air. It was hypnotic, putting him in a trance as his body buzzed with excitement, moving fluidly to the tantalizing beat that reverberated through his soul. It was like he was outside of his body, looking in on himself, feeling everything and nothing all at once. A smile stretched across his face, his cheeks burning as he moved to the music, lost to the beat thumping in time with his steady heart.

Ymir hollered over the music, throwing her hands in the air as she twirled through the cloud of foam encasing them like a pillow. It clung to their clothes, tickling his skin as it doused the fire burning in his blood. Everything around him was so sharp and crisp, clear and vibrant. It was like the most vivid dream his mind could paint for him. 

Yet, it was all so real, his pounding heart soaring inside of his chest like wings flapping against his ribcage. It was like he was soaring through the clouds, careless and free. For the first time in his life, he felt so incredibly _alive._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! I just wanted to give a big thank you for all your continued support with this fic. I love reading your comments and insight into Eren and Levi's relationship. Please keep them coming!!
> 
> Before we get into this chapter, I just want to say that things are about to heat up a bit. With the nature of this fic, I just want to reiterate that this is an ANGST heavy fic! There will be arguing and fighting between Eren and Levi from here on out and I just want to warn of it in case it's too much to handle.
> 
> My purpose for writing this fic is that I wanted to explore the messier sides of relationships, and how two people who have communication issues would deal with an outside force turning things for the worse. I've been with my fiance for nearly four years, and communication is a constant struggle that we deal with--it's a very real problem that real relationships have to overcome every single day. And I think Eren and Levi would definitely have issues talking about things that desperately need to be talked about.
> 
> One of the reasons I love Ereri so much is because they are both incredibly flawed. They are both stubborn and closed off. Eren is impulsive and hates being controlled. Levi is emotionally constipated and has abandonment issues. Of course they have issues they both need to work through, but that's easier said than done. Personally, I love fanfiction that is genuine and real. I like to read about relationships that are true to nature, ones that aren't perfect, that show the grittier side of love. 
> 
> Anyways, I digress. Sorry for the long AN, I just felt the need to kind of explain myself with this fic and where it was going so that nobody is surprised when it gets angstier :)
> 
> ONE LAST THING! My best friend and beta reader [Dread](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreadfortsnow/pseuds/dreadfortsnow) wrote their very first snk fanfic and I highly recommend checking it out [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29185674/chapters/71656503), especially after reading this steaming cesspool of angst (It's really cute, promise). If you need to take the edge off after reading this chapter, go check it out!

“Eren, wake up.”

Levi stood next to the bed, a cup of coffee clutched by his fingertips as he looked down at Eren. His brown hair splayed across the pillow like a halo and a line of drool dripped from his parted lips, pooling next to his mouth as light snores filled the quiet room. He looked so innocent, like he was just a kid wrapped up in a man’s body. It was almost a shame to disturb him.

“You’re gonna be late for class,” he said, placing the coffee mug on the side table and sitting down next to him. His bare chest radiated heat like a furnace and Levi instinctively leaned into him, his hand brushing back the stray strands of hair covering his face. 

Eren groaned, squeezing his eyes shut before slowly blinking awake, squinting up at Levi. “What time is it?”

Levi’s eyes flicked down to the silver watch on his wrist. “8:25.”

“That’s too early,” he huffed, rolling onto his stomach, his drowsy eyes sliding shut. 

“Yeah, when you stay out until two in the morning, I suppose it is.”

“Go away.”

Levi scoffed. So it was going to be like that, huh? A slow smirk curled his lip and he lunged forward, practically jumping on Eren’s back, pulling on his shoulders in a vain attempt to turn him over. “Get up.”

“Nooo,” Eren groaned, burying his face into his pillow. “Get your fat ass off of me, I’m gonna yarf.”

“Seriously?” Levi slid off of Eren, bouncing onto the bed. Having Eren throw up was the last thing he wanted to deal with. The last time he got drunk off his ass, Levi had to help clean up his vomit the next morning and he really didn’t want to have to relive that. It was disgusting. “Are you hungover again?”

“No,” Eren grumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow.

_Yeah right._

Last night, Eren had come home reeking of alcohol, crawling into bed and passing out without even acknowledging Levi, who had been lying wide awake. It was surprising since the last couple of times he was out late, he had been all over Levi the moment he got home. There was something different about last night.

“Then get your ass out of bed. Don’t you have a class in thirty minutes?”

“I’m not going,” he said, his back muscles tensing as he pulled Levi’s pillow over his head to block out the light.

“What? Why not?”

“Don’t wanna.”

Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to stem off the irritation building up behind his eyes. It was times like this that Eren really showed his age, reminding Levi that he was dating someone much younger than himself.

“Didn’t you miss class last week too?” Levi asked, drawing back the edge of the pillow to get a glimpse at Eren’s face. His eyes were screwed shut, his mouth curved in a frown. “You can’t keep missing class because you stayed out too late the night before.”

“Sure I can,” Eren sighed, swatting away Levi’s hand. “Let me go back to sleep. I’m tired.”

“C’mon, this isn’t like you, Eren.”

Eren groaned, his fingers digging into the rumpled sheets by his head. “Yes it is, I don’t fucking care about school.”

“Since when?”

“Since always,” Eren grunted, turning on his back, squinting up at Levi. “Look, I’m really tired and my head is splitting. Can we argue about this later?”

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” Levi huffed, pushing himself off of the bed, throwing Eren one final glance before grabbing his suit jacket and heading for the door. “If you’re gonna stay home can you at least do some laundry or something?”

“Mhmm,” Eren hummed, rolling onto his side and pulling Levi’s pillow to his chest.

Despite his annoyance, his heart still skipped a beat at the sight of Eren peacefully wrapped up in their white sheets, his face snuggled into the fluffy pillow that Levi rested his head on every night. He wanted to just stay there and sleep in with him, but he couldn’t. He had shit to do. It took every fiber of his being to pull himself away, forcing himself to close the door and get on with his day. 

He descended the stairs, a slight bounce in his step. Thursdays were the one day out of the week that he was afforded time to meet with Erwin. With how busy their schedules were, it was hard finding time for each other, but he managed to squeeze him in right before his ten o’clock British literature class. It made Thursdays his favorite days of the week—not only did he get to spend time with his good friend, but he got to teach his favorite class as well.

Levi pulled his jacket on, buttoning it up as he gave himself one final look over in the mirror. The dark circles under his eyes were getting more noticeable and his skin was paler than usual. Sleep was starting to escape him more and more as the week dragged on, his body restless as he lay in bed at night. It was disconcerting how much his insomnia was starting to affect him. He ran his fingers over the dark bruises, rubbing at them as if he could simply wipe them away, but they stubbornly remained, prominent as ever.

Giving up, he grabbed his keys and slipped his shoes on before heading out the front door. It was another chilly autumn morning, the grey clouds hanging low in the sky, looking as if they were about to open up and weep water onto him at any moment.

Levi hated autumn. It signified the beginning of the end, the moment where the world began to shift into something cold and dreary. With autumn came winter, and with winter came change. Levi liked his routines, he liked knowing what to expect out of his day, but winter was unpredictable. One day it could be sunny and beautiful outside, while the next a blizzard could be blowing through the city, destroying any sense of normalcy in the world.

The rain clouds hanging above him honestly weren’t any better than those in the sky.

Sighing to nobody but himself, Levi turned back inside to grab his umbrella, not wanting to get caught in the rain on his walk to work. Having his suit soaked through was the last thing he needed on his already shitty morning.

Hopefully the rain would just stay away until he got to the classroom.

But as Levi got into his car, starting up the engine and pulling out of the long driveway, large raindrops began to splatter his windshield. They fell onto the glass like teardrops, and Levi flicked his windshield wiper on, wiping them away in an instant. But they didn’t stop—more and more fell from the sky, the loud pitter patter drowning out the soft drone of his music.

He frowned at the heavy mist surrounding his car. Eren chose a good day to stay in. 

The rain picked up, smacking against his windshield, making it difficult to see the road ahead of him. Levi hated the rain—it was cold and wet and it made his skin crawl. The sound of it smacking against the pavement took him back to days spent curled inside a jungle gym at the local park in a desperate attempt to find dry shelter. But the water always managed to slip through the cracks, soaking him to the bone, his flimsy jacket doing little to stave off the cold. The memory alone made him shiver.

He reached for the aircon controls, turning the heat up to full blast, the glass beginning to fog up as his fingers defrosted. _God,_ how he wanted to turn around and go back home. There was nothing worse than trekking through campus during a downpour, his shoes and socks getting soaked as he waded through puddle after puddle. Crawling back into bed and snuggling up to Eren’s warm body sounded so much better.

Speaking of Eren… he’d been acting so weird lately. Ever since he started talking to that Ymir girl, he seemed more interested in going out with his friends than doing anything else. 

It wasn’t like him to skip class either. Sure, Eren liked to moan and groan about getting up early and doing school work, but he always managed to get it done with a little prodding from Levi. It’s why he was so surprised to hear Eren say that he didn’t care about school. If he didn’t care—why was he wasting his time with it?

Levi used to be that way, back before he met Erwin and Hange by random chance. Nothing in the world mattered back then, too bitter and angry to care about anything other than himself. But those two had been a saving grace when he had been at his lowest. Together, they pulled him out of his despair, picking up the pieces as they went, helping him get a job and an apartment and eventually helping him finish his GED. It had only been a matter of time before they brought sense back into the chaotic reality that had overtaken him when he lost his two best friends, Isabel and Farlan.

They had been hitchhiking across the country, nothing holding them back as they lived everyday like it was their last. It had been raining then, just like today, a torrential downpour slickening the roads as they drove to god knows where. It was impossible to clearly see the road in front of them, and the driver they hitched a ride with didn’t even have a chance to react to the semi-truck veering into them at sixty-five miles an hour.

It’s true what they say—that your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die. Every memory Levi’s ever had filtered through his mind like a movie reel playing in reverse as the car crunched and flipped over and over again until they were nothing but a heap of bloody flesh and broken metal.

That night still haunted him when he closed his eyes, the sound of rain and crunching metal leaving him breathless at night. He’s not sure why he was the only one to make it out of that crash alive—Isabel and Farlan deserved to live much more than he did. But fate was funny like that. He had to keep living his poor excuse of a life while his friends' lifeblood seeped into the drenched earth. It was like fate was punishing him for being such a little shit all his life.

Levi groaned, pressing his forehead against the steering wheel. He was parked in the small parking lot right outside the local campus coffee house, the rain pressing down on him like a vice. Why was he thinking about _them_ right now? His mind was already pressed with so many other things, thinking of his dead friends was the last thing he needed.

The rain had a funny way of making him remember things he wished he could forget.

A loud knock on his window made him jump, his heart leaping into his throat as he jerked back in his seat. His wide eyes shot over to the window, and a tall blond-haired man waved at him from the other side of the glass, a soft smile on his lips. _Erwin_.

“Asshole,” Levi grumbled to himself, reaching for his umbrella.

Erwin stepped back as Levi made to open the door, leaning his umbrella forward to block the rain as he got out of the car. It was a small gesture, but an appreciated one nonetheless as it kept him dry while he fumbled to open up his own umbrella.

“You shouldn’t go around knocking on people’s windows in the pouring rain, Erwin. You look like a serial killer.”

Erwin chuckled, his eyes crinkling. “Did I frighten you?”

“Please,” he rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t scare a baby kitten if you tried.”

Erwin started off towards the coffee shop and Levi followed next to him, his shoes sloshing in the rain.

“Is that so? Pretty sure I saw you jump in there.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“Ah, right. Perhaps my eyes have gone bad,” Erwin smirked, holding the door open for Levi. “I _am_ due for an eye exam.”

He gave his friend a pointed look, shaking his head at his shitty dad humor. It was a wonder that he was able to get laid with jokes like that. Speaking of— 

“How’s Mike?”

“Good, good,” Erwin said, his voice sounding nervous as he stepped towards the short line for ordering. “I’ve… uh actually been thinking about proposing here soon.”

Levi’s mouth popped open, his eyes widening. “No shit—really?”

Erwin hummed, a small smile curling his lip. “Yeah. You know, it’s been two years and I can’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else.”

After his last marriage ended in divorce, Levi hadn’t been expecting Erwin to ever get married again. But his relationship with Mike was something special and it was obvious in the way they looked at each other that they were madly in love. Erwin deserved to have someone who loved him unconditionally—he was a good man.

“That’s great. I’m happy for you," Levi said, but the sentiment came out flat.

Erwin looked down at him for a moment, his thick eyebrows pulling down at the middle. “Is something the matter, Levi?”

He shook his head, unable to meet his friend's intense stare. “No—” he sighed. “Sorry, I just… It’s been a weird morning.”

“I see,” Erwin frowned, patting Levi firmly on the shoulder in a show of solidarity. The weight of his hand eased some of the tension he’d been holding in his back and when the barista greeted him with a smile he was able to keep the sneer off his face. 

They both stepped up to the counter and Erwin ordered an americano, Levi a latte. Before Erwin could even reach for his wallet, Levi slid his debit card across the counter, avoiding the man’s pointed look as he blankly watched the barista swipe his card.

“Thanks,” Erwin mumbled, obviously annoyed that Levi beat him to pay. 

He slipped his card back into his wallet and they walked over to an empty table tucked away in the corner, sitting down across from each other as they waited for their beverages to arrive. 

“Coffee, huh?”

Levi hummed, leaning back in his seat as he peered out the window, a frown on his face as he observed the grey rain. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Eren keeping you up?” Erwin smirked, a knowing look flashing across his eyes.

“I wish,” Levi scoffed. The days where Eren would keep him up all night with all his sexual demands were few and far between nowadays. At the time, he thought Eren’s insatiable appetite had been annoying, but now he missed it. 

“Ah, I’m sorry. Have things not gotten better between you two?”

Levi shrugged, momentarily pausing as he watched the barista bringing them their drinks. She placed them on the table and scurried off, leaving them alone to speak in peace.

“Well, I took him out like you suggested and it was really nice. I thought things were going well, but he’s still been acting weird,” he explained, taking a long sip of his latte, the creamy foam warming his tongue.

He wasn’t a huge fan of coffee—it was a little too bitter for his liking. But lattes were nice. The creaminess of the steamed milk curbed the harsh edge of the espresso, making them particularly enjoyable. Especially when he was as tired as he was.

“How so?”

“He’s been kind of… distant. Like his mind is somewhere else when we’re together,” he said, his stomach clenching with unease as he spoke the worries that were wearing on his heart. “And yesterday he came downstairs looking fine as fuck and tells me he’s just going over to Armin’s. That’s weird, right?”

“Armin’s, huh?” Erwin asked, a frown deepening his brow as he folded his arms across his chest. A tense silence hung in the air and Erwin’s eyes grew distant as he considered what had been said. After a long moment, Erwin reached for his phone, the soft glow illuminating his drawn face. “I need to show you something, Levi, but you have to promise you won’t freak out.”

Levi’s heart dropped into his stomach, dread settling in before he even knew what Erwin was going to show him. There was something about his tone that had him on edge, his anxiety prickling his skin.

“Okay,” Levi muttered, his hands clenching the edge of his seat as he tried to get his emotions under control. If Erwin was asking him not to freak out, whatever he was going to show him was sure to be bad.

“After our last conversation, I started to pay more attention to the happenings of our student body, watching social media activity, greek life events, and the like. I started following campus bars and clubs on Twitter and that's when I saw this.”

Erwin turned his phone towards Levi, a picture blown up on the screen. It took him a moment to realize what he was looking at, but the moment that his eyes landed on Eren’s face his whole body went rigid, his heart stopping mid-beat. Was that— 

“The fuck,” he growled, snatching the phone from Erwin’s hand as he zoomed in on the picture. Eren was standing in the middle of a crowd, a wide smile on his face with Ymir and two other men by his side. They were surrounded by a cloud of foam, and Eren’s skin was glistening, his clothes wet and clinging to his body, his hair loose and dangling around his face. He looked so damn happy and it made Levi’s gut clench with heat, the picture shaking in his hand. 

“Where is this?” he asked, his voice sharp like glass. He couldn’t stop looking at the photo, his eyes drawn to the closeness of those two men next to Eren.

“It’s a new gay bar that just opened up on campus.”

_A gay bar._

Why was he at a gay bar, and why did he lie about it? A hundred little possibilities flitted into his mind, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on edge. He sat the phone down harshly onto the table, pushing back his hair as he tried to still the anger brewing inside of him. It was hot and heavy, coursing through his veins like wildfire, threatening to burn down his calm composure and expose the hot mess that was festering inside of him.

“That little shit,” he hissed, his nails digging into the soft flesh of his palms. The dull pain was nothing in comparison to the sharp slash of betrayal cutting through his heart.

“I realize this is a really unfortunate way of finding out Eren lied to you,” Erwin said, his voice soft, as if he were trying to coax Levi back to reality like he did all those years ago when his life had been in shambles. “But you really should talk to him before you do anything too rash.”

“Talk to him?” Levi scoffed, his eyes darting up to glare at the man sitting across from him. “I have to go teach a class in thirty minutes, I don’t have time to talk to him. Shit Erwin—” He slouched forward in his seat, burying his face in his hands. “You couldn’t have told me this later?”

“I apologize, Levi. After what you said, I couldn’t hold my tongue.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, running his hand down his face as if he could simply wipe away his anger. It festered under his skin like a poison, making him itch all over. He took a deep breath, willing his frantic heart to calm itself. “What do I do?”

Erwin looked at him, a firm resolve in his eyes. “You’ll have to approach it carefully. If you go in accusing him right away, he’ll only get defensive. Don’t let your anger at the situation dictate how to speak to him. If you can do that, I’m sure you can resolve things peacefully.”

Levi looked at him like he was crazy. How was he supposed to approach things carefully when his blood was burning, when his eyes were seeing red? “You make it sound so easy.”

“There’s nothing easy about being in a relationship. No matter how much you love someone, you have to work hard to maintain it. I learned that the hard way with my first marriage. You’re strong, Levi, you can get through this. I know you can.”

Erwin’s faith in him was unjustified. Before he met Eren, he’d never been able to maintain a stable relationship for longer than a couple of months. It was a miracle that he managed to keep Eren as long as he has. 

Maybe it was because he was young and didn’t know any better—it would explain why he put up with Levi’s bullshit all this time. Maybe he was finally realizing that Levi wasn’t relationship material, that he deserved better than some grouchy old asshole. Maybe that’s why he was going out with people Levi didn’t know and then lying about it. Maybe that’s why Levi’s heart felt like it was going to split into two.

 _Shit._ Why did being in love have to be so damn hard?

* * *

When Eren finally woke up, it was well past noon.

The little bit of light filtering into the bedroom was dimmed by the curtains, making it feel much later than it really was. Eren blinked past the drowsiness swimming behind his eyes, his head aching as he came to. It took him a moment to realize where he was, his world distorted as if he was looking through glass. He sat up, a groan slipping from his lips as he rubbed at his forehead, memories of the night before flooding back to him.

It was all kind of blurry. He vaguely remembered Ymir convincing him to do coke. And at some point in the night, he’d agreed to do a shot, which turned into several—the euphoria coursing through his blood made it impossible to turn them down. Five shots later and he was drunk and high and feeling completely outside of himself. It’s honestly a wonder he even made it home.

It must’ve been the coke. It had made him giddy, almost hyper, as he danced the night away with his friends. It was amazing, really. That newfound high gave him just enough energy to last late into the night, earning him an experience unlike any other, one that he likely would never forget. 

It’s too bad it left him feeling like absolute shit.

On the bright side, he didn’t feel like throwing up anymore. Though he vaguely remembered Levi waking him up earlier that morning, nausea attacking his stomach the moment he opened his eyes. Coming down from his high had hit him hard, the pounding in his head so overwhelming that he couldn’t even think straight. He prayed to whoever was listening that he didn’t say anything stupid to Levi in his half-dazed stupor.

As he slowly started to wake up, he swung his long legs over the side of his bed, remembering more and more what Levi had said to him before leaving for work. He hadn’t seemed very happy that Eren was skipping school yet again. But Eren was an adult now and could make his own decisions. If that meant he wanted to miss class, that was his own prerogative. It’s not like Levi was paying for his tuition or anything.

His tired eyes drifted over to the full coffee mug on the bedside table. Despite knowing it would be cold as fuck, he reached for it, tentatively taking a sip of it. “Ugh, no,” he grumbled, setting the cup back down as his stomach curled with disgust. Coffee was the last thing he needed right now. There was already an awful taste in his mouth, and the coffee just added to it, the aftertaste of stale alcohol and morning breath creating a sour mixture on his tongue.

First, he needed to thoroughly brush his teeth, and then take a long, long shower. When that was all said and done, he planned on drinking an entire gallon of water in the hopes of flushing out his hangover and quenching the dryness in his throat. He had to get his shit together before Levi got home, maybe do some cleaning to try and get on his good side or something. That always worked for him in the past.

By the time Eren got all cleaned up, hair wet and loose, teeth brushed and tongue minty, he was feeling marginally better. He dressed himself in a comfortable pair of grey sweatpants and one of his favorite blue hoodies, ready to take on what was left of the day. 

He bounded down the stairs, heading straight to the kitchen so he could chug several glasses of water. The cold liquid felt amazing on his tongue, quenching the thirst that was driving him mad, but the water settled heavily in his stomach, gurgling loudly with contempt.

Maybe that hadn’t been the best idea. 

Groaning, he leaned over the sink, his mouth salivating as his stomach churned with nausea. Why did hangovers have to suck so bad? Why couldn’t he just drink whatever the hell he wanted without any repercussions? He flicked the faucet on, the droning sound of water taking his mind away from the uncomfortable crawl of acid up his esophagus. He spit several times into the sink, trying to clear out the overwhelming amount of saliva coating his mouth.

“Fuck this,” he groaned, turning the faucet off and dragging himself into the living room. He plopped down on the couch, throwing his arm over his eyes to block out the very little light filtering through the curtains.

It was dark and dreary outside, making him glad that he chose to stay in. The rain was slanting hard against the window, filling the room with the rhythmic drone of water hitting glass, lulling him into a trance. 

Eren knew how much Levi hated the rain, and he couldn’t help but worry for him. While he wasn’t always the most forthcoming about his past, he’d told him enough for him to understand why the rain bothered him so much. It made Eren’s heart ache, thinking about all the hardship his boyfriend had endured before they ever knew of each other. There was nothing he could about what had happened, all he could do was be there for him when he got home, to remind him that he was loved and that he was worthy, even if Levi didn’t always believe it.

It was that thought that motivated him to get off the couch, despite his stomach bubbling with acid. He couldn’t just sit on his ass all day while Levi was out working hard. It wasn’t fair. Pushing through his nausea and pounding headache, he dusted every surface, polished the floors, all while doing two loads of laundry. 

By the time he was finished, the rain had let up, the sun trying to peek through the heavy clouds. His body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and he ached all over. Truth be told, he could really go for another shower.

But as Eren was wrapping up the last load of laundry, folding and hanging all of the clean clothes that were spread out on the bed, he heard the front door opening and a jingling of keys. 

Levi was home. 

A spark of excitement fluttered under his skin and he dropped what he was doing, bounding down the stairs to go greet his boyfriend. He knew that he was probably still annoyed with him for skipping class, but that knowledge didn’t stop the soft smile that curled his lip at the thought of wrapping Levi up in his arms and giving him a proper kiss. After the long day he’d had, Levi was sure to appreciate that, wasn’t he?

“Hey, Levi—” Eren’s greeting fell flat the moment his eyes met his. There was something… off about the way that he looked at Eren, his eyes dull and his lips turned into a frown. Dark circles lined his eyes and his skin seemed a touch paler. Even his suit looked a bit rumpled. “You okay?”

Levi sighed, dropping his bag by the door and moving over to the couch. He sat down, crossing his leg over his knee as he eyed Eren warily. “We need to talk.”

Those words cut through Eren’s calm veneer like glass, his pulse quickening in his neck. “Um, okay,” he said, walking over to Levi and sitting down next to him. “What’s wrong?”

The silence that stretched between them was oppressive, the heaviness in the air making it difficult to breathe. There was a serious look on Levi’s face as he contemplated what he wanted to say, his brows drawn together as his grey eyes focused on the wall across from him. Surely he wasn’t this upset about him missing school, right? It’s not like it was that big of a deal—people skipped class all the time and still passed their classes. Missing class was normal college student behavior. He was a professor, he should know that.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” Levi asked, his voice low and even as he finally turned to look at Eren. There was a coldness in his eyes that made Eren shiver, his heart dropping into his stomach. He didn’t have a clue what was going on.

“No?” Eren said, but it came out sounding more like a question. Levi narrowed his eyes at him as if he were looking right into his soul. “What’s going on? You’re acting weird.”

“I’m acting weird?” Levi scoffed. “That’s rich coming from you.”

Eren bristled at that, his skin flaring a touch hotter at Levi’s accusatory tone. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Levi unfurled his legs, turning on the couch to square off with Eren, his eyes flashing like hard steel. “It means you’re the one that’s acting weird. You’ve been going out almost every night, you barely talk to me anymore, and now you’re _lying_ to me?”

Eren froze, his muscles going rigid as realization washed over him like cold water. Levi knew about last night—that’s why he was so pissed off. _Shit._ This wasn’t good. He wasn’t supposed to find out about that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eren said, the words slipping from his mouth before he could stop them. Playing dumb wasn’t going to get him anywhere, especially if Levi knew the truth, but he physically couldn’t admit that he’d straight up lied about what he did last night. 

“I know that you didn’t go to Armin’s last night.”

“Yes, I did.” The lie came to him naturally.

Levi’s jaw clenched, his lips pressed together in a hard line, looking as if he was trying to keep his anger bottled up inside. “Stop playing dumb with me brat. I saw a picture of you at a gay bar.”

_What._

Eren’s brows furrowed, his blood burning hot under his skin. “So, what, you’re spying on me now?” he asked, his voice starting to shake. The nerve of him. He really didn’t trust Eren at all, did he?

“What?” Levi balked, looking up at him as if he were crazy. Eren didn’t like that look on him—it pissed him off. “No I’m—” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “I just happened to see it on social media.”

“Yeah, right. You’ve always been so jealous.” Eren rolled his eyes. “You would be stalking my social media pages.” The words tasted like venom on his tongue, bitter acid climbing up his throat at the realization that Levi didn’t trust him. It really shouldn’t have surprised him so much, what with how protective he was. But it still hurt, his racing heart aching in his chest.

“I’m not jealous, Eren. I’m upset that you _lied_ to me!” he was practically yelling, his deep voice cutting through the air like a knife.

Eren flinched, his mouth pressing together in irritation. “See, this is why I didn’t tell you where I was going, cause I knew you were going to act like _this.”_

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Everything I do lately just seems to piss you off. I was just trying to spare you the hurt,” Eren said, frowning down at Levi. This was exactly the reason why he didn’t tell Levi where he was going. He knew he was going to freak out, knew he was going to get jealous. If he had just minded his own damn business, he would have spared himself of this pain. It’s not Eren’s fault he was so damn sensitive.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Levi scoffed, standing up as he paced in front of the couch. His back was rigid, his fists clenched at his side. “You go and straight-up lie to my face and now you’re acting like it’s _my fault?”_

“Well maybe if you weren’t so insecure about everything I wouldn’t need to lie to protect you.”

“Protect me?” Levi turned on his heels, looking Eren straight in the eye. “I don’t need you to protect me, Eren. I need you to be fucking honest with me.”

“I am honest with you!”

Levi barked a laugh, but it lacked any humor. “You’re so full of it. Even now you’re lying to me. Why can’t you just admit that you didn’t want to tell me because you didn’t want me to know what _bullshit_ you were really up to.”

The implication of Levi’s words had him flying from his seat, standing up and towering over Levi, fire burning in his eyes. Eren was many things, but he wasn’t a cheater. No matter how unhappy he was, no matter how hard things got, he would never cheat on Levi. Just the thought of it made his stomach churn, his palms sweat.

“I don’t like what you’re trying to say, Levi,” he said, his voice low and rough like gravel. “You know what? I don’t have to deal with this shit.” He grabbed his keys out of the bowl and slipped his shoes on. Yeah, he may have lied to Levi, but he did it to protect him—didn’t he understand that? He wasn’t the bad guy here. He didn’t deserve to be treated like he was.

“Where are you going?” Levi asked, his voice rising with something like that sounded like panic.

He flicked his eyes over to Levi, and it looked like his angry facade was crumbling all around him. His fists came unclenched, his eyebrows raised in a look of surprise. 

Shaking his head, he turned towards the door. “Out.” And with that, he left, not even giving Levi another look before shutting the door behind him. 

The cold autumn breeze slapped him in the face, cooling off his flushed skin, the fresh air making it easier to breathe. He didn’t have a clue where he was going, but anywhere was better than here. He slid into his shitty Honda Civic coupe and hit the road, turning up his music to drown out the anger thumping inside his head.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day!
> 
> I decided to update a day early as a valentines day gift to you all lol.
> 
> This chapter is NSFW and a bit spicy so please check the newly added tags and make sure you're okay with these things okaaaaay :) 
> 
> Thanks for all the love and comments. You guys are the best! Enjoy!

There weren’t many places in Trost that Eren felt drawn to. To him, it was just a college town that he moved to in order to get away from his parents. A place for him to be free. Of course, it became more than that when he met Levi. The moment that he walked into Eren’s life, Trost became his home, a place he wanted to stay forever if it meant getting to be by Levi’s side.

Without him, Trost was just another city, an unfamiliar place that made no sense. Maybe that’s why he ended up driving to campus in his anger fueled daze. It was the one familiar place in this sprawling metropolis that he knew like the back of his hand. Three years spent studying at Trost University made it feel like a second home. It’s the place where he met Levi, a place where he shared fond memories with his closest friends. The university might not stand for what he believed in, but it housed beautiful moments that were important to him.

Eren sat outside the student union, not really sure how he got there. Not that the details really mattered. What mattered was  _ why  _ he was there. Like an idiot, he had stormed off during his fight with Levi, and now he was sitting outside against the brick building, the cool breeze brushing against his heated skin, cooling him down. The fresh air cleared the haze in his head and for the first time all day he was seeing things clearly.

He’d been a jerk, he realized that now. Levi had called him out on his bullshit and he had acted like a straight up asshole in return. And for what? Because he felt threatened? It hadn’t been rational, just a knee jerk reaction that had him putting up walls and pushing blame onto anyone but himself. It was so much easier to refuse responsibility, to just pretend like he did nothing wrong, rather than accept the fact that he’d made a mistake.

Eren groaned, burying his face into his hands. He’d fucked up. Not only did he push the blame onto Levi, but he walked away mid fight, leaving so many unanswered questions floating in the tense air. Levi had been trying to talk to him,  _ really _ talk to him, and he had turned his back in a fit of rage. It was no wonder Levi was always hesitant to share what he was feeling when Eren let his anger get the better of him.

Hopefully he could make this right and find a way out of the mess he made. Whenever they got into an argument it would naturally work itself out, but this time he wasn’t so sure. This time felt different.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him from his stupor. He reached for it, expecting it to be a message from Levi. When he unlocked his screen, he frowned. It was just Ymir.

**[Ymir]** What are u doing?

**[Eren]** Contemplating my mortality

**[Ymir]** Thats pretty deep coming from u

**[Ymir]** Everything ok?

Eren sighed, not really sure he wanted to get into it with Ymir. His relationship troubles were his own business. The last thing he needed right now was someone poking around in his personal life.

**[Eren]** yeah

The moment he hit send, he regretted it. Nothing was more suspicious than a single word text like that. If Ymir was as observant as she seemed to be, she was definitely going to be able to tell something was up.

**[Ymir]** Where are u?

**[Eren]** outside student union

**[Ymir]** be there in 5

_ Well shit. _ Eren hadn’t been expecting that. The plan was to sit there and wallow in self pity, not hang out with Ymir. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. 

He held on to his phone, staring at the generic background he had changed it to after Levi asked him to remove his picture. He’d half been expecting Levi to call him, to reach out and beg him to come back. But his phone never went off, no texts, no calls, no nothing. He wasn’t really sure what that meant. Did Levi not want to talk to him anymore? The possibility that he may have ruined things between them slithered into the forefront of his mind and his heart sank into his stomach. Just the thought of losing Levi made his whole body shake, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. He couldn’t lose him. Not now, not ever.

Levi was one of the few people who actually understood Eren, who didn’t condemn him for his anger and impulsiveness. He was always supportive and understanding, nurturing the fire burning inside of him instead of trying to smother it. Levi never tried to change him, just encouraged him to be his best self.

Surely that meant he wouldn’t leave him because of this… right?

“You look absolutely pathetic,” a feminine voice said, pulling Eren’s attention up towards the source. Ymir stood over him, black combat boots over a pair of black leggings and a big puffy green coat hung to her knees. “What’s going on?”

Eren sighed for what felt like the millionth time, slipping his phone into his pocket. “Nothing.”

“Yeah, right,” she rolled her eyes. “Come on, let’s go inside and we can talk. It’s cold as fuck out here.”

“It feels good though,” he said, standing up and brushing off his behind. The cold was the one thing keeping the raging fire in his stomach at bay.

“You’re a masochist then.”

Eren snorted at that, following Ymir inside the student union, the warm air swarming him like flies on shit. Inside, it was quiet, most students having gone home for the day, but a handful stuck around—chatting with friends, eating dinner, working on homework. 

Ymir led them over to a secluded seating area, two plush chairs sitting caddy corner from each other. She plopped down with a huff, letting her bag fall onto the ground. Eren sat next to her, sinking low into the seat, his long legs stretching out in front of him. 

They sat in silence for a long moment, the quiet murmuring of distant voices the only sound floating between them. Eren just sat there staring at the gaudy painting on the wall, his eyes tracing over the vibrant lines and shapes. The mindless act kept his thoughts from wandering back to Levi and the hard look that had flashed in his eyes during their fight.

“If you don’t want to talk about what's going on, that’s fine.” Ymir’s voice drew Eren’s focus towards her. She was staring at him with cool blue eyes, intense and searching. “But I’m here if you want to.”

Eren sighed, running a hand over his face. Talking about his feelings wasn’t always the easiest thing in the world. Yes, he was emotional and expressive, his face and tear-ducts often giving away what he was feeling. But to actually talk about what was going on in his heart and mind was  _ hard. _ Whenever he tried, the words always got stuck in his throat.

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Did he go back to Levi and grovel for his forgiveness? That wasn’t something Eren felt he was capable of doing, even if he wanted to. But at the same time he desperately wanted to make things right, he just didn’t know  _ how.  _ Maybe Ymir would have the answers that he didn’t.

“Levi and I got into a fight,” he admitted, refusing to look Ymir in the eye as he anxiously chewed at his bottom lip.

“Oh shit, really?” She perked up, leaning closer to Eren. “What happened?”

“Well… he found out about last night.”

Ymir eyebrows shot up in surprise. “How?”

“He said he saw a picture on social media.”

“Seriously?” she scoffed. “Did you post something even though I told you not to?”

“No,” Eren sat up, narrowing his eyes at her. “I’m not stupid.”

“Right, of course not. I just don’t get how he saw something?”

“I don’t know,” Eren sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. None of it made sense. He didn’t even know anyone had been taking pictures of him last night. “I kind of stormed out before I had a chance to ask him about it.”

“Wait… you walked out mid argument? That’s not good dude.”

“Yeah, I know,” Eren snapped, rolling his eyes. He had already mentally reprimanded himself for that idiotic move. He didn’t need Ymir to give him shit for it too. “I was just so pissed off that he had been snooping on social media that I needed to get away before I said anything stupid.”

“Does he often make a habit of stalking your social media and stuff? Seems kind of sketchy.”

“I don’t think so. If he has, he’s never said anything about it.” Levi could be jealous, but he never gave the impression that he didn’t trust Eren. That is, until today. Now Eren wasn’t so sure.

“Hmm. That’s strange,” Ymir hummed, thinking. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure. We fight, but it’s never felt this bad before. I’m worried I might have fucked things up big time.”

“Would that really be such a bad thing?”

“What?” Eren snapped, turning to glare at Ymir. Not being with Levi would be the worst thing imaginable. “I hope you’re joking. I’m not going to give up on my relationship with Levi just because we got into a fight.”

Ymir sighed. “Relationships are constricting, Eren. They hold us back. How can you be yourself when you constantly have to adhere to someone else's wishes. Don’t you want to be free to do whatever you want, whenever you want it?”

“Yes, but I can do that with Levi.”

“Can you?” She pursed her lips together, tilting her head to the side. “I’m not so sure… How’s that saying go? You can’t have your cake and eat it too?”

Eren snorted, rolling his eyes. “That saying is stupid. If I eat just one piece, I still have most of the cake left, so,  _ yeah.  _ I can do both.”

She eyed Eren skeptically. “But you’ll always want more cake. Eventually you’ll eat it all and you’ll have nothing left.”

“No, that's not going to happen. I'm not going to lose Levi. I’m going to go make things right, you’ll see,” he said, abruptly standing up.

He looked back at Ymir. She appeared to be both amused and annoyed. He didn’t really understand what her gripe was with relationships, but he didn’t share that sentiment. He cherished what he had with Levi and he wasn’t going to let it slip through his fingers just because of one stupid lie. He was going to march back home and make things right. He had to.

“Good luck,” she said, waving her fingers at him as he started to walk away. 

* * *

Levi was confused.

The moment that Eren walked out, the door slamming in Levi’s face, he was left reeling, volatile emotions swirling inside of him like a storm. Erwin had warned him against accusing him, but the moment the brat had started playing dumb he wasn’t able to stop the hot anger from brewing in his belly. It had spread through his veins like wildfire, making it impossible to ignore. Before he knew it he had just  _ snapped _ .

Desperately needing a release, he threw his phone across the room with everything he had, the hard device smacking into the wall, leaving a crack in the plaster. He panted hard, breath coming and going in waves as he stood in the middle of the living room, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. It did little to ease the burning flare inside of him and he wanted to scream, to lash out at anyone and anything.

But he was alone, and his house didn’t deserve to be punished because of his ineptitude. He stomped across the living room, swooping down to pick up his phone. A giant crack ran down the middle and when Levi went to turn it on, the screen lit up with white light and rainbow streaks around the edges.

Groaning, he dropped the broken device back onto the ground. There was no point trying to fix it—it was royally fucked, just like him. He didn’t have a clue what he was supposed to do now. Was he supposed to chase after him? Beg him to come back so they could work this out? Both of those options left a bitter taste in his mouth. No, it wasn’t his fault they were in this mess. It was Eren’s, and he was going to leave it up to him to make things right. 

The quietness of his house pressed down on his eardrums and all of the emotions from the day came crashing down around him, making him feel incredibly  _ tired _ . He just wanted to crawl into bed and slip into the comforts of sleep, forget about everything that was weighing down on his heart. 

But he needed to cool down first. He went into the kitchen and poured himself a cold glass of water, chugging it down in a matter of seconds. The cold liquid smothered the burning anger in his belly and he leaned over the sink, letting the sound of the running water drown out his senses. The soft drone distracted him from his festering thoughts in his head and he grabbed a handful of water with his hands and splashed it on his face. He stood there for several minutes, face wet and dripping over the sink before he finally stepped away, drying himself off.

Levi sighed to nobody but himself. Even after cooling down, he still felt like a hot mess and he just wanted to sleep it off. At least in sleep he didn’t have to think about everything that went wrong.

As he made his way up the stairs, his eyes idly trailed across the floor. Much to his surprise, it was completely spotless and polished to perfection. His heart dropped into his stomach when he reached his bedroom, his hand trailing across the dresser, finding that it was completely free of dust.

Even though he had clearly been hungover, Eren had taken the time to clean the house. It was a small gesture in the grand scheme of things, but it took the edge off his anger, a small smile curling his lip. 

He made his way over to the bed and saw a small pile of clean laundry laying against the sheets. He must have been in the middle of putting it away when Levi had gotten home. And as much as he wanted to just curl up into bed, he couldn’t just leave the chore half finished.

He poured himself into the task at hand, letting his mind wander as he folded up the clothes and hung them in the closet. What Eren said had taken Levi by surprise. Did he really view him as someone who needed to be coddled and protected? The idea of it was ridiculous. Levi was perfectly capable of dealing with a little hurt. After all, his life had been far from  _ easy _ . 

Growing up poor and parentless, he bounced around from foster home to foster home after his uncle had left him, the constant moving giving him thick skin. At least, that’s what he thought. But maybe never having a stable, loving relationship in his life made him terrified of losing Eren. Maybe that’s why he clung on to him the way that he did, why he would do anything to make sure that they would be okay. That, and he adored the brat. He was fiery and bold, bringing passion into Levi’s dull and boring life. 

When he was younger, he lived life on the edge, blindly following his impulses without ever considering the consequences. It wasn’t until he met Hange and Erwin that he tried to establish a modicum of normalcy into his life. But living life the ‘normal’ way wasn’t very exciting, and it always felt like something was missing. It wasn't until he met Eren that the missing piece was found, sparking a long forgotten fire inside his heart.

Levi sighed, stripping off his clothes and tossing them into the hamper. For whatever reason, Eren wasn’t acting himself and his behavior was starting to worry him. Was he acting out because of something that Levi was doing? Or was it something else? Whatever it was, there was nothing he could do about it, not until Eren got home and they could properly talk.

He crawled into his bed, wrapping himself in the softness of the fluffy blankets as he buried his face into his pillow. It still smelled like Eren, the familiar scent washing over him and easing the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders. Even though he was hurting, his heart longed for Eren, wishing they could just forgive and forget so they could just get lost in each other like they so often did after a fight.

At some point in his daze, he drifted off, slipping into a dreamless darkness that covered him with comfort. It was warm and peaceful and he never wanted to wake up. 

But life could never be that simple.

“Levi?”

A familiar voice called out to him, pulling him from the comforting clutches of his sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to slip back into the darkness, but a soft light was pulling him back into reality.

Levi groaned, rolling onto his stomach, pressing his face into the pillow as he tried to block out the light. A hand brushed against his bare back, warm fingers trailing between his shoulder blades, making him shiver. He blinked several times as reality came rushing back to him, pushing away the haziness in his head.

Eren was home.

He rolled onto his back, his eyes flying open as he stared at the man standing over him. What was he doing back already? Levi hadn’t been expecting him to show up so soon. And yet here he was, looking down at him with a regretful expression on his face, eyebrows drawn together and a frown curving his lips.

Silence stretched out between them, a thick tension hanging in the air as they stared each other down. Eren eventually sat next to him, the mattress sinking under his weight. Without a word, one of his hands came drifting towards Levi’s face and he flinched back against his pillow, smacking it away before his long fingers could brush against his skin.

“I’m still mad at you,” Levi huffed, narrowing his gaze at Eren.

He cleared his throat, frown deeping as he looked away. "I made you some tea,” he said, holding out a white ceramic mug for Levi to take. “I was hoping we could talk"

Levi looked at the mug, and then looked at Eren. Did he really think he could win him over with some tea? He wasn’t that easily swayed. "You had your chance to talk and you blew it,” Levi frowned, lightly kicking at Eren’s backside with his leg. “Now leave me alone.”

“I know, alright?” Eren groaned, setting the mug down on the nightstand as he scooted closer to Levi, his warmth drawing him in like a moth to a flame. As much as he wanted to just curl into him and forget this ever happened, he couldn’t. He had to stay strong and hold his ground or else Eren would never learn.

“What, is that supposed to be some kind of shitty apology?”

“No, I—“ Eren stuttered, his jaw clenching. Levi quietly sat there, watching as Eren’s mouth popped open, his brow furrowed, his fists clenched all while he refused to make eye contact with him. It looked as if he was fighting some kind of internal battle. “I shouldn’t have left while you were trying to talk to me. I’m sorry.”

“That’s it?” 

“What?”

“That’s all you’re going to apologize for? You’re sorry for walking out but you’re not sorry for lying to me?”

Eren sighed long and hard, running a hand over his face. “I don’t feel like what I did was wrong.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Levi scoffed, shaking his head. He sat up in the bed, resting his back against the headboard, his blood flaring back to life. “You lied to me and now you’re saying that you don’t think it’s wrong? How am I supposed to trust you after knowing that?”

“It’s not like you trust me anyways, so what difference does it make?”

“I don’t—" he choked, too shocked by Eren’s words to even formulate a proper sentence. Is that what he really thought? That Levi didn’t trust him at all? “I do trust you. I don’t understand why you think I don’t.”

“You always get all protective and pissy anytime someone looks at me for longer than like five seconds.”

“Oh my god, seriously? You do that shit too,” Levi rolled his eyes. “So it’s okay for you to do it but not me?”

“I don’t go poking around social media to find dirt on you.”

“I didn’t go looking for that picture, Eren!” Levi yelled, fed up with this whole stupid argument. Eren’s attitude was grating on his nerves, making his teeth grind together in irritation. He needed it to stop before he lost control over his emotions and widened the already deep divide between them. “Erwin showed it to me when we met for coffee this morning. I’ve never once gone through your social media because I didn’t believe what you said you were doing. I trust you, or at least I did, before all of this.”

“Oh,” Eren deflated, his brow unfurling, fists unclenching. “Why didn’t you say that earlier?”

“You fucking walked out before I could say anything!”

“Right…” he curled over himself, sighing heavily into his hands. There was a long stretch of silence that smothered out any remaining tension lingering in the air, Eren’s sudden change of mood dousing the fire burning in Levi’s chest. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re sorry?” Levi snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. “Sorry you lied, that you got caught, or that you accused me of something I didn’t do?”

“All of it, okay? I fucked up, I see that now… Isn’t that what you want to hear?” Eren’s voice shook as he dropped his hands into his lap. 

There was such a pathetic look on his face, his green eyes shimmering with emotion. It made Levi want to forget everything, to just sweep their fight under the rug. But Eren’s accusation hurt, his lie cutting deep into his heart. There was still so much pent up frustration over all of it that he simply couldn’t let it go.

“Yeah. And I suppose you want me to tell you that it’s fine and all is forgiven,” Levi sighed, his hands tightening around the comforter covering his lap. “But it’s not that easy, Eren.”

“I know. Just tell me what I have to do to fix this and I’ll do it,” Eren said, scooting even closer, his body mere inches away from Levi. Their closeness made it hard to focus.

“I told you already. You need to be honest with me. I’m not going to put up with you lying or hiding things from me.”

“Ok yeah, I can do that. I’ll do anything for you.” He inched closer still, his hot breath fanning across Levi’s lips. “I love you, you know that, right?"

“Eren…” Levi sighed, his heart aching in his chest. It pissed him off how easily those three simple words made him falter, his carefully constructed wall cracking right down the middle as if it were made of paper.

"If you don't believe me I'll show you." 

Before Levi could say anything, Eren’s hand gripped his jaw and he crashed their lips together in a heated kiss that stole his breath away. His hot tongue coaxed his lips apart and Levi gasped, his heart catching in his throat as Eren shoved his tongue into his mouth. All the frustration swirling inside of his chest intensified, his fingers digging harshly into Eren’s arm as his other hand trailed up his neck, tangling into Eren’s long hair, tugging at it to forcefully break their kiss.

“Eren, stop,” Levi huffed, his pulse thumping hard against his neck. But Eren didn’t listen and he continued to lavish his skin with kisses, his wet lips trailing across his jaw and down his neck. “I’m still annoyed with you.”

“So? You’re always annoyed with me and we fuck anyways.”

“I’m not—Ah—” the words caught in his throat as Eren’s teeth dug sharply into his flesh. He flinched away at the hot pain that flared across his skin but Eren’s lips chased after him, licking at the tingling bite mark left on his neck. “I’m not always annoyed with you, you just think I am.”

Eren hummed, completely ignoring Levi as he harshly sucked at his flushed neck. 

Trying to push back the desire snaking into his brain, Levi tugged harshly at Eren’s hair again, forcing him to stop and meet his firm gaze. “You can’t just pretend like nothing happened.”

“I’m not. I’m just trying to make things right with you.”

Levi scoffed. “Fucking away our problems isn’t the way to do that.”

“Why not?” Eren growled, his fingers tightening around Levi’s jaw, his green eyes flashing with fire. “Harboring your anger until it turns into resentment isn’t the way either. So take your frustrations out on me and fuck me, Levi.”

A challenge flashed across his shimmering green eyes, daring him to give in. As much as he wanted to, there was a bitter taste in his mouth whenever he thought about the things that Eren said. His blood still burned with irritation and his heart ached in his chest. And yet, his skin was tingling from Eren’s touch, his head dizzy with lust. Even in his anger, he wanted Eren—wanted to be so overcome with pleasure that he forgot all about the frustrations coiling deep inside his gut.

“Fine,” Levi growled in return.

Giving in to his primitive desires, Levi threw himself at Eren, scraping his nails against his scalp as their lips came crashing together, Levi’s tongue forcing its way into Eren’s mouth. He pushed him back against the bed, climbing on top of him as he pressed his half-hard cock against Eren’s thigh, the friction making his blood burn with desire. A groan rumbled from his throat as he flicked his tongue across Eren’s in a hungry caress, losing himself in the velvety warmth of his mouth. 

Eren’s fingers snaked into Levi's hair, pulling on it as they kissed each other with everything they had. Their kiss was hard and messy, teeth clashing together as they breathed hotly into each other’s mouths. It made him thirsty, his tongue chasing after Eren’s as if he was the only thing that could satiate him.

His hands slid down Eren’s chest, finding the end of his sweatshirt and pushing it up in a needy attempt to feel more of him. He splayed his palms against his tight abs, reslishing in the warmth radiating against his fingertips. Eren wrapped an arm around Levi’s waist and sat up, allowing him to tear the sweatshirt off in one swift movement, ruffling Eren’s long hair.

He looked so beautiful with his flushed cheeks and mussed hair, that it made his heart ache with longing. Every fiber of his being craved Eren’s touch and he desperately needed his hands to drown out the lingering anger festering under his skin, needed Eren to fuck him so hard that he forgot what his name was.

Levi slid down Eren’s lap, situating himself between his legs, his fingers trailing down his bare chest until he reached the top of his sweatpants. Hooking his fingers under the band, he tugged them off along with his boxers, allowing his impressive cock to spring free. Just the sight of him laid bare in front of him had his mouth watering with anticipation, his cock twitching with aching desire.

Eren looked up at him with a cheeky look in his eyes and it made Levi’s teeth grind together in irritation. Even after everything was said and done, the brat was still a cocky little shit—so confident in his ability to get under Levi’s skin. Well, he wasn’t  _ wrong _ , really. Eren drove Levi crazy in more ways than one.

“Stop looking so pleased with yourself, it’s pissing me off,” Levi growled, hopping off the bed to grab the small bottle of lube tucked away in the top dresser drawer.

“Can’t help it,” Eren smirked, his eyes never leaving Levi as he moved across the room.

“Just cause we’re fucking doesn’t mean I forgive you, you know that right?”

“Mhmm,” Eren hummed, his half lidded eyes slithering down Levi’s body, lingering on the curve of his ass. “This isn’t for me, it’s for you.”

“Yeah, right,” Levi scoffed, tossing the bottle of lube onto Eren’s chest, which he caught with ease. It was obvious in the dark hue of his eyes and the throbbing erection between his legs that Eren wanted this just as much as he did. “Better make it good, then.” 

He stepped out of his underwear, climbing onto the bed as he pushed Eren against their pillows. Their cocks pressed together as he straddled his lap, the sensation sending a hot thrill down his spine. It felt heavenly being so close to Eren, his body reacting in all the right ways. It was like Eren held a spell over him, making every nerve in his body light up until Levi was putty in his hands.

Eren’s hands trailed slowly down Levi’s back, making the hairs on his neck stand on edge. They slid onto his ass, squeezing his cheeks apart as the tip of his fingers neared his twitching hole. He was so close, his touch making him ache in anticipation. Needing to feel him inside, he arched his back in a desperate attempt to urge Eren on.

Eren’s slicked up finger teased Levi’s puckered rim as his mouth found his chest, his tongue flicking across his nipple. Levi’s body tensed at the sudden pressure, a soft moan leaving his lips as he threw his head back. His fingers twisted into Eren’s hair, holding him against his chest as his teeth grazed against his sensitive nub, his finger slipping in deeper, twisting slowly against his walls.

Levi moaned, rutting forward at the sudden pressure, his cock brushing against Eren’s, trapping their lengths between their heated bodies. Eren groaned in response, the sound tickling his skin. Hearing it was intoxicating, and Levi craved more of it. He reached down to wrap his hand around both of their cocks, stroking them together as Eren slipped another finger inside of him, slowly stretching him open.

A hot pressure was starting to build up inside of him already, his skin stretching tightly across his body. The burning frustration in his belly flared and he twisted his fingers firmly into Eren’s hair, tugging harshly on it so he could bring their mouths together in another heated kiss. And when Eren added another finger, his hole aching as he worked him open, he bit at Eren’s bottom lip, moaning as he leaned against him.

It was all becoming too much and Levi couldn’t wait any longer. He needed Eren’s cock inside of him. He needed to feel himself filled up to the point of bursting. “I’m ready, Eren,” he murmured against his lips.

Eren hummed, slipping his fingers out of him, leaving him empty. His hot breath fanned across Levi’s wet and bruised lips as he reached for the bottle of lube, swiftly slicking up his cock with the slippery solution. Popping the cap back on, he tossed it to the side and looked up at Levi, his eyes dark with burning desire. It was such a good look on him and Levi never wanted to see it fade. It made his chest fill up with pride knowing that he had the power to make Eren look so aroused.

Levi shifted up on Eren’s lap, reaching behind him as he grabbed the base of Eren’s cock, tilting it towards his hole. He pressed the tip against it, his body quivering with anticipation as he slowly lowered himself down on his length, Eren’s cock stretching and filling him up until he was buried deep inside of him.

The moment he bottomed out, he groaned, leaning his forehead against Eren’s as he adjusted to the burning pressure in his ass.

“Fuck Levi, you’re so tight,” Eren breathed, his hands splaying over his hips.

“Feel too good for you?” Levi teased, his hands wrapping around Eren’s shoulders as he sat back on his cock. It was a tight fit, but the aching stretch had his limbs shaking, his breath coming in short pants. It hurt so unbelievably good and Levi desperately wanted to feel more of it.

Eren laughed, the sound breathless and pitchy. “Yeah. If you don’t start moving I’m going to have to flip you over and fuck you myself before I lose my mind.”

Levi rolled his eyes, fingers pressing hard into Eren’s shoulder until his tan skin turned white from the pressure. “I thought you said this was about me, brat.”

“It is,” Eren smirked, rutting his hips up, sending his cock deeper into Levi.

He gasped, nearly collapsing onto Eren at the sudden movement, the stretch stealing the breath from his lungs. “You’re such a shit,” Levi hissed, his fingers wrapping around Eren’s neck, giving him a firm squeeze.

Eren’s eyes widened, his pupils dilating until they were pitch black. “That’s it, Levi. Show me how you feel.”

Levi growled, his hand tightening around Eren’s neck as he began to slowly bob up and down on Eren’s swelling cock. They both moaned at the same time, the sensual sounds of their pleasure filling up the room as Levi began to quicken his pace, Eren’s hands tightening on his hips.

A delicious pressure built up inside of his core, his head dizzy with desire, his blood burning under his flushed skin. Chasing after the fire glowing inside of him, he began to move more quickly, riding Eren’s cock with everything he had. Sweat glistened his brow as he bounced up and down on Eren’s length, his thighs burning, his lungs gasping for air.

“That’s it, Levi,” Eren murmured. “Fuck me just like that.”

He suddenly felt Eren’s wide tip ram against his prostate sending hot pleasure throughout his entire body, his limbs going weak. Levi moaned loudly as his body slackened against Eren's. His arms slid up Levi's sides, holding him up so he could continue to rut against his cock, Eren’s hips meeting him halfway in hard trusts that had him seeing stars. 

“Shit, Eren,” Levi moaned, his cock twitching between their crushed bodies, his head swimming with pleasure.

Eren groaned as he gripped his hips in a crushing vice, pounding his cock into Levi relentlessly, his thick tip assaulting his sweet spot without mercy. A deep growl rumbled in Eren’s chest, animalistic and carnal like he was a wild beast coming after his prey. 

His dark eyes locked with Levi’s, his teeth bared in a hedonistic snarl. “Hit me.”

The heat in Levi’s blood flared to life at Eren’s command, the anger smothered by his pleasure rising to the surface. The ask didn’t surprise him at all, it was something Eren asked him to do from time to time when he was craving something rougher. Giving into his desire and the hot anger boiling his blood, he slapped Eren across the face, the hard smack resonating loudly in the bedroom. It felt especially good, like all of his frustrations flew from his hand the moment it met Eren’s cheek.

Eren looked up at Levi, lips parted and panting. “Harder.”

His breath caught in his throat, a shiver running down his spine. Eren’s commanding tone was impossible to ignore and he slapped him again, harder this time, his hand stinging in the aftermath, Eren’s cheek red and welting.

“Shit Levi,” Eren moaned, his head falling back against the pillow as he continued to thrust up into Levi. “Fuck me harder.”

“Eren!” Levi cried out, his eyes screwing shut as overwhelming pressure built up in his cock. He rode up and down on Eren’s cock without restraint, his ass slapping against his thighs as Eren thrusted into him. His hole clenched around his thick cock, his nerves burning with unadulterated lust.

Eren’s hand suddenly wrapped around Levi’s leaking cock, jerking him off as their bodies fervently chased after each other. An intoxicating heat flashed across his skin and his eyes flew open as he reached out again for Eren’s neck, his thumb pressing harshly against his Adam's apple. 

“Come for me, Levi,” Eren cooed, his voice strained from the harsh press of Levi’s hand against his throat. “Let it out, baby.”

The pressure in his cock was overwhelming, his body practically screaming for release. Every muscle in his body tensed, his hole clenching around Eren’s cock as he felt himself slipping over the edge. 

“Fuck, Eren, yes!” Levi cried out, his body caving in on itself as he came undone, hot cum shooting across Eren’s chest. White heat surged through his veins, and a strained moan slipped from his mouth, his body spasming as Eren coaxed his orgasm out of him with each pull of his hand. 

“That’s it, Levi,” Eren murmured, his hand leaving his cock, sliding across his hip to his ass. He squeezed his cheek, pulling him up on his cock and then slamming him back down again. “You’re so good.”

Eren thrusted into him, pulling his ass down onto his cock over and over again. Every nerve in his body was tinging, hyper sensitive and on edge as Eren continued to fuck him without restraint. Levi’s head spun, his limbs weak and heavy. Strangled moans fell from his lips and he buried his face into the crook of Eren’s neck, his teeth digging harshly into his flesh. 

“Oh fuck, yes,” Eren moaned, tilting his neck to offer Levi more of his skin. “Harder.”

Levi groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he lost himself to the dizzying aftermath of his orgasm, biting harder into Eren’s neck in a vain attempt to ground himself. The harsh tang of iron met his tongue and Eren gasped sharply next to his ear, his fingers digging harder into his ass. Eren turned his face towards Levi, burying his nose in his hair as he loudly moaned. His whole body tensing underneath him as hot cum filled Levi up, splattering sinfully against his walls. 

Eren’s arms slackened around him, his body relaxing against the mattress as Levi sprawled out on top of him. They laid there for several moments, bodies pressed together, both panting hard as they tried to catch their breath. Levi eventually wrapped his arms around Eren’s shoulders, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck, his lips trailing lightly over the red bite mark he left on his skin.

Eren sat up, bringing Levi with him, their bodies still connected like they were afraid that if they separated from each other their quiet moment would be shattered. For the first time all day, Levi felt at peace, all traces of anger smothered out by the blissful waves of his orgasm. He knew that they still had to work through their misunderstanding, but for now he just wanted to bask in the aftermath of their love.

“You’re so good, you know that?” Eren murmured, his voice soft like a lullaby. “I really don’t deserve you.”

Levi scoffed, and looked away from Eren’s soft green gaze. He could feel his face heating up. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“Why? It’s true.”

Not sure what to say, Levi simply dropped his head against Eren’s shoulder, his eyes silently stinging from the softness of Eren’s sentiment. The way he said it made it sound like it was the infallible truth, and yet Levi didn’t believe him. He felt far from good enough.

Eren brushed his fingers through Levi’s sweat soaked hair, humming quietly to himself. “I really am sorry. For acting weird and everything else. It really has nothing to do with you. I just—I don’t know. I’ll try to be better.”

“Okay,” Levi sighed, his arms tightening around Eren’s neck. He wanted to believe him, he really did. But a small piece of him just couldn’t. It was like there was a tiny voice in his head telling him over and over that he wasn’t good enough and that’s why Eren was acting the way that he was. It was irrational, he knew that. Especially since Eren made so many declarations of his love. But being left over and over throughout his entire life did funny things to his heart. Without even knowing it, he had trained himself to believe that he wasn’t worthy of being loved.

Eren pressed a soft kiss against his forehead, smiling softly at him as he pulled away. “C’mon, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Seeing the softness in Eren’s eyes, hearing the care in his voice—it made Levi want to believe that he was allowed to love and be loved. He sighed, letting Eren pick him up from the bed to carry him into the bathroom. Maybe he could let himself believe for just a little while. He deserved that much, didn’t he?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy update day! I don't really have anything to say other than I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Thanks for all the love and support, appreciate you guys :)

“How much longer till they get here?” Levi asked, sliding a pan of lasagna that was the size of his torso into the oven.

Smirking silently to himself, Eren pulled out his phone and opened up his text thread with his mom. “They said they were an hour away like thirty minutes ago.” 

Apparently, his dad had some kind of medical conference in Trost and the whole family decided to come up to surprise Eren with a visit. The last time he’d seen his family had been for Zeke’s birthday back in early August and his mom had been pestering him for weeks now to come and visit, but there just hadn’t been any time for it. Which meant she had to take matters into her own hands and root everyone up from Shiganshina and bring them to Eren.

“I don’t understand why they decided to visit on such short notice,” Levi sighed, setting the timer on the stove for forty-five minutes. With an exasperated look on his face, he wiped his hands on his black apron and ran his hand through his ruffled hair. “Some warning would’ve been nice.”

“Hey,” Eren said, stepping towards Levi, wrapping his arms around his waist. There was nothing Levi hated more than surprise visits from his family and he could tell he was stressed by the hard set of his shoulders. Unfortunately for him, unscheduled visits like this happened more often than not when it came to his family. ”Don’t worry, I’m sure everything is going to be great.”

“ _ Tch _ ,” he rolled his eyes, melting slightly into Eren’s arms. “Doubtful. Your family is batshit crazy.”

“That’s not completely true. My mom is pretty normal.”

“Yeah, she’s the  _ only  _ one. If it was just your mom and dad, I could handle that. But fucking Zeke and his wife too?” Levi shook his head, his fingers balling into the fabric of Eren’s shirt. “Your brother gives me the creeps.”

Eren frowned. “He’s not all that bad.”

“ _ Not that bad _ ? He makes weird passes at me all the time.”

“ _ Pssh _ . Don’t be so full of yourself,” he said, playfully poking Levi in the stomach. “He probably just thinks it’s funny to annoy you.”

“Typical Jaeger bullshit,” Levi sighed, pulling away from Eren and moving over to the counter. He pulled down two wine glasses and reached for a bottle of red zinfandel. “They’re not even here yet and I already need a drink.”

Eren snorted. It was rare that Levi drank. Sometimes he would have a glass of wine at dinner or while he was grading papers, but he rarely indulged in it. Spending time with Eren’s family always seemed to put him on edge, though Eren really didn’t understand why. For the most part, everyone in his family loved Levi, his dad being the exception. 

Though... his dad didn’t really like anything Eren did. He was going to need a drink or two to deal with  _ that. _

“Pour me one?”

“Obviously,” Levi smirked, pouring out two generous glasses for the both of them. 

Eren wasn’t looking forward to having to deal with his dad. No matter what Eren was doing with his life, he always had something to say about his choices, tearing him down a peg or two whenever he had the chance.

Levi handed him the full glass of wine, a knowing look in his eyes. “Don’t get all worried on me now. You just said everything was going to be great.”

“I know,” Eren sighed, taking the glass and taking a long sip from it. Eren wasn’t a big wine drinker, but the dry flavor and hint of berries brushing against his taste buds took the stress off his shoulders. “But I’m sure he’s going to have something to say.”

“He always does.”

“True. I can handle it when he says shit about me but when he says shit about you I can’t take it.”

Levi took a sip of his wine, and then set it down with a sigh. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve heard much worse than the bullshit your dad comes up with. It doesn’t bother me.”

“Yeah, well, it bothers me.”

“I know. Which is why I’m worried I’m going to say something I probably shouldn’t and ruin the whole dinner.”

Eren snorted. “I wouldn’t mind if you did. That time you told my dad off on my birthday was amazing.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Your mom didn’t think so. She seemed pretty upset.”

“Nah,” Eren smirked into his glass, taking another sip. The drink was starting to make his head fuzzy, any and all worries melting away. “She was more upset with the shit my dad was saying to me than what you said in return. She hates when my dad goes off like he does.”

“If you say so,” he shrugged, moving over to the fridge and pulling out a bag of lettuce and other assorted vegetables. “Wanna help me make the salad?” 

“Sure,” Eren smiled, moving over to the kitchen island to stand by Levi.

Together, they chopped up the vegetables, idly chatting about his family as Eren snuck fleeting kisses whenever he could. Ever since their fight a week ago, things have been relatively normal between them. While there was still tension in the air, neither of them spoke on it, and Eren made up for the awkward atmosphere by showering his boyfriend with affection. Levi didn’t seem to mind too much, his cheeks turning that signature pink whenever Eren brushed his chin with his thumb and pulled him up for a kiss. 

Even now, his cheeks flushed with blush—whether from Eren’s attention or the wine, it was hard to say. Either way, he liked the look of it, his eyes lingering on the sight as Levi tossed all of the salad into a large serving bowl.

A harsh vibration against his leg pulled his attention away from the endearing sight. He reached for his phone and pulled it out, expecting a text from his mom, but it wasn’t from her. It was from Ymir. 

**[Ymir]** What are you doing tonight?

Without even thinking twice about it, he quickly typed up a text in response.

**[Eren]** My family is coming up from Shiganshina to visit

**[Ymir]** Bummer :( I was hoping you’d be at the party tonight

**[Eren]** Awh yeah :/ Depends on how late they stick around. I might need a drink or five after this dinner if I’m being honest

**[Ymir]** okay, well let me know

With that, Eren slid his phone back into his pocket, ignoring the curious look on Levi’s face as he polished off his first glass of wine. Though he never said anything about it, Eren could tell Levi was suspicious of his texting. While he often was on his phone, messing around on Twitter or scrolling through Tiktok, he didn’t spend a lot of time texting his friends. Mikasa was so far up Jean’s ass that she never bothered to text him anymore and Armin was too busy with school and chasing after that Annie girl to even think about reaching out to Eren. The only person that texted him on the regular anymore was Ymir. And while Levi’s never talked about her, Eren was sure he didn’t like her based on his body language and facial expressions whenever Eren brought her up.

“What?” Eren asked, his skin prickling under the heavy weight of Levi’s stare.

“Nothing,” he huffed, turning around to pour himself another glass of wine.

Eren knew it wasn’t  _ nothing _ . There was obviously something bothering him, but he really didn’t want to get into it with Levi right before his family got there. He would have to ask him about it later when they were alone.

“Maybe you should slow down a bit. You’re gonna be drunk before my family even gets here.”

Levi rolled his eyes, ignoring him as he poured another generous glass. “That’s the goal.”

Before Eren could argue with him, a hard knock resonated through the living room to the kitchen. “Oh shit, they’re here already?” Eren asked, his eyes flicking over to the microwave to check the time. Apparently, it had been thirty minutes already and he hadn’t even noticed.

_ Shit _ . He wasn’t mentally prepared for this.

Levi visibly tensed, taking a long sip of his wine before sliding the apron over his head, folding it up, and tucking it into the corner of the counter to be dealt with later. He sighed, straightening out his blue button up and fixing his rumpled hair before meeting Eren’s gaze with a steely resolve glistening in his dark eyes.

Eren swallowed hard, trying to find comfort in Levi’s grounding presence before stepping away to answer the door. Seeing his dad again had his nerves on edge, especially because he had nothing new he could brag about to hype himself up. The disappointment his father was bound to feel was already palpable. 

They knocked again, this time more loud and firm, the harsh vibrations sending waves of nervousness through his stomach. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door and pulled it open, revealing four familiar faces that had him feeling both nervous and excited.

“Baby brother!” A tall, blonde haired man with a full beard and glasses covering his blue eyes greeted him loudly. He held his arms open as he stepped forward, wrapping Eren up in a tight hug that made his back tense.

“Uh, hey Zeke,” Eren said, patting him awkwardly on the back as he subtly tried to pull away. Zeke was always a bit overzealous when it came to Eren, constantly invading his personal space and business without a care as to how uncomfortable it was.

Zeke stepped back, allowing his mom to come forward for a hug of her own. “Well aren’t you looking as handsome as ever,” Carla said, giving him a tight hug, a soft smile warming her amber eyes as she looked up at him. 

“Thanks, mom,” Eren huffed, his cheeks burning at the compliment which was quickly stolen away the moment his eyes landed on his dad. He was standing next to his mom, his green eyes dark and expressionless as they raked over him.

“Eren,” Grisha said, holding out his hand, which he took, frowning as his father gave him a firm, impersonal handshake. 

“Dad.” It was all he could think to say. Talking with his dad never came naturally to him. Sometimes it felt like they were worlds apart.

Zeke’s wife was the last to step inside, her dark brown eyes wide and intense as she stared at Eren. “Hey Yelena,” he greeted, albeit a bit timidly. He didn’t know much about the woman, just that she was crazy for Zeke.

“Good to see you, Eren,” she said, a creepy little smile on her lips. For whatever reason, she kind of weirded Eren out. There was just something… off about her.

Eren exhaled, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with all of his family standing around him. He quickly stepped back, ushering them all inside as they slipped their shoes off by the door and hung their coats up.

Levi stood a ways back, awkwardly leaning against the archway that separated the living room from the kitchen. The moment that Carla spotted him, her eyes lit up and she gave him a warm hug, despite the way his whole body tensed up from the intimate gesture.

“Thanks for having us on such short notice. It’s awfully nice that you took the time out of your busy day to cook us food,” Carla smiled, letting go of Levi and taking a step back to offer some personal space, allowing him to visibly relax.

“Levi made lasagna and homemade garlic bread,” Eren said, his voice swelling with pride. Just like with most things, Levi was an amazing cook. It was rare that he ever had the time or energy to make anything, but when he did, the food was always excellent.

Carla perked up at that, her smile widening, reaching all the way to her eyes. “That’s my favorite!”

“I know,” Levi shrugged. “Eren helped with it. I can’t take full credit.”

Eren flushed at that, the wine in his system making his cheeks warm under his mom's sudden scrutiny. 

“I’m surprised! Whenever Eren helped me in the kitchen, he always made such a mess of things,” she laughed, patting Eren gently on the arm, a warm fondness in her gaze.

“I was like ten years old, mom, cut me some slack.”

“Where’s my hug, Levi?” Zeke interrupted, suddenly stepping next to Levi, looking down at him.

Levi turned to him, a scowl deepening his brow. “You don’t get one.”

“Awh, c’mon that’s hardly any way to talk to your sorta kind of brother-in-law.” Zeke reached out, patting Levi on the shoulder, but his hand was quickly batted away.

“I’ll talk to you however the fuck I want.”

Zeke laughed, waving his hand in the air as if to brush off Levi’s attitude. “We should go out, just the four of us, after the conference tomorrow. Could be fun.”

“And be stuck talking to you and your shitty beard all night? Hard pass.”

“Come on,” Yelena stepped in, her hand resting on Eren’s unsuspecting shoulder. He flinched at her touch, surprised that she had snuck up next to him like that. “We hardly get to see you guys.”

“I have plans tomorrow night,” Eren mentioned, biting his tongue. He quickly looked over at Levi, realizing he forgot to mention that to him before the dinner. 

“Oh? What are you doing?” Levi asked, folding his arms over his chest, frowning.

“Hanging out with some friends.”

“Armin? Mikasa? I’d love to see them again! Maybe we could come with?” Zeke asked, grinning from ear to ear. Just the thought of  _ Zeke  _ coming along to one of his college parties had him tensing. That would be such a buzz kill. “Speaking of Mikasa, where is she tonight?”

“She has an allergy to gross beards, said she couldn't make it,” Levi said, a glare pointed directly at Zeke.

“You seem awfully interested in my beard, Levi,” Zeke said, a smug smirk on his face. “Take note, Eren. I think your man might have a facial hair fetish.” 

That coy comment had annoyance festering in his gut and it took everything in his power not to reach out and smack that smirk right off his brother’s face.

But before he could say anything, Carla clapped her hands together, drawing everyone's attention to her. “Okay! That’s enough of that, why don’t we all head into the kitchen and have a drink or something.”

“Please,” Levi grumbled, leading the way. 

Eren followed, his belly hot with irritation. It’d only been a couple of minutes and Zeke had already made things weird with Levi. While he didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that his brother had a weird thing for his boyfriend, after his poor attempts at flirting, it was clear that he did, married or not.

“Eren, can you get down the wine glasses?” Levi asked.

He hummed his acknowledgment, reaching up on the top shelf to get down four glasses. Levi poured out the remaining zinfandel, having to open up another bottle in order to top them all off. 

Everyone, except Levi and Eren, grabbed their glasses and made their way into the dining room, idly chatting about the conference tomorrow. Before joining them, Eren turned to his boyfriend, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “You alright?”

“You see what I mean, now?”

“Yeah,” Eren frowned. “If he tries that shit again, I’ll tell him off.”

Levi waved his hand, brushing him off. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t want to start drama like last time.”

Eren didn’t say anything as Levi grabbed the prepared salad and his glass of wine, heading for the dining room. While he’s never said it before, he knew that Levi wanted to win his family’s approval—wanted to be accepted as one of their own, especially since he never had his own family growing up. 

Though, his family didn’t make it easy. More often than not, they said something that made one of them snap, causing a heated argument to break out over the dinner table. But starting a fight tonight wasn’t going to win Levi any brownie points with his family and he knew they needed to be on their best behavior. And even though Eren really wanted to sock his brother in the face for making a pass at his boyfriend, he would restrain himself for Levi’s sake.

When Eren joined them in the dining room, they were passing around the salad bowl, his mom and Levi idly chatting about his job at the university. Though he never had much to say about his job, his mom always made an effort to include him in conversation.

Eren sat down next to Levi, taking the bowl as it was passed to him and plating up a small portion of the salad. He wasn’t really all that hungry. With his father seated across the table, his dark, scrutinizing gaze focused on him, his stomach was too uneasy to eat any food.

“How’s school been going for you?” Carla asked, casually turning the conversation over to Eren once she realized Levi had nothing more to say about his teaching. 

“Fine, I guess. My classes are all pretty easy this semester.”

“That’s good, sweetie. I’m glad you’re still enjoying school.”

“Yeah, I—”

“Have you finally decided what you want to do with your life?” Grisha interjected, his heavy gaze burning into Eren’s skin as he stared intently at him.

"Not really," Eren shrugged, pushing some lettuce around with his fork. "I just don't want to be stuck doing the same shit every day for the rest of my life, you know?"

“Yeah but that’s life,” Zeke said. “Wake up, go to work, eat, shit, fuck, and sleep.”

“Zeke, not at the dinner table,” Carla rolled her eyes, frowning in disgust.

He simply smirked in return, winking at her like the degenerate he so loved to be. It was honestly a wonder why Grisha preferred him so much more. Maybe it’s because Zeke had always been a better ass kisser than Eren.

Eren scoffed. “That’s so boring, I don’t want that for myself. I want to be able to travel and do the shit I like whenever I want.”

“Not many careers have that kind of autonomy,” Yelena said.

“I know, that’s why I haven’t figured out what I want to do.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Grisha said, directing his question at Levi.

He sat back in his chair, his mouth popping open with surprise. “What do I fucking look like, his keeper? He can do whatever the hell he wants.”

“So, what, when he graduates and is jobless, you’re okay with just paying his way to do  _ whatever the hell he wants _ ?”

Levi shook his head, setting his fork down with a loud  _ clank  _ before crossing his arms over his chest. “What I choose to do with my money is none of your goddamn business.”

Eren’s hands were slick with sweat as he watched the heated exchange between his boyfriend and his dad. A part of him loved seeing Levi get defensive over him, but the other part felt bad that he even had to in the first place. His dad loved sticking his nose into matters that didn’t concern him but more often than not, Levi was an expert at snuffing him out.

The timer went off in the kitchen and Levi abruptly stood, storming out of the dining room to grab the finished lasagna. It was quiet for a moment as the awkward tension in the room settled, everyone picking absently at their salads. 

“Whatever you choose to do, we support you, honey. We just want to make sure you’re doing what’s right for you, is all,” his mom said, her soft tone dousing out the anger boiling his blood.

His mom always had a way of calming him down. Even when his skin was flushed with rage, hands shaking, chest hot and tense—she was able to mellow him out with just a word or a soothing touch. It was like she was a living and breathing lullaby, walking into a room and stealing every worry he’s ever had with just a song.

Eren nodded, chewing slowly around his mouthful of salad before washing it down with a long sip of his wine. “I like what I’m doing. I just don’t have all the details figured out for when I graduate.”

“And that’s fine. Zeke didn’t go straight to medical school right out of college. Sometimes we need time to figure things out before we jump right into the next step. Isn’t that right?” she asked, looking over at Zeke for affirmation.

“Yes, but I always knew I wanted to be a doctor. I simply was taking a break to plan our wedding,” Zeke said, looking over at Yelena with a smile hiding under his mustache.

Levi came back into the dining room with the giant pan of lasagna, his brows pulled down in obvious annoyance. Clearly, he didn’t like the current topic of conversation. Not that Eren blamed him. It was never fun being the center of his father’s attention.

He sat the pan down in the middle of the table, circling back around to his seat to cut it up and dish it out while the conversation continued around him.

“Not everyone needs to stick to the same schedule, you know,” Eren said. “I don’t see why I need to know what I’m going to do for the rest of my life right here and now. I’m only twenty-one years old. How the fuck am I supposed to know what I want to do for the next forty years?”

Grisha sighed, taking a long sip of his wine before setting it down and locking his green gaze onto Eren once again. “What can you even do with a history degree? Be a librarian, a teacher—what? Are you just trying to waste my money?”

“No,” Eren bristled, his hand tightening around his fork as he narrowed his gaze onto his father. “Weren’t you the one that said education was important? That I  _ had  _ to go to college if I wanted to make it in life?”

“Yes, well, I said that with the hopes that you would go to medical school, like me and your brother. Not waste your time getting a bullshit degree.”

Levi scoffed as he sat back down, drawing Eren’s attention over to him. His eyes were dead set onto Grisha, eyebrows pulled down in a scowl. “I have what you call a ‘bullshit’ degree and I’m doing just fine for myself.”

“Yes, but you continued your education after your undergrad and got a doctorate, correct?”

“So? I didn’t have to.”

“But if you hadn't you’d probably be waiting tables with a worthless and overpriced piece of paper hanging above your bed. And let’s be honest with ourselves here—if Eren didn’t want to go to medical school, there’s no way in hell he'll want to get a masters degree.”

The wine in his system was making his skin hot, his face going red as his father’s words sank in. He clenched his jaw together, refusing to meet Grisha’s gaze out of fear that he might snap under the pressure.

Levi’s hand slid over his thigh, his fingers giving him a comforting squeeze, drawing him to the soft hue of his eyes. They reminded him of early morning fog—cold, yet comforting—like a blanket wrapping around him before the sun comes up. The tender touch of his hand, the gentle look in his stare—it stole the building anger from his chest, replacing it with warm affection. 

“Yeah, you’re right. School is just a bunch of bullshit anyway,” Eren managed to say evenly, thanks to Levi’s silent support. “I don’t plan on wasting any more time on it.”

Grisha sighed, shaking his head as he cut into his food. "So, Zeke's been making quite a name for himself in his field. He was actually invited to the conference as well."

It didn’t surprise Eren that his father had decided to change the subject. He wasn’t going to change Eren’s mind about school, or his career, or anything for that matter. They never saw eye to eye on things, which was one of the many reasons Eren got the hell out of Shiganshina the moment he turned eighteen. 

Now, Grisha just wanted to rub it in Eren’s face who his favorite son really was. 

“Good for you,” Eren grumbled, peeking up at his brother who was sporting a sympathetic look.

“It’s no big deal,” Zeke said, waving his hand dismissively.

“It most certainly is!” Grisha beamed, clapping Zeke on the shoulder. “You’re one of the youngest doctors chosen to go. That’s saying something.”

Zeke shrugged, seemingly uncomfortable by the praise.

“You should be proud, Z. Your dad's right, it’s a big accomplishment,” Yelena added, dark eyes glistening as she gazed over at her husband.

“The food is excellent, Levi,” Zeke said, diverting the conversation away from himself. “Eren’s a lucky guy if he gets to eat you—err, your cooking every day.” He quickly corrected himself.

Eren could practically feel Levi tense up at that comment and when he turned to look at him, he was already fixing a hard glare onto Zeke, his hands balled into fists next to his dinner plate. 

Before Levi could say anything, Eren turned to Zeke, irritation bubbling in his belly. “Yeah, I'm the luckiest," Eren smirked, his voice low and suggestive. "Everything always tastes so good and I  _ always _ savor every bite." He flashed his brother a look that silently told him to back the fuck off.

The room was quiet as they let his words hang in the air. As the awkwardness settled over them, the faintest hint of blush bloomed underneath Zeke’s yellow beard and he could’ve sworn Yelena’s eyes widened at his shameless comment.

His mother cleared her throat. “That’s enough of that, you two.”

"Where did I go wrong with you,” Grisha mumbled to himself, his eyes downcast as he shook his head. There was no doubt in Eren’s mind that his father was referring to him, the disapproval radiating off of him suffocating. The fact that he was such a disappointment to his father had his heart sinking into his stomach as he subconsciously sunk lower into his chair.

“What the fuck is wrong with  _ you _ ?” Levi hissed, his voice low as he narrowed his gaze onto Grisha. “You come here, into our home, making passive-aggressive comments towards your son all night and wonder what’s wrong with  _ him?”  _ he gestured towards Eren, who was looking up at his boyfriend with wide eyes. Levi rarely let his anger show, and when he did, it meant he was really pissed off. His dad had clearly stepped over the line.

“Eren might not be perfect—nobody is. But he’s your son. You’re supposed to build him up, not tear him down every time you see him. Apparently, your shitty excuse for parents never taught you that,” Levi said, leaning back into his seat, picking up his wine, and taking a long sip of it. “Fucking asshole,” he grumbled into the glass. 

For what felt like the hundredth time that evening, the room was silent. Grisha sat as still as a statue, staring at Levi with widened eyes, completely at a loss for words. It was like his birthday all over again—making Eren hot in more ways than. The protective gleam in Levi’s sharp, steel eyes had his blood flaring with heat, but his belly was still boiling with irritation from his father’s snide comment. It was a strange dichotomy of feelings swirling around inside him and he was completely stunned into silence.

“Can we just have  _ one  _ normal dinner?” Carla said, downing her entire glass of wine. “Is that too much to ask for? I haven’t seen my baby in months and this is how we’re going to act?” Though her rant was aimed at the entire room, she fixed her stare onto her husband, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as if she was silently telling him to behave himself.

Grisha sighed. “Sorry.” Though it wasn’t directed to anyone in particular, his eyes eventually found Eren’s and there was the faintest glimmer of regret in them. It wasn’t much, but he would take what he could get. It’s not like he was going to be getting his father’s loving praise anytime soon.

Unable to handle the awkward tension hanging in the air, Eren reached for Levi’s hand, pulling it into his lap as he tangled their fingers together. The cool touch of his skin smothered the burning heat in his blood, grounding him and making him feel safe again. Levi squeezed his hand in return, the small gesture making him smile quietly to himself as he poked his food around with his fork.

His family broke back into a steady conversation as they finished their dinner, nobody daring to talk about what just happened. It was like they were all lying to themselves that they were a normal, average, run-of-the-mill family when in reality they were barely hanging on by a thread.

Every time he saw them, it just validated his choice for moving away, for living his life the way he saw fit. Nobody, especially not his dad, would change that.

* * *

  
  


“I’m sorry about your father,” Carla said as she hugged Eren tightly around the neck. “I know he can be a little hard around the edges but he really does love you. He just doesn’t know how to show it.”

“Yeah,” Eren frowned, breaking their hug by taking a step back. He wasn’t really sure what to say to that. Just because he loved Eren, it didn’t excuse him for being an asshole. If anything, it made it all the more absurd.

“Thanks for looking out and standing up for my son.” She turned to Levi, wrapping him up in a tight hug which he returned after a moment of hesitation. “You’re a good man. I’m glad he has you.”

“Thanks,” Levi mumbled, clearly uncomfortable by her praise.

She took a step back, smiling softly at the both of them. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she waved, closing the door as she left.

Eren groaned, moving over into the living room and flopping onto the couch with an exasperated huff. “Finally.”

Levi smirked, sinking down next to him, the couch sinking under his weight. Smiling, Eren slid his arm around his shoulder and pulled him into his side, nuzzling his cheek against the side of his head.

“Thanks for telling my dad off. It was kind of hot, not gonna lie.”

Levi snorted, peering up at Eren through his fringe. “He’s an ass. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“Yeah,” Eren sighed. He wanted to believe that—he really did. But after enduring his father’s nagging disapproval all of his life it was hard to compartmentalize it all. “I need a drink after that shit show. Ymir invited me out and I was thinking about going—”

"Seriously? I don't want to be left alone after that,” Levi said, his fingers curling into Eren’s shirt as if he was silently begging him to stay. “Besides aren't you hanging out with her tomorrow?" 

“Well, yeah—”

"We can drink here—finish off the wine together. Don't go out tonight,” he quickly interjected, his eyes wide and pleading as he looked up at Eren.

“How can I say no to that?” Eren smirked, his hand sliding around Levi’s waist, pulling up the fabric of his shirt to reveal a stripe of smooth, pale skin. 

“Maybe we could smoke some of your weed.”

Eren’s eyes widened. Did he know that he had weed on him? He must’ve—otherwise he wouldn’t have suggested it.

“I’m not an idiot, Eren,” Levi smirked. “I saw your stash when I was doing laundry.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? It’s just pot. You don’t think I’ve smoked before?”

“No, I—” Eren sighed, shaking his head. It was a knee-jerk reaction to think that Levi would disapprove. It was ingrained in him from having to endure his dad’s constant criticism, making him defensive without even realizing it.

“Stop hiding shit from me. I’m not going to be mad at you,” Levi said, his eyes softening as he cupped the side of his face, his thumb gently rubbing Eren’s warm cheek. 

“My bad,” Eren frowned. “Habit, I guess.”

“I get it. But I’m not your enemy, Eren. I want to do the things you like to do, talk about the things you want to talk about without you thinking I’m going to be upset or mad at you. Okay?”

Eren smiled, dipping down to press a tender kiss against Levi’s lips. “Okay,” he murmured, his skin buzzing from wine and affection. “Let’s go, then.”

He tightened his arms around Levi’s waist, lifting him up as he stood, wobbling slightly under his weight.

Levi gasped, his hands balling into his shirt as he was slung over Eren’s shoulder. “What are you doing? Put me down, brat.”

“I’m just doing things I like to do,” Eren smirked, hefting Levi up on his shoulder. “That’s what you wanted, right?”

He slackened against Eren’s body, giving up in his fight to break free. “You’re a shit, you know that?”

“Yeah,” Eren laughed, squeezing Levi’s backside, forgetting all about the unpleasant conversation he’d had with his father. “But you love me anyways.”

After everything was said and done, his father was nothing but an ant, squashed out by the overwhelming comfort of Levi's love. Eren was glad that he was able to just unwind with him and be himself without any fear of judgment. After being told over and over by his father that he wasn’t good enough, this was exactly what he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated <3
> 
> Also feel free to follow me on [Tumblr!](https://sliceofereri.tumblr.com/)


End file.
